Happy/Sad

Greetings humans and others,

Missy Linda is happy that this is the last week of classes, and then all that's left is finals. You know how she is, though. She will miss going to school, and she will miss seeing her friends most of all. She doesn't function as well if she doesn't have some structure in her life. I was thinking that maybