Resolutions, Anyone?

Hello there most humans and many others,

I was just wondering if any of you out there make New Year's Resolutions. I have never done that before, but I was thinking that I might make some for Missy Linda whether or not she wants me to do that. I am doubting that she goes to the trouble of trying to improve herself, aren't you?

I, on the other hand, know many things that she can do, if she will, to improve herself! The first item on the list would be to listen to me and take my advice. I believe that would do her the most good, and it is the best thing for all of us in this household, for sure.

In addition, Missy Linda should find a way to earn much more money. I seldom get to shop on the internet any more. She is really cramping my style!

It is evident that she must spend more time walking and playing with Mr. Nelson. He needs more attention so that he will not attempt to play with me. I like him, but he does try to chew my lovely dress when he plays with me. That must stop!

If you have any ideas for resolutions that Missy Linda should adopt, I am positive that she would love to hear your suggestions. Just send her a message through me, or email her. OK?

Thanks, People!

Greetings most people and many others,

I just want to thank you all for helping me visualize Missy Linda having a bad time at work yesterday. It really worked - - - better than I anticipated.

Not only did Missy Linda have to lift some boxes of merchandise, as well as having a super high number of customers, she slipped in the parking lot on her way in to the store. She wasn't really hurt, but it didn't help her sore back any. She kind of fell on her side. She did have pretty wet clothes for about half the day. At least she wasn't complaining about its being too hot in the store until her clothes dried!

There was a policeman who saw her fall. He did watch from his cruiser as she got up from the icy abyss by using her plastic drink cup to steady herself. When she continued across the parking lot to the store, he pulled up to her, lowered his window, and asked if she was all right. Wasn't that nice of him!

By the time yesterday was over, Missy Linda wishes she had just stayed on the ice and pretended it was worse than it was so she could have gone home for the day.

I do feel a tiny bit of remorse for hoping for Missy Linda to have such a terrible day since it actually happened. She said there was even more to make her day crappy, but she was too wrung out to discuss it with me. Maybe I will see what using my powers for good is like for awhile - - - or not!

Bad Idea Jeans

Hi there most humans and many others,

Well, I can tell you all that Missy Linda was wearing her "Bad Idea Jeans" yesterday when she decided that she needed to finally shovel the sidewalk up to the front door. She had no troubles at all except for a couple of places that were solid ice.

That is, she had no troubles at all until this morning. You should hear her moaning and groaning with a sore back! I am going to sit here in the warm house while she whines and is mad at herself for the day at work. She is going to be so sorry all day long.

Why don't you all join me in envisioning her at work hoisting heavy bolts of fleece up to the highest shelf or climbing the big ladder in the stock room? I figure she has until about 11:00 am until she snaps and bites some nice customer's head off. Isn't this a hoot!?

Here We Go Again

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, right now I was supposed to be getting ready to leave for Fayetteville, AR, with Missy Linda, Tio Kane and Mr. Nelson. As usual, things have changed! We are not going to be able to go because of Missy Linda's work. She was not able to get off for two days in a row because they are short-staffed right now.

Usually there is someone available who can trade days or shifts if needed, but right now there are not enough people. One girl is having surgery tomorrow. One lady left last week. One lady can work only her usual days because she has another job on the other days. I hope Missy Linda doesn't get another job, too!

Anyway, we are supposed to get to go next week. I hope that really happens! I'm sure Christmas two weeks late won't seem odd at all. (It probably won't to Missy Linda). Wish us luck!

Wow! I'm Getting Lazy!

Hello most humans and many others,

Did you think that I had dropped off the face of the earth? Well, I believe that I have been living with Missy Linda so long that I have caught some of her laziness! Maybe if I have some of hers, she can get more done!

How was your Christmas? It was super quiet around here. We were blizzarded in for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Missy Linda went to work yesterday. She didn't have any trouble, she said. She had an extra coat, a snow shove, the car charger for her phone, and her sack lunch that was really for work, just in case she got stranded for a little while. She knew she wouldn't have been there long because Mr. Nick told her to call him, and he would come and get her. She knew that he would be able to do that for sure as he has four wheel drive, and he has always been an excellent bad weather driver.

Well, Missy Linda is telling me to get off the computer. She is so bossy sometimes! I promise I will talk to you tomorrow.

More Fun at Work (?)

Hi there most humans and many others,

Missy Linda came home with another story that she thinks is funny. I personally feel that some of these little snippets of a job in retail are grasping at crazy straws.

Anyway, one day Missy Linda asked Mr. Bigboss (the store manager) if he ever found it hard to come to the same job for so long because he has worked in essentially the same job in a couple of different stores since the late 70s. He told her that it was the customers that kept him from being too bored because you never knew what to expect from them.

Missy Linda thinks this is a good example of that premise, and Mr. Bigboss was not even there yesterday to enjoy this.

There was a nice lady who came in to buy supplies to make a wedding dress that her three year old granddaughter requested. In a bag that she brought with her was her granddaughter's favorite toy, which was the "bride" for whom the little girl wanted the dress. It was a large stuffed parrot! It was at least as big as a real parrot, and it looked almost alive.

This poor grammy was intent on doing her best to make a wedding dress for this parrot to make her granddaughter happy. The little darling wanted to make sure that the parrot would carry flowers, too. There was no mention of the groom. One can only wonder!

Just when I think that Missy Linda and many others of you humans are as crazy as you can get, she brings home a story like this! I am truly becoming worried for the future of your human race! And the weird thing is that Missy Linda thinks the grammy was very nice and not a bit crazy!

Fun at Work

Hello there most humans and many others,

Missy Linda was telling me a story about some funny and weird things that happened at her work on Sunday. It was probably much more entertaining to her than it is to us. But, anyway, here is what she said happened:


When she and her boss went in the store to open on Sunday, they were greeted by some signage mistakes that just sent Missy Linda into a giggling mess. There were at least twelve of these signs posted in prominent places throughout a whole area of the store. Now, the boss is notorious for being a bad speller, but someone had to put up the signs and failed to notice the error! There is plenty of blame to spread around.

Missy Linda and her boss spent the day laughing and trying to decide what they could do with the signs as a joke to the big boss that would be funny but allow them to stay employed. There were several ideas tossed about, such as a giant poster hanging in the store when the boss came in the next day with the signs being held by the "Sunday girls" (that's what they call themselves because the same people always work on Sundays). Someone thought getting some potatoes and carving them into people, then taking pictures would be hilarious. They finally decided on something more simple.

Missy Linda's immediate boss took one of the signs and wrote a note which she attached to it, and she left it in the office. It went something like this:

Dear Mr. ____,
An Idaho Russet and a Big Baker came in to buy some of the fabrics advertised, but none of us knew anything about the "Decotator Fabrics." We did not know where or what they are. The Russet and Baker left the store quite upset and mentioned that they might contact the corporate office.

Go figure. Missy Linda thinks that whole thing is hilarious.

Worse Than Ever

Hello there most humans and many others,

Well, as usual, Missy Linda has done it again. The tension between Mr. Nelson and Mr. Mushu is worse than ever, thanks to her meddling.

She again attempted to get them together for a meeting of the minds, which again resulted in an even higher level of contentious feelings and actions on both their parts. I'll tell you, I am just about ready to call it quits on figuring out Missy Linda. I believe there is no rhyme or reason in the working of her brain.

She will plan something for the pets to help them get along better, but when the time comes, she just completely seems to do everything wrong. I don't know what to do with her.

In the meantime, Mr. Nelson is not allowed past the baby gate which now blocks off the hallway to the bedrooms and the utility room. This area is designated for Mr. Mushu. And that's the way it is around here now, thanks to Missy Linda.

Yea! Reliable Car

Greetings most humans and many others,

When Missy Linda interviewed for her job, she assured Mr. Fry, her boss, that her car is reliable in cold weather. Even if it should not start, she told him, Tio Kane could drive her to work. If that was impossible, she assured him, another son, Mr. Nick, lives close to her, and her daughter-in-law, Missy Lesley, is very nice and would surely be able to give her a lift. Unfortunately, since then, Mr. Nick and Missy Lesley have moved across town so that they no longer live close to us.

However, the good news is that, Missy Linda went out already to make sure her car would start, and . . . it did! I guess that really cold weather is a bad deal for some people's cars, and I know it has to be super cold because she wore shoes, gloves and a coat when she went outside! (Her usual thinking is that if it is not cold enough for her feet to stick to the sidewalk when she goes out, it is not very cold, and shoes are not necessary.) Missy Linda is very happy that she will be able to get to work this morning without any problems unless something else should develop.

I just wonder why Missy Linda doesn't stop using her garage for a storage facility and park her car in there like I have heard other humans do. Even though one side of the garage has a door that has to be opened by human strength, that is still not an insurmountable problem. Missy Linda is always saying, "I might be fat, but I am very strong."

Forgot to be Thankful

Greetings most humans and many others,

Thanksgiving is in the past now, but I forgot to stop and realize that I have some things for which to be thankful. Perhaps first on the list is that I no longer live head down in a shopping bag. That is a really big deal for me, and I SUPPOSE that I should remember that more often---especially when I am complaining about not going places and doing exciting things. Or maybe not.

Things for which Missy Linda is thankful (in no particular order):

her minimum wage, part-time job, which she did not have until August. Someday, though, she would like to have a job with a salary rather than wages- - -and insurance.

all her girls are healthy and happy and funny and sassy and curious and fabulous.

Mr. Nelson. He has cheered her up more than hardly anything I can remember. He is the reason she gets up in the morning (so she can let him out to pee)!

being able to go back to college this coming semester.

Sometimes she needs to be reminded how good she really has it, right?

Normalcy

Greeting most humans and many others,

Well, things around here are back to whatever "normal" is for us. No more humming toilets and that sort of thing for a few days now. I suppose "they" are gone.

Missy Linda is happy about one thing, and that is pretty rare. Mr. Nick asked if he could set up Missy Linda's Christmas village at his house. He remembers that he enjoyed doing it with Missy Linda when he was a kid, and he wants to put it up with Missy Ryley. Also, it hasn't been set up around here for at least four years- - -not since I've been here. Missy Linda is very happy that it is going to be enjoyed, and she does not have to do the work!

She did have to stoop over and drag it out of the closet that goes underneath the stairs that is behind another closet. But, hey, maybe Mr. Nick will want to keep it at his house after this!

Evidently, it is quite an undertaking as Missy Linda has collected things for the village for about thirty years. She has a little downtown area with a school, store, fire station, and train station. There is a side of town with smaller houses, and a side of town with big 'ol mansions. There is a farm and a skating rink with skaters, a ski slope with skiiers and a hockey rink with a game in progress. There is even a Santa in his sleigh that flies around over the town. Just the electrical system is an afternoon's job. Merry Christmas, Mr. Nick!

Are THEY Here?

Greetings most people and many others,

Well, strange things are happening around here! I don't know what to think.

This morning when Missy Linda got up, she heard a strange hum coming from the hall bathroom. When she went to investigate, she discovered it was the toilet!

When she walked by the office, the computer was running, and she had trouble getting it to stop. Tio Kane never leaves on the computer as that is one of his big pet peeves with Missy Linda.

Last night, Mr. Nelson carried two of his favorite toys outside into the cold and dark and left them there. One of them was his stuffed dog that he latched onto his first night here. Why would he do that?

Tio Kane studied a long time for his final in Chinese that he will take today. Tio Kane seldom studies. He writes papers and works on projects, but he just doesn't study.

Not earth shattering happenings . . . just a few coincidences?

"I" before "e" except after "c". Weird?

No Computer for Juana

Greetings most people and many others,

Well, I just want you all to know about the situation that I am facing around here. There seems to be no time for me to get a turn on the computer. . .Big Surprise!

It is the end of the semester for Tio Kane so he is writing papers out the wazoo, and he is even editing the papers of other people in his group projects. That, and Missy Linda's looking at cute kitty pictures and crap like that leave little time for me.

Somehow I thought that with her at work and him at school, I would have plenty of time to shop and browse and write. WRONG! I am getting pretty tired of the way that I am treated around here!

And if I say anything about it to Missy Linda, she says some horrible thing like, "Do you want to live head down in a shopping bag again?" She is vicious, isn't she?

"Best Dog I Ever Had"

Greetings most people and many others,

Well, I can tell you what I have been doing the last week! That is, if you are interested. It seems to me that no one cares about anything around this house except for Mr. Nelson! Now don't go getting me all wrong. . .I like Mr. Nelson, but I am sick of hearing how great he is.

That seems to be all anyone was interested in during Thanksgiving.

Oh, he's so sweet. He's so smart. He's so soft. He's so bouncy. He's so obedient. . .and on and on and on! Missy Amelia, who is only four says, "He's the best dog I ever had."

I think I need to go take a chill pill, if you will excuse me.

Poor Mr. Mushu

Greetings most humans and many others,

Well, Missy Linda is driving me crazy worrying out loud about Mr. Mushu. If you remember, he and Mr. Nelson do not get along, and Mr. Mushu hasn't run into very many dogs who do not like him. He doesn't seem to realize that a huge cat with claws always has the upper hand with a dog the size of Mr. Nelson. Mr. Mushu actually weighs more than Mr. Nelson.

Missy Linda is worried because Mr. Mushu hardly comes out of her bedroom, and then, only to eat and use the litter box. He just lies around back there all day and night. Personally, I don't see the difference in his lying in the bedroom or lying in some other room. Mr. Mushu has never been what one would call an "active" cat. That's why he weighs more than Mr. Nelson!

If Missy Linda spent half as much of her time and effort working on things rather than feeling guilty and worried, she might get some things done once in a while. I'm just sayin'.

Mr. Nelson is in the Doghouse!

Greetings most humans and many others,

Let me just say that I love Mr. Nelson, and I enjoy watching his antics from my vantage point, but I get sick and tired of the way that Missy Linda and Tio Kane fawn over him all the time. I must admit that I don't feel guilty for enjoying it when he gets into a little trouble.

When Missy Linda brought in some planters the other night when it got cold, she didn't pay any attention to what other things were in the pots. Well, there were some big ol' pine cones that the girls had picked up when they went on walks. Mr. Nelson thought that they were quite crunchy and fun to chew into little pieces!

Late in the evening of the freeze, Tio Kane did not see Mr. Nelson sleeping in any of his usual places. When he heard crunching noises, he went to investigate, and there was Mr. Nelson in the living room gnawing and munching on several huge pine cones. He had totally masticated them down to the core just like the squirrels do. One problem, other than the huge mess he made, is that there are sharp thorns on the ends of each "petal" that could injure his mouth, and of course, there is a danger of his choking. Missy Linda has told me about a dog she used to have named Sugar, who had to be rushed to the vet several times because of sticks and other various objects lodged in her throat. I don't believe that Mr. Nelson got punished at all for being so naughty. That's the part that burns my buns!

Then, yesterday, when Missy Linda got home from work, she accidentally fell asleep on the couch for about an hour. When she awakened, she didn't see Mr. Nelson anywhere in the yard, so, of course, she started calling him. There was no Mr. Nelson anywhere, and there was no barking to answer her calls! When she went to investigate, there was a hole under the fence, and there he was just prancing around on the back side of the fence as if he was supposed to be there! Missy Linda was annoyed because he had worried her and because, if he starts digging out of the yard, she won't be able to trust him when she is gone from the house! He is going to get grounded if he's not careful! Now, that I would enjoy!

The Auction

Greetings most humans and many others,

I heard on the news that there is an auction today selling Bernie and Ruth Madoff's stuff. Can you hardly believe it? That is the kind of jewelry and doodads and things that I would be interested in having.

I can just hear Missy Linda now if I were to say anything about it!

"What? Are you a crazy Styrofoam tortilla keeper person? You know I have a minimum wage job, and you are lucky you even get to live here! I probably could not even afford the catalog for the auction! And what would you do with expensive things like that? You don't even have a use for them."

To that, I would say, "Whose fault is it that I never get to go any place or do anything?"

I'm not sure what would happen after that because I've never pushed anything that far. I should probably be a little careful since Monday is trash day. I don't want to be the topping on the trash can!

Now He's Gone

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, I must report that Mr. Sunflower is gone. It looks somewhat like a crime scene on a CSI show.

The other day when we awakened, his stalk was broken from where he had been rooted. His stalk was hanging off the ground because his neck was caught between the slats of the wooden fence with his huge head on the other side of the fence. His leaves were stripped!

Missy Linda can't solve the mystery of whether it was squirrels, or maybe, raccoons. She doubts that a squirrel could have pulled the huge head through the fence like that. However, some of those squirrels look pretty pumped. It did happen either at night or early enough in the morning for Missy Linda to see it when she arose. (It would not be hard to be that early these days!) Missy Linda has trouble winding down after she works the night shift, so because she is awake late, she doesn't get up too early nowadays.

Who do you all think murdered Mr. Sunflower?

Emo Sunflower

Good morning most humans and many others,

Since I sit here a look out the window a lot, I have been watching a sunflower that came up right by the back fence in the yard. This is one of those kind that have the huge center that are grown for the seeds. I think it probably was born of the bird seed that gets strewn all over the back yard.

Even though the sunflowers that grow from the bird seeds are usually little short ones with small flowers, this one was huge and beautiful. Tio Kane and Missy Linda called it "Emo Sunflower" because it never turned its head toward the sun. It just stood there looking down the whole time.

Sometimes in the past, there would be kind of a whole patch of little sunflowers around the bird feeder, and those would follow the sun all day, every day. It was an entertaining phenomenon to watch (if you don't have any more of a life than I do these days!)
As you can see, this is one sad-looking sunflower. Missy Linda's friend Alicia says that maybe it is not emo, but just sad and disappointed with its life. I don't know. What do you think?

On a lighter note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MISSY BARB! (Her age is not anywhere close to Amelia's age even though their birthdays are two days apart!)

Lying Low

Hello most humans and many others,

Here I am lying low today---again. Actually, I probably spend more days trying to stay clear of Missy Linda than I do trying to be with her. Today is probably going to be one cranky day for her so I am going to do my best to stay away from her.

She hates it when she works the evening shift at work and then has to work the first thing next morning. That is what has happened today. She did not get to sleep until way after midnight last night because it takes a while for her to get to sleep after working at night. She says her legs ache, poor baby! Anyway, now she is up early because she has to get to work this morning, and they are opening earlier right now for holiday hours. She is going to be one big ol' b-word when she gets home today!

I'll talk to you guys again as soon as it is safe to come out into the open, OK?

Too Fast

Hello most humans and many others,

Wow! Here it is already November! Missy Linda is all in a dither because she says nothing makes her feel farther behind than the first of a new month. On Thursday, it will be Missy Amelia's fourth birthday! Missy Linda is sad that all her girls are growing up so fast. Missy Emma is already two, and she is the youngest one. Missy Linda was hoping for more little girls, but that is probably not going to happen. She will just enjoy the ones she has. After all, not everyone gets that many sweet girls in her life.

Customers in the fabric store where Missy Linda works are buying fabrics for Christmas gifts and decorations. That is another thing that makes Missy Linda realize how far behind she is in other areas of her life. She had better figure out a way to better organize her time and energy. I am sure that I could help her with that if she would just allow me. She just thinks that because I can't walk around and because I am inanimate, I don't know anything. Well, I could show her a thing or two, and one of these days I will do just that!

Loving Halloween

Hello most humans and many others,

How was your Halloween? We have fewer children than we used to have on this street. Missy Linda says when they first moved to this neighborhood, there was a steady stream of kids all evening long. Either all the kids have grown too old, or they go do other things. There seem to be lots of parties and things.

Missy Linda says that she wonders if parents realize that most of those stories about razor blades in apples and poison in candy are actually urban legends. Supposedly the only kids who were really poisoned on Halloween were sickened by their own father.

As it turns out, Mr. Nelson loves Halloween! He did not bark at all, and after a while, he got the courage to come to the door. A couple of minutes after that, he started trying to follow the little goblins and princesses. He became upset when he had to come back into the house because he really loved the kids. Maybe he can go trick or treating with Missy Ryley and Missy Emma next year.

Same Ol', Same Ol'

Good morning most humans and many others,

Well, here it is the day before Halloween, and I see no particular signs that we are doing anything special. I guess we will hand out candy, but I don't see the preparations for a party or anything. I remember that last year I had a really great Halloween, but I am trying to keep my excitement in check this year since things around here have deteriorated in the fun department.

I hear that Tio Kane has a party to go to tonight. I know that Missy Linda works today and tomorrow, but I think we should do something after she gets home from work- - -something fun for me!

Missy Linda tells me that today is Pseudo Uncle's birthday. I think it is one of those milestone birthdays- - -maybe a hundred or something. If that is the case, then an extremely Happy Birthday to Pseudo Uncle! May he live a hundred more years, right? (He does look pretty good for a hundred years old!)

An Incident

Greetings most humans and many others,

I have yet another happening to report about Missy Linda that just shows how dangerously she can act toward herself and others. I am glad I was in the dining room yesterday morning!

In her great wisdom, Missy Linda has decided that Mr. Mushu is depressed because Mr. Nelson has come to live here. When she does some research about this situation, she learns that she has approached the problem of their getting along in exactly the wrong manner. Cats, she learns, are territorial while dogs go by social order. She realizes she introduced the two in the worst way possible to facilitate their getting along with each other- - -of course, she did!

Mr. Mushu stays on the bedroom side of the house, and Mr. Nelson stays on the kitchen/living room side of the house. They watch for each other, and never want to have any more confrontations after the first one that involved Mr. Mushu's giving Mr. Nelson a good whack across the face.

Well, Missy Linda has a few minutes to kill before going to work yesterday morning so she decides to start working on the problem with the enemies. Great idea! Only one person to control two pets with very limited time available. What could possibly go wrong?

Let me just say that Missy Linda has a couple of deep scratches on her face along with several smaller ones on her hands. (Facial wounds seems to bleed a lot in humans!) She got the bleeding stopped and cauterized well enough for work, but they are still pretty obvious.

You can certainly see why I worry about my well-being with her in charge of me, can't you? What in the world am I going to do with her?

Up and At 'Em

Good morning most humans and many others,

Well, I figured I might as well talk to you guys as just sit in there awake doing nothing. Missy Linda is up early today, and she is making enough noise to keep the neighbors awake. She is trying to get some things done before she goes to work this morning. If keeping me from getting my beauty sleep is on her list, she is getting it done!

She is not keeping Mr. Nelson awake though. He is fast asleep in Tio Kane's chair. He did kind of wander into the kitchen when Missy Linda was making her coffee to see if something urgent was happening. Then he sort of collapsed onto the floor with a big yawn. Now, he is back in one of his favorite sleeping places. Chasing squirrels is an exhausting job. (I don't know why Missy Linda doesn't make him sleep in his own bed!)

Well, I am going to try to get back to sleep if Missy Linda can keep it down to a low roar. I'll talk to you guys at a more decent hour, OK?

Turkeys

Greetings most humans and many others,

As you are probably aware, it is that time of year when our minds turn to turkeys. Some of you humans really love to eat turkeys at Thanksgiving and even other times of the year. There is the traditional roasted turkey, the smoked turkey and the deep-fried turkey. This last version of turkey goodness is not for the untrained deep-frying chef. Missy Linda's neighbor, a retired fire fighter, burned down his home in pursuit of the crispiest crustiest outside and most moist, most tender inside ever. In my personal opinion, that is not a reasonable risk/reward ratio.

There are some of you weird humans who even like to shove one kind of fowl inside other types of fowl. I don't have a clue how this came into being, but it is becoming more popular, evidently. It is the increasingly desirous turduken. This is a chicken stuffed into a duck which is then crammed into a turkey. There are other forms of this with other animals involved, also. I cannot even conceive of opening that can of worms in this genteel musing.

Missy Linda is beginning to get obsessed with yet another type of turkey. She calls it "turkey neck," and she yells periodically that she is getting it! She seems to be quite unhappy about this phenomenon. Personally, I have no understanding about why she feels it necessary to have a fit about something like this. Of course, I don't have those types of human problems. All I know is that I am forced to deal with one more crazy thing that affects Missy Linda! Lord, please help me, is all I can think of to say.

Rack Monster

Greetings most humans and many others,

Here is a cute picture from the slumber party that we had when the girls were over last week. I think that Missy Maitlyn will be surprised to see that Mr. Nelson was sleeping on her legs. I think that she will be all right with it though. She likes him the best of any dog she knows, which means she can tolerate him. She did actually pet him a few times, and she held the leash on a walk. That is real progress for her.

I am not in the picture because I don't lie down to sleep. I was afraid I might get crushed, and I have enough physical disabilities as it is, don't you agree?

In the picture are Missy Maitlyn, Mr. Nelson, Missy Amelia and Missy Ryley. Missy Elspeth has wiggled out of camera range. Everyone had a fabulous time!

Make-up Work

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, Missy Linda is at least up at a decent time this morning. She kind of slept in yesterday morning, and she took an hour nap yesterday afternoon. Then she even went to sleep before The Daily Show was very far along. She said she was tired from working more hours this week, and then Missy Ryley and Missy Emma came home with her on Wednesday after work. That would not have been too tiring except Missy Ryley insisted on taking Mr. Nelson for a very long walk. By the time Missy Linda took the girls home about 7:30, her legs had had it, she said.

The problem with zoning out yesterday is that now Missy Linda has two days of work to get done in one day today. She has some things that have a definite deadline so she had better keep her nose to the grindstone today. I am wondering if she will ever be able to be organized. I am guessing, no!

As you know, I am the equivalent of the fly on the wall around here, so I can tell you the real truth about what happens, right? I can assure you that my version of most events would be somewhat different from Missy Linda's version. Know what I mean?

Waiting

Greetings most humans and many others,

I am just typing this while Missy Linda is getting ready to leave for work so that I can be on the internet after she leaves. She probably will not notice that I am here at the computer because she is always in a hurry to get out the door so she won't be late. There are definite traffic problems at certain times of the day that she has not completely mastered yet.

Anyway, just read this knowing that I am just killing time because the second that front door closes behind her, I am on the internet shopping. She inadvertently left her debit card number lying here by the computer where she was paying bills earlier.

OK! There she goes. . .and the car is starting. . .and I am on to shopping. So long 'til until another time.

Quiet . . .Overrated?

Hi there most humans and many others,

Well, it is pretty quiet around here since late Saturday afternoon when the girls left. As usual, Missy Linda felt that they did not get to stay long enough. She says that her job has either given her more stamina, or the girls are just less work as they are getting older. She feels that she wasn't nearly as tired this time(even with the sleepover)- - -which usually is just something that is going to happen one way or the other.

It is back to the usual routine now. Missy Linda had to work yesterday- - -the women who always work on Sunday call themselves the "Sunday Girls." (Isn't that clever?) She will probably be must more frazzled this week than last week because she is working many more hours than usual this week. She also has Halloween costumes to make by Sunday. She says one reason that she gets more tired at work than taking care of "the girls" is that it is much less fun working.

Well, I have to go. I am a little "down" these last few days. Missy Emma said that she does not like me. It is because of all the Halloween displays in the stores and things like that, but I just count on all the girls' loving me all the time. I must say that my "feelings" are hurt a little. I hope she recovers soon.

Sleepover

Greetings most humans and many others,

Well, here it is early (!) Friday morning. Missy Linda got called in to work today so it was quiet around here for a while until the tiny divas and Missy Linda and Missy Lesley all came barreling in around four this afternoon. Now everything is quiet because Missy Maitlyn, Missy Elspeth, Missy Ryley, Missy Amelia and Mr. Nelson are all asleep on the family room floor, and Missy Linda is on the couch. They stayed awake until midnight (everyone except Missy Amelia and Mr. Nelson).

They are sleeping in there because they are having a slumber party, but they haven't been doing much slumbering! Again, here is one of those things I do not understand - - - It's a slumber party or a sleepover, but no one sleeps very much. You humans are too weird for me!

But, hey, at least this time I got to come to the party. Missy Emma was here earlier, but she had to go home. She said she did not like me, so it's just as well that she left. There was a lot of loud playing and things like that early in the party, but things got quieter after a while. Mr. Nelson seems to be enjoying having the girls sleep on the floor with him.

Well, I had better go try to get a little sleep while the girls are quiet. Who knows how long that will last, right?

Grocery List

Good morning most humans and many others,

Well, Missy Linda needs to get busy today to get the house cleaned and ready for Missy Maitlyn, Missy Elspeth and Missy Amelia. They will be here tomorrow afternoon, and she has to work this evening. One big job is that she needs to get to the grocery store for some major "kids in the house" shopping.

Some of the main things needed for kids are not necessarily the main things needed for adults. Here are a few of the most important things:

Toilet Tissue-lots and lots---because if enough is good, way too much is better.
Little paper cups---because little girls need an inordinate amount of water from these little cups that come from the dispenser in the bathroom.
Bubble bath---because, well, just because.
Ketchup---because nearly everything goes better with ketchup (evidently).
Popcorn chicken---because that is the staple of the the diet at Grammy's house when kids are here.
Chewing gum---because everyone loves fruit flavored gum.
"Fruitinacup"---(all one word when spoken by the girls)---because fruit tastes better if it is in a plastic cup that increases its cost exponentially.
Flavored water---because how could kids be expected to drink water from the faucet at Grammy's house? She doesn't even have the ice and water in the door of her fridge.

I think those are the most important things that we need for the visit. Too bad I don't have legs or I could help Missy Linda by shopping for her! Right?

The Rain has Begun

Greetings most humans and many others,

Missy Linda says that the weather people are saying that it will rain on and off for a lot of the coming week. Just what we would like when we are having a bunch of little girls at the house! They like to ride their bikes here because we have sidewalks, and Missy Linda lives on a cul-de-sac which has very little traffic. It makes a pretty safe place to play. Everybody gets tired of being cooped up all the time, even at Grammy's house. Girls can color only so long!

I guess we will just have to see what develops- - -whether it is mold or outdoor fun!

Firmly Rooted

Greetings most humans and many others,

Well, I believe that I have become firmly rooted on the buffet in the dining room- - -No, really! I am wondering if I haven't just sprouted roots that keep me there. I haven't been moved for so long, there must be something going on like that!

Missy Linda is not interested in anything anymore except going to work and then collapsing when she gets home. Well, she had better get herself into gear because Missy Maitlyn, Missy Elspeth and Missy Amelia will be coming Tuesday through Saturday to stay here. Their parents are going to Colorado to look at towns to see where they want to move. Missy Linda thinks it will be Fort Collins, which is the farthest away.

Missy Linda did get it arranged so that she will have to work only one day while they are here, but she still is a tired old lady sometimes. Also, she will work every day until they get here, so she will be wrung out completely when they arrive. Poor, OLD Missy Linda!

Are You Chomping at the Bit?

Hi there most humans and some others,

I didn't realize that I totally missed a whole day yesterday. I think I just tuned out so well to keep from hearing Missy Linda complain about her feet aching that I went a little too deep into the zone. Anyway, she seems to think that there should be some explanation as to why her feet hurt on the tops (she calls it her instep) all of a sudden. She says that this is the first time her feet have actually hurt very much since she started working, but she can't figure out why they hurt on the tops. Then she begins whining about how she wears the same shoes she has always worn to work there . . . That's when I slipped off to la-la land in my mind.

What I was actually wondering was if you are dying to know what "dog taters" and "potate-hose" are? Or are you like me, and just know it is something stupid since Missy Linda is involved? Anyway, these are the names of some toys with treats that Missy Linda makes for Mr. Nelson. She calls them "dog taters," and Tio Kane calls them "potate-hose." Adorable, right? (gagging sound in the background)

Anyway, you know from my descriptions that Missy Linda is not the richest woman in the world, right? Well, there is a hole (or several holes) in one (or two) of the big easy chairs in the family room from which Mr. Nelson enjoys pulling out the stuffing. He doesn't make any new holes or anything. He just works with what is right in front of him. Since he enjoys the fluffy filling so much, (he doesn't eat it, just pulls it) Missy Linda makes him toys from pieces of old pantyhose stuffed with fiberfill and knotted on each end. In the middle of the stuffing she puts treats.

Of course, this makes a mess when Mr. Nelson must rip open the orbs to get to the treat, but Missy Linda doesn't seem to mind cleaning up a mess of his! She says that these keep Mr. Nelson busy longer than the toys at the store that are made to have treats hidden in them. She says he needs to have things to keep him busy when she is not here so he won't be too lonely. I really hope that she doesn't cause me to start resenting sweet Mr. Nelson!

Mr. Nelson Walks Himself

Hi there most humans and others,

Well, it seems Mr. Nelson is quite capable of taking himself for a walk when Missy Linda doesn't get it done. A couple of days ago, Missy Linda found him waiting to be let in at the front door. She found a place at the gate where he had been able to get out of the back yard. She thought she got it taken care of so that Mr. Nelson could not get out any more. Obviously not.

Yesterday morning when Missy Linda was pulling the car out of the driveway, here comes Mr. Nelson, bouncing up the driveway, just as happy as could be. Missy Linda is not afraid that he will run away too far or anything, but he could get hurt or something. He knows our part of the neighborhood very well since that is where he takes his walks. One of the routes that Missy Linda and he take is only a half block from the main road from which one turns into the neighborhood. He probably wouldn't go out there because he does not like fast cars or noises, but you never really know for sure.

Missy Linda promptly took Mr. Nelson into the house, where she gathered up some supplies. Then the two of them went out back and nailed some plastic garden fence across the gate that is broken. There is a gate on the other side of the yard anyway, and a person could step over the plastic fence anyway.

I think that Mr. Nelson is a little sad because now when Missy Linda doesn't take him for his walk, he can't go on his own. He will just have to stay in the yard and play with his "dog taters" or "potate-hose". (I'll explain later.)

Asleep at the Wheel

Hello there most humans and others,

Did you think something happened to me? Well, I guess that is the problem. Nothing has happened to me lately---good, bad or indifferent! Missy Linda goes about her life, and Tio Kane goes about his life, and I sit on the buffet in the dining room.

Missy Linda is always whining about how tired she is from her job. Boo, hoo! Tio Kane doesn't say anything but just goes about his routine. It seems that no one does anything exciting or even mildly interesting or entertaining. I did hear something about Missy Ryley and Missy Emma coming over tomorrow for some work on a Halloween costume and a walk with Mr. Nelson, but that is about it from here.

I am beginning to wonder if it's possible for me to sprout roots and grow permanently into this buffet! That would be all I need, right?----to be less able to get around!

Jon and Stephen Are Back

Greetings most humans and others,

Well, it doesn't mean much to me, but Missy Linda seems to stay on an even keel better when she can see The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and, a little less important to her, The Colbert Report. When she works in the evenings, which is the case most of the time except Saturdays and Sundays, she has trouble relaxing enough to fall asleep. Usually, her legs are achy and sometimes her back is sore. It does her (and therefore those of us who must live with her) a world of good to have these shows to help her relax.

She nearly went into some kind of a funk when she heard them say that they would both be off the air for three weeks. I think that her life is so sad that she probably thinks of them as her friends. I know that she counts on funny things to help her keep a positive attitude, and she has had a little trouble doing that lately.

Missy Linda says that there are not that many funny things that happen in a fabric store in general. At least, not as many humorous things as at college. Tio Kane has a fellow student in one of his classes who wears various pajama pants to class (like in a Lucky Charms print), but he also always wears a fedora. Missy Linda says, "See, now that is entertaining, and it definitely lightens the mood."

So far, no one has come into the fabric store dressed in anything that quirky, although, she did mention that some lady bought yellow crushed velvet and white fur to make a Santa Claus costume. She says, "That's not funny. That's just weird!"

Starting Over

Hey soggy humans and most others,

Well, I think that Missy Linda's yard is going to be about waist high by the time that it gets dry enough to mow. I don't know about her, but that is embarrassing to me! No wonder I don't have a life. . .I am sure that others judge me by the way her yard looks since I live here. The young man who mows her yard is in high school, and he does some other jobs as well, like umpiring baseball which is in its fall season in middle America. He is free only a short time each weekend, and it looks like those might be soggy for awhile. Missy Linda calls it a "Catch 22" when I mention to her that when it is too wet for baseball, he should have more free time. I am not sure exactly what she means. I think she is ridicible!

Also, it appears that Missy Linda is going to be starting from the beginning with her "calm, submissive" dog psychology. Mr. Nelson has clearly become the pack leader around here since she has started to work. When he wants to play the minute she gets home from work, she plays with him. When he bolts out the front door, she follows a long way behind. When he wants to go down a certain block on their walks, they go down that block.

Yesterday, it was hilarious around here before Missy Linda had to be at work. Mr. Nelson would come inside after getting sopping wet in the rain with mud up to his chest. He would bolt past Missy Linda at the door, and she would chase him all around the den with a towel so she could dry him somewhat. He loved it! It was the best games of chase he had had in a long time! Mr. Nelson---4, Missy Linda---0!

Not My Fault This Time

Hello there most humans and others,

Well, at least when Missy Linda did something bad this weekend, it is crystal clear that I could not have had anything to do with it at all. There's just no doubt about who did it so she can't yell at anyone but herself. Even Nelson couldn't have accidentally done this.

It seems that as Missy Linda was leaving for work on Monday, she noticed that her Blessed Basil was all wilty and thirsty. She stepped over to the faucet and grabbed the hose and watered the plants enough to make it through the day. Well, I don't know if you all know this, but Missy Linda has a few problems with directional issues - - - like left and right, counter-clockwise, that sort of thing. She doesn't generally have trouble with on and off, though.

As soon as she was on her block on her way home from work, she could tell what she had done. Water was running down the gutter to the storm drain, and it was coming from her house! When she had watered that morning, she had accidentally turned the water on full blast rather than turning it off. She had tossed the end of the hose into a flower bed out of the way so she had not seen or heard the water running. Also, she was in a hurry and was dreading a very busy day at work. She is just hoping it doesn't cost more than a couple hundred dollars for all that water- - -not that she has that much, but it would be better than if it costs more, right?

All I have to say is, "Wouldn't it have been better to just give me that money for shopping on the internet rather than wasting it like that?"

No Worries About Fashion

Greetings most humans and others,

Well, I don't know if Missy Linda would agree with my assessment of the situation, but I see a good thing about her new job that perhaps she hasn't counted on the plus side (judging from certain remarks I have heard from her.) Since she has to wear the requisite shirts provided by the fabric store and must wear black or khaki pants or skirts every day, it should nearly extinguish her need for any new clothes- - -except maybe some new orthopedic-type shoes. And, because she is working five days a week (although not many hours some days), she should be set for quite a while.

Sadly, the company provides only one black shirt and one lavender shirt for each employee. If she wants any more, she would have to purchase them. I think she would wear them until they are literally worn through the fabric, much like her cut-offs, which were worn out before she made them into shorts. She is never going to spend her hard earned wages for shirts that have a company logo!

Missy Linda says that she wouldn't mind the shirts so much if they weren't so hot. She has widespread agreement on that fact among the other employees. She says that she starts "glistening" the moment she puts on one of the shirts. That means that to be civilized about the whole situation, she must wash her shirt every night. "That's what will wear out the shirts too fast," she moans.

Poor baby! Maybe Santa could bring her some new shirts for Christmas - - -if she would stop complaining for a few minutes!!!

Tired of Being Inanimate

Dear most humans and others,

I still have not figured out how to get things done without the help of Missy Linda or some other person. I am weary of not being able to do anything or go anywhere without them. For example, just because Missy Linda is too tired or something hurts when she gets home from work or if she is too tired and stiff when she gets up in the morning, I have to pay the price by not being able to do anything! I am sick of it!

I can guarantee all of you that I have never had anything to do with causing her crickety old body to fall apart, nor have I caused her to have colds, flu, sore throats or any other sicknesses. I am innocent of causing any of her problems- - -except for a few of the credit card bills. But, really, doesn't she owe me that much? This whole situation is ridicible!

I believe I will write a letter to Dr. Stephen Hawking to see what kind of magical computerized machines he has that allow him to stay alive and talk and do his work! I'll bet he will not be able to resist a beautiful woman like I am, right? After all, he has had several very beautiful wives since becoming ill, so he must have some secrets to share.

Dodging a Bullet

Greetings most humans and others,

Oh my goodness! Mr. Nelson does not know how close he came to disaster last night! Actually, it's probably Missy Linda who really gained the most from dodging this bullet.

It is a dark and cloudy night. Missy Linda has just returned home from work at about 10:00 pm. All of a sudden, Mr. Nelson sees something out the window of the family room. He is going berserk and using his "big boy" bark. Missy Linda thinks that he is just seeing his reflection in the window- - -so she stupidly opens the back door. Out he bolts, full speed ahead!

Just as Mr. Nelson gets close to the intruder, Missy Linda sees what it is, and what it is strikes terror in her heart! She starts to yell at Mr. Nelson to come back, but it is too late. He is right next to the interloper, which just happens to be a skunk with bushy tail up and waving! Missy Linda freaks and starts yelling again, but then she realizes what time of night it is, and screams in a softer voice (like that is possible!).

Suddenly she realizes that if the skunk had sprayed, she should be smelling it by now. Glory be! There is no odor. Mr. Nelson (and Missy Linda, by association) has avoided the horrific emergency of skunk spray!

That is Missy Linda's Miracle of the Week!

No Little Girls for Us

Hi there most humans and others,

I am about to go crazy along with Missy Linda these days - - - because she is driving the speeding bus of innocent bystanders that is about to careen off the cliff into the river of crazy! I am about ready to start taking notes on those crime shows she watches so when I get all I can take of her, I will know what to do! Anybody with me out there?

She is distraught because she has to work this weekend. Of course, she is happy to have the job, and it is doing absolutely fabulous things for her bank balance, but she wishes that she could have Missy Ryley and Missy Emma over for the weekend like they all originally planned. Mr. Nick and Missy Lesley are going out of town, and Missy Linda was going to have the girls over for the weekend, but now she can't because of work. She knew she wouldn't be able to keep them a while ago, but now the weekend is almost here, and she is all tragic about it.

I wanted the girls to come over as much as she did! What about my disappointment? Those girls love to play with me, and Missy Ryley has quite a fashion sense! And what about Nelson? He and Missy Ryley have really hit it off. Now they won't get to play either! When will Missy Linda learn that she is not the only being in the world with feelings of disappointment?

What's All the Fuss?

Hello most humans and others,

I have been hearing so much about the year 1969 lately. What is the deal? That seems like a long time ago to be worrying about it now, don't you think? Missy Linda, of course, talks about the personal side of that year when she graduated high school and got married a week later. She feels that is not a good idea for anyone, and it certainly catapulted her life in a direction that she had not intended nor imagined. I think that she secretly wished that she could be a civilly disobedient protester, but she just was not mature enough at that point in her life to buck authority. If there was anything that Missy Linda was taught at home, it was that girls do not defy authority figures.

I have heard her telling Tio Kane stories about watching scenes of the Vietnam War on the news every night and seeing the civil rights protests with the police dogs and the high-powered water hoses. She was not at Woodstock, and she was not the type of person to withstand manure and mud with no food or showers to hear music, no matter what the social significance. I do know where she was when Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, but I don't really understand why that is such a big deal.

You people still mystify me!

How Does She Know?

Hi there most humans and others,

First let me warn you that this may stop right in the middle of a sentence because if Missy Linda catches me at the computer, I am in big trouble! (so she says!) She has discovered that I have been shopping while she is at work. I have not figured out how she knows these things, but I obviously have some human research to do.

Anyway, here it is Saturday, and she will be at work all day. I am totally bummed out! I am tired of being forced to live within her means! Why do I have to suffer just because she has a teenager's part time job? I think I should investigate how to become one of those rich girls on a reality show who are famous and wealthy for nothing at all! What do you all think about that? Oops! Here she comes. . .I'll

Blessed Basil

Hello there most humans and others,

As most of you are aware, Missy Linda has been whining about her run of bad luck lately. Personally, I would say she is kvetching about the consequences of running her life off into a ditch, but, I digress. Anyway, she ran across some seeds that she had purchased at the St. Elijah Food Festival sometime in the past years.

St. Elijah's is an Eastern Orthodox church not far from where Missy Linda lives. Every fall they have this festival that earns them money hand over fist. The homeland of many of the members or their forebears is Lebanon. Tio Kane and Missy Linda enjoy going to different food festivals to sample different ethnic foods without having to make a commitment of money, time and effort to try them at home. They have been to the Greek Festival at a church near St. Elijah's, too. (Greek food - - - too much goat cheese!!!) They enjoy shopping at the Asian markets in the Asian district of OKC when they have time.

Back to the basil - - - Missy Linda purchased the basil seeds, which had been blessed by a clergyman at the church. You know how weird she is sometimes! Anyway, when she ran across the seeds recently in the cabinet, she decided to see if they would still grow after a few years . They did! Maybe there is something to this! She has just cut the first batch and seasoned her pasta that she ate the other day. Stand by to find out if the "Blessed Basil" has any effect on her pitiful life. I'll keep you updated, OK?

None of Those Here

Hi there most humans and others,

Well, I have some good news from our house! Can you even imagine? As you may know, we have been having a run of less than stellar luck lately. There is a plague going around the world that we do not have at our house, and, furthermore, we will not have at our house unless someone new moves here! Have you heard of the new scourge? It is called cankles!

That is when your ankles are not well-defined. For instance, when your ankle bones are not visible, that would be cankles. This unfortunate curse means that you are not able to wear the cute new ankle-strap shoes that are all the rage. It could mean other things as well, but I will just let you imagine some of those.

Now, some of you may be thinking, Juana does not even have feet! What in the world is she so happy about? Well, you see, I may not have feet, but I definitely do not have cankles! That is an important item to be on my list of attributes since my main talent is being beautiful. It also gives Missy Linda that one little thing that she can hold onto on a bad day. You know that she does not have many things going her way sometimes. Let's just let her grasp onto any little ray of hope that she can, OK?

That Was Not Exciting!

Hello most humans and others,

Missy Linda got a message from the Feds that she need not continue checking to find out if she must report for jury duty. They will contact her if they need her. She is relieved, but her experience was rather lacking as far as material for her to use, any excitement or meeting any fascinating people. It was pretty much a wash, she says.

I personally feel that she should be happy that she didn't get mixed up in more excitement than she would really want. You know, like being on the jury of some huge famous trial or some mobster or someone like that. I think she should count herself fortunate. She's probably just cranky because she is tired. She had to work late last night because they were so busy at the store yesterday, and a couple of people did not show up for work. She will feel better after she gets off work tonight, I'm sure. (!)

Off To Work She Goes!

Hi there most humans and others,

Well, Missy Linda is just about ready to leave for work, and I am making my internet shopping plans for the afternoon! Can you think of a better hot, August, Sunday afternoon activity than to curl up with a credit card and the internet shopping world? I know for sure that I can't!

Missy Linda will come home so exhausted that she won't realize what's going on for awhile, so that gives me some time to get things ordered. Well, wish me luck!

Freaky Friday?

Hi there most humans and others,

Well, I guess (hope) you've been wondering why I am not communicating much lately. Things seems kind of strange around here right now. Also, Tio Kane has been using the computer a lot, and I haven't been allowed to get my turn. He has been getting all his financial aid and enrolling and everything taken care of at UCO this past week and the week before. That's right. Now Tio Kane is going to college, and Missy Linda is not. That's why I was wondering if I am in a Freaky Friday-type movie- - -that's where the mother and daughter change bodies and lives. Things around here seem a little backwards right now. But, then again, I have to wonder if things around here ever were very "normal" anyway!

You know how the least little thing gets Missy Linda's panties all in a bunch! Well, she is having a little trouble adjusting to not being a student. A couple of times, friends of hers from classes she took, have come into the fabric store where she works. That makes her kind of homesick for school more than usual. She does keep up with what some friends are doing through Facebook, but it's not the same, she says. I guess she will get on the ball and try to make lots of dough this fall so this won't happen to her again, huh? She does wish that she could work more hours, but the company has rules about that! Some of you probably know how that goes, right?

No Excitement Today

Hello most humans and others,

Well, Missy Linda did not get chosen for a jury today. Unless something changes, she is to report tomorrow. She has decided that she doesn't mind it too much now that she knows the routine. It is nice and cool in the court room, at least. She says that can not be said about work.

I thought I would be helpful to those of you who might need to hire an attorney for some kind of a trial. I feel if you discover that your attorney is trying to learn how to choose a jury from the internet, you might consider other options.* I just thought that was a very unusual ad on my page. I think that I would be more likely to let Missy Ryley cut my hair than to use an attorney who is learning his/her stuff from videos purchased on the internet! Perhaps I am wrong, but I really don't think so.

Hey! I wonder if Missy Linda could get me through security so that I could go with her tomorrow to witness justice in action. I watch a lot of court shows on television, and it looks pretty exciting. Surely Missy Linda is wrong when she talks about how boring it really is, right?



*This is not to be construed as legal advice of any type. It is merely an observation.

Oh, Fabulous! Black Shirts!

Hello most humans and others,

Oh, my goodness! Missy Linda is having a fit! When she went to work yesterday, it was announced that there would be new black shirts to wear for work! No one is happy, she says. Black is not one of her colors, she says. Black absorbs heat, she says. The fabric is heavy cotton, she says. It makes her perspire, she says. (That is not exactly the way that she said that!) They will have to wear only khaki colored pants, she says. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

She also has her panties in a bunch that only the manager and assistant manager are allowed to be full time. She had hoped to get to be full time soon. To that I say to her, "Put on your big girl panties and deal with it!" And, "Don't forget to leave your credit card here so that I can shop!" That pretty much sums up how I feel about the whole thing!

Happy Anniversary to Missy Elise and Mr. Brett!

Mr. Nelson Earns His Keep

Greetings most humans and others,

Missy Linda was just mentioning that she has just realized that she has not had to buy a big bag of bird seed since Nelson came to live here. She said that she will need to buy some soon, but since he is so good at keeping the squirrels from eating it, he has saved her as much as he cost. She says that you can't beat that with a stick. He's cute, he's cuddly, he's smart and he practically earns money! Now if he can just be my date and take me out places, he will earn my undying gratitude!

Missy Linda found out that she doesn't have to report for jury duty again until Monday. That's okay with her because now she can get some more hours in at work. She says maybe her feet will be put to the test this time working three days in a row, but she might as well get used to it. She has had such an easy ride, she might as well start getting a taste of the life of the people with minimum wage jobs! Right?

Not Chosen

Greetings most humans and others,

Well, Missy Linda did not get chosen to be on a jury yesterday. She did not get so far as to get questioned yet. She will find out later today when she must report again. She would have liked to be on the jury chosen yesterday so that she might be excused after that, but it is not a sure thing to be excused after one trial anyway. She discovered that her duty lasts until September 11. That is going to be annoying to keep running downtown a couple of times a week unless she gets to actually serve. The trial yesterday was a criminal case, but not murder or anything that serious.

Did you know that the judge asks potential jurors if they have any bumper stickers, and, if so, what are they? Do you think Missy Linda should go out and scrape her car down before she goes back? She has only two, and she says she is not going to clean them off just because of that. She felt pretty brave back when she put a political sticker on her car last fall since she is definitely in the minority for Oklahoma. She feels that a sticker for a candidate is not crazy like some of the stickers she sees.

Hey, wait! Perhaps she should go and get some bumper stickers that portray her as the crazy person she really is! After all, one must take an oath to tell the truth to be a juror as well as a witness! That seems like a good plan to me! What do you think?

Hey!
Who else is brave enough to check out this web site for pictures of skin rashes? (see ads) I think that I might do it. After all, Mr. Nick might be on there! He was in some videos for his oral surgeon! I think that is something one would not want to be asked to be in because he must have had some interesting teeth that needed some interesting surgery to be in those videos!

It is About Time!

Hello most humans and others,

Well, we finally have some pretty good news on our home front. Missy Linda finally got a job! I was beginning to think she was completely unemployable! (Don't tell her I said that, ok?) It is just a part time job right now, but she hopes she will get more hours soon. I certainly hope so, too! If I am going to shop on the internet while she is at work, she will have to make more than part time money! She is silly enough to think that she will use the money for school and living expenses! Can you imagine!

The biggest problem is that she has that jury duty starting Monday. She won't get many hours right when she needs to be learning the ropes and maybe when she needs the money the most. The boss is going to try to work around the jury duty, but she has to be available for four to five weeks. That will make it hard for the boss to schedule her any time but the weekend. Oh, well, it is what it is.

Missy Linda said her feet didn't hurt as much as she was afraid they would since her job is at a fabric store, and she stands all day. Her back was very tired at the end of the day, but it is not sore or anything today. She said that everyone must be redecorating because she had to cut fabric from those big old rolls on which decorator fabric comes most of the day. The only thing that hurts today, she said, is her knees---the backs of her knees. I'll bet we will hear the whining about that for a few days, don't you think. I think we all know something that helps knees stop hurting, don't we? (losing weight!) But you didn't hear it from me!

Jury Duty

Hi most humans and others,

I heard Missy Linda say that she has jury duty next week. It is for the Feds. She is nervous, and she really, really hopes that she does not have to go. She believes that she should do her duty, but she is in the middle of job hunting, and school will start soon, and her mind is so scattered these days that you probably wouldn't want her deciding your guilt or innocence. Come to think of it, I wouldn't want her deciding my fate any time, but that's beside the point. I have never personally heard of a jury that would consist of my peers, have you?

She has to check in at 7:30 am. That does not sound like fun to her. She has become accustomed to sleeping until at least 7:00 am. Also, cell phones cannot even be in the building! That will probably hurt others more than Missy Linda, but still, it will be strange.

It seems that Missy Carol is doing well. She went to Missy Barb's house during the day yesterday so Mr. Fred could go to work. I'll bet they had a party. What do you think?

Some Good Things

Hello humans and most others,

Well, Missy Carol is doing great! We are glad for that good news, aren't we? She should be going home today. Not being a human, I don't know much about human medical matters, but I hear that Missy Carol is a miracle woman. Whatever it takes, we are glad for it.

We have not seen the results yet, but I heard, very loudly, that Missy Ryley fancies herself quite the hairdresser! Evidently, she decided that she could give her sister, Missy Emma, a stunning, avant-garde hair cut. She needs a little more training, though, before using scissors, it appears. As I said, we have not seen it yet, but Missy Emma did make an impromptu visit to the "real" salon for re-styling. She probably just looks like most of the other two-year-olds now- - -just what Missy Ryley was trying to avoid!

Well, Missy Linda says she needs the computer for applying for jobs. Bless her heart, she just keeps after it, doesn't she?

Hey! Something Has Gone Wrong Here!

Greetings humans and most others,

I have come to realize that it might be that Mr. Nelson is not the good friend I thought him to be. I am getting the feeling that he is taking my place rather than being a companion. On Saturday, Missy Barb had everyone over for a cookout to visit with Missy Carol and Missy Deanna, and Mr. Nelson got to go, and I DID NOT! I was just unceremoniously left sitting here on the buffet in the dining room (my usual spot).

I believe that I was not even considered as a guest at the cookout because I was not even moved closer to the door so as not to be forgotten or anything along those lines. No one even looked my way or talked about, "Hey, we must not forget to take Juana!" I am not very happy about this! I hope that I will not have to join forces with Mr. Mushu to make Mr. Nelson's life miserable---even though this is technically Missy Linda's fault (of course)!

I would like for everyone to have good thoughts and prayers for Missy Carol today as she has a procedure at St. Anthony's to fix her arteries. We are confident that she will be back to normal in no time! Hang in there, Missy Carol! We love you.

Good Friends

Hello humans and most others,

Here are some pictures of Missy Ryley and Mr. Nelson getting to know each other. Notice that Missy Ryley is all "dressed" and ready to go "out" at a moment's notice.

Cesar Millan says that the best way to get close to a dog is to walk together. These pictures were taken not very long after Missy Ryley and Mr. Nelson got back from their walk together. Missy Ryley was playing blocks and Mr. Nelson came over and started playing with her so she gave him some treats. Mr. Nelson would get a couple of these blocks to play with even before he played with Missy Ryley. He retrieved a couple of them from the container the first day he was here and put them in his bed to sleep with. He is glad to finally know how to build things with them!

I am happy that my new friend Mr. Nelson likes my friend Missy Ryley so that we can all have a good time together. Maybe Missy Ryley and I can dress up Mr. Nelson sometime soon! I think that he would love to walk around the neighborhood with her, both in their best finery, don't you?

Has anyone spotted any of those "green deer" yet?

Not on the Upswing

Greetings humans and most others,

Well, it appears that Mr. Nick has finally gotten enough medicine into himself for the poison ivy outbreak to stop spreading. While he is savvy about what is going to happen to him once the process begins, it is hard to make a doctor who hasn't dealt with him before understand what is going to take place. He finally got a good enough dose on Saturday after he awakened to find that he was breaking out on his back, legs and stomach. It is a bad sign for it to still be spreading after one round of medicine and a week's passing, although it is not unusual for it to keep cropping up after only a week. This is the first time that Missy Lesley has seen a full blown attack because Mr. Nick has learned to be super vigilant when he is outside. Somehow, he missed this batch.

Missy Linda told me, and people can verify this, that when he was a kid, Mr. Nick got it one time just walking from the car to the house without touching anything. It's like Mr. Nick said, "If someone has never had back trouble, depression or bad poison ivy, it is impossible for them to truly understand it." That may be true.

It seems that Missy Linda's job hunt results are not on the upswing either. She had an interview yesterday, but she knows that she won't get that job, she says. They have already interviewed applicants for a whole week, and they have another week's worth to do. She knows that a lot of people in a group that size are going to have better experience than she does. She also knows that she didn't really do a very good job when she was talking to the people. She would love to have that job though. She can hardly even envision a job with free medical insurance after three months! Better luck next time, I suppose. Right?

BTW, have any of you all seen any of these green deer? (See ads.)

Guess What's At New House!

Greetings humans and most others,

I am referring to the new house of Missy Lesley and Mr. Nick, of course. Some of you may be able to guess what was discovered if you know Mr. Nick very well. It is not a tiny village of cute, sweet bunnies to delight Missy Ryley and Missy Emma. It is not a buried treasure chest full of gold coins. It is not a wildcatters dream come true of a somehow previously unknown geologic formation spitting out crude oil. It is not a secret garden of pot---nor even a long-forgotten bucket of tennis balls for Owen and Annie.

It is, however, the nemesis of Mr. Nick that seems to stalk him wherever he goes. It is that horrible, sometimes invisible to the naked eye, noxious devil of a plant that seems to thrive just to get him. Even the government assists in the plot by ordering the discontinuation of the manufacture of the only vaccine that ever helped at all.

Any of you all who know Mr. Nick will know what kind of a festering, oozing, itchy, miserable shell of a person he turns into when he is exposed to poison ivy---for a minimum of a couple of weeks! Fortunately, he has learned to never touch his face when he is outside in any kind of a wooded area so this time it is only on his arms and chest. He has been wearing long-sleeved shirts to work with bandages covering the affected areas so that his shirt won't stick to him.

Even though some doctors have told him that the oozing rash won't affect any place that was not touched by the oil in the plant, his personal experience has taught him otherwise. He has discovered that the bandages also help keep the rash from spreading quite as far as it might have otherwise.

Missy Ryley told him that he looks very brave!

First Camp

Hello there humans and most others,

This week Missy Maitlyn is at her first sleep-over camp. She went yesterday and will be there until Saturday. That seems like a long time for someone as young as she is. I guess I'm not much of a valid judge of things like that since I am an inanimate being, huh?

Missy Linda looked at some pictures that the camp posts on the internet every day, and many of the kids look even younger than Missy Maitlyn. We don't doubt that she will have a great time as I heard that her both her parents would stay gone nearly all summer going to various camps- - -as many as they could sign up for! Perhaps it is in her genes.

The whole family goes "real" camping with just the "Boy Scout" type essentials, so this will seem like a luxury hotel to Missy Maitlyn. Of course, she is one of those girls who loves to do all kinds of projects and things like that so she is all set for fun. Have a fun week, Missy Maitlyn!

Foiled Again!

Greetings humans and most others,

Well, here we go again! Friday, Missy Ryley walked Nelson for more than a half mile around the neighborhood. Missy Emma pushed a stroller with a teddy bear in it right behind them. Missy Linda, after they got home, said, "Oh, Juana, I'm so sorry. Missy Emma could have pushed you in the stroller rather than that teddy bear. I didn't even think of that until now!"

Great! As usual, what good does that do me? She always thinks of me when it is too late to do anything about it. I would like to know what is in that big ol' head of hers. I think it must be a huge mess of something, maybe like a spaghetti squash.

I know! I think I should have a contest, "What Do You Think is Inside Missy Linda's Head?" I am going to get right to work on that. I'll need some posters and some TV commercials and I don't know what else. Oh, and I suppose I will have to come up with some prizes---even though my prize will be to see what really is in there! What do you think about that?

Busy Day

Greetings humans and most others,

Well, today Missy Ryley and Missy Emma are coming over to play because their parents are busy doing paperwork and stuff to move into their new house. They are just moving into another house in town. Thank goodness, they are not moving far away. I wouldn't have any little girls to play with very often if they did that! This is the second day this week that they have come to stay with us because of the move. That's good with me because all the little girls love me.

The only problem is that they are getting to know Nelson, and I am feeling a little left out. By the time they left the other day, he and the girls were good friends. I guess that's all right, as long as I am not left out of the equation, right?

I think that we are going to take Nelson for a walk since it is not blazing hot yet. I am thinking that I could ride in a little wagon that Missy Linda has for the kids to play with. Isn't that a great idea?

Even the Squirrels

Hello there humans and most others,

Well, it is way over a hundred degrees outside our house today. It is so hot that even the squirrels are staying in their homes or have gone on vacation or something. We haven't seen even one so far today, and we saw only a couple the last two days. Nelson is getting very bored because he has now been put in charge of chasing away the squirrels. It gives him a job to do, and it saves Missy Linda lots of money when only birds eat the bird seed.

Nelson is very enthusiastic about his new chore! You know, Shelties are very responsible dogs. He has almost perfected his jumping from where the yard makes a steep slope into the fence. Sometimes he lands with all fours on the fence, and sometimes he lands with two feet on the ground and two on the fence. He patrols the fence and checks up in the trees for a long time to make certain that the perpetrators are gone. He gets very angry when the squirrels chatter at him from up in the trees, and he definitely doesn't like it when they laugh at him! They will get theirs some day.

Missy Linda says she heard the other day that there are millions of flat squirrels out there on the roads who couldn't make up their minds. She tells that to Nelson to help him feel better.

Back to Normal?

Greetings humans and most others,

Well, I am wondering when things around here are going to get back to normal for me! Did you notice that we did not celebrate any holidays this year? I did not get a new dress or even get to wear my old dress (not to mention my fabulous Marie Antoinette wig!!!) for Bastille Day! I did not have a Chinese New Year or Cinco de Mayo party this year nor any other kinds of parties (except for my birthday, which is probably not even real).

If Missy Linda doesn't get herself into gear, we might as well just turn into hermits around here. I am sick to death of her obsession with getting a job, aren't you? I am not sure exactly why she needs a job because no one has ever explained the reasoning to me personally, but I am tired of this whining! She was so happy last Friday because she actually got an interview rather than just sending something by email, but she won't know anything about that job until later this week. If she doesn't get this one, I want to come and visit someone out there for a couple of months, OK?

Good Job

Greetings humans and most others,

I just wanted to show everyone that Missy Maitlyn got her hair cut to send to Locks of Love. She decided a while back that she would wait to cut her hair until it was long enough to send in to this charity. She did it!

This organization makes wigs for sick children who otherwise would have to do without the normalizing feeling of having hair if they have lost their hair due to illness or treatment for an illness. These hand made human hair wigs would be cost prohibitive, especially added to the cost of medical treatment for a child who is seriously ill. I would do it if I could, but my hair is a little too petroleum-based for their needs. Also, my hair doesn't really grow very fast, if at all.

Anyway, good job, Missy Maitlyn.

Enough, Already!

Hello humans and most others,

Well, I am sick to death of hearing about Michael Jackson, are you? I know he was an innovative musician and dancer. I am aware that he integrated MTV. I heard that he found the cure for cancer - - - oops! That's not right! I heard he had a foolproof plan for peace in the mideast. No? OK, let's try this: He was within a week of finding a cure for AIDS. No, again? Well, then I don't really get it, I suppose. I think maybe you people have your priorities all wheee-whaaaed.

You humans could say that I would be naturally jealous of anyone who had feet and legs to dance like he danced, but that is not entirely true. I would love to be able to dance, but I am not jealous of MJ. Who could possibly be jealous of him? As rich as he was, he had money problems. As talented as he was, he seemed very obsessive/compulsive about his work. As inspirational and gifted as he was originally, he destroyed himself. I would not want that for anyone.

Well, anyway, too much about that already. I am just hoping that I don't have to listen to too much more of this after today, are you?

Mr. Nosy

Hello humans and most others,

Well, Mr. Nelson, or Mr. Nosy, as we sometimes call him, is doing well. He is ready to go for his walk every day now. When Missy Linda gets the harness and leash, he waits by the door to have it put on him. He is enjoying getting out and seeing the big world now.

Yesterday morning, Missy Linda left her coffee sitting on a table by her big chair. Well, it wasn't but a minute until she saw Mr. Nelson up there with his pointy little nose right there investigating. It was too hot for him to take a lick, though.

Mr. Nosy will stick right next to Missy Linda when she is working in the yard. That is exactly the kind of companion she likes---someone to be there, but not interfere except in an entertaining way. It seems that Mr. Nosy especially likes to smell and lick the dirt that has been dug or moved around. This encourages Missy Linda to get outside and get a lot more yard work done than she usually does because he makes it fun. They have cleaned out some flower beds and trimmed some trees and even cut down some small trees that were growing in inappropriate places.

Little Mr. Nelson is doing Missy Linda a world of good. She would recommend pets to everyone.

Downs and Ups

Greetings humans and most others,

We have had such a strange few days around here. Thursday night sometime, Missy Carol had a major heart attack in her sleep! She is on vacation in California visiting with her daughter and family. You remember Missy Carol, don't you? She has been in a lot of my party pictures and adventure pictures. She is Missy Linda's cousin. The more they have gotten to know each other these last few years, the more they find that they have in common. Of course, their fathers were twin brothers, so that might explain it.

Anyway, Missy Carol had to be resuscitated by her son-in-law so it was a very big deal! None of us could believe it! Missy Linda says that she is doing well now, and the doctors expect her to make a full recovery after she has blockages fixed in two more blood vessels. She got three stints in one artery this time, but she is in a facility that is not equipped to do any more. We are all so extremely relieved that she should be all right. She still has a long row to hoe to get there though. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers along with us because she needs to stay here with us a lot longer. She is that person that most people might call feisty. I would call her that, for sure. The slumber parties that the ladies have once a month would not be nearly as much fun without Missy Carol. She brings a lot to my life and to Missy Linda's life and to Missy Barb's life, and they have just gotten to know each other the last few years.

GET WELL SOON, MISSY CAROL! WE NEED YOU!

Facebook

Greetings humans and most others,

Well, at least it is almost cool this morning. That is good for a little while at least. I am hoping that Missy Linda will take Nelson for a longer walk this morning so that I can get some computer time - - - alone.

Are you all on Facebook? Well, yesterday, Tio Kane received a letter through Facebook from his first grade teacher. We knew she was still living here because Missy Linda had a classmate last year whose child was in her class at that time. Anyway, she sent Tio Kane a picture of him and four or five other students that was taken at a birthday party when the kids were first graders. She said that she still has the picture framed and on the shelf at her home. She has always been particularly fond of that class. Missy Linda enjoyed the picture very much, of course.

Missy Linda finally got some good news. She got all but $500 of her bill paid at school by the tuition waiver that she has been waiting to hear about. That is a lot better than having to pay the whole amount. The waiver did not cover fees, parking sticker, or things like that. That's all right. She is glad to get any help she can get. She has had problems getting any aid because she doesn't always go to school full time, and that is a rule for a lot of the scholarships, waivers, and loans. Anyway, she is happy about it. Maybe I will get some peace today!

"Rain, Rain, Rain, Rain. Beautiful Rain"

Greetings humans and most others,

Are you as happy as Missy Linda to get this cooling (?) rain here in central Oklahoma? She is borderline ecstatic! She had been forced to resort to watering some of the lawn just to keep it sort of alive. She doesn't take watering lightly since she has to pay for the water. She doesn't mind doing it when she can afford it, but that is not right now. As you all know, she is still looking for a job. (I am beginning to wonder what is wrong with her that no one wants to hire her, aren't you?)

The weather dudes (even female meteorologists are called dudes by Missy Linda - - -she doesn't mean it in a derogatory way, she says) say it will be only 85 to 90 degrees today. Well, that is not great, but it is better than anything over that, I suppose. I probably would not melt just sitting outside at that temperature, but I will probably not test that.

In case you are wondering, the title today is the title of a song that Missy Linda likes. It is sung by Ladysmith Black Mambazo who are from South Africa. Missy Linda loves the smooth harmony of the way that this group sings. In the song and in the country of origin, they go without rain for months at a time so they are even more happy to get rain than we are here in Oklahoma today. I don't know much about it except that when I get to ride in the car with Missy Linda she plays their CDs. I would say that it is better to listen to than some of the rock stuff she plays - - -very loudly! She says she likes to feel the music. I think she is a little old for that, don't you?

Have You Melted Yet?

Hello humans and most others,

I was just wondering if any of you have melted yet? I believe I have come close a couple of times in the last few days! Wow! I am wondering why I had to end up in Oklahoma with these extremes of weather! I surely had a nice life in Southern California before I got sent here. At least, I don't remember the weather being so record-setting in so many different ways! I am actually thankful that Missy Linda has not taken me out the last few days because she could have easily left me in the car too long (remember when she left me for three days in the car?) and the consequences could have been catastrophic! She forgets me all the time these days - - - it's just not been life-threatening yet.

Speaking of forgetting - - - do any of you all know to whom I should report her if she gets dangerous in her wandering off while doing things like cooking? Yesterday, while her breakfast concoction was cooking on the griddle, she meandered outside and starting digging up monkey grass to move it someplace else in the yard. Luckily she remembered what she had been doing in time to keep them from burning, but we were just fortunate that time! She is going to burn down the house and melt us all! And now I have to worry about Mr. Nelson, too, because he is just a kid, and someone has to take care of him if she goes to la-la land. You people don't know what it is like living with someone like her. I may need to enlist your help, ok?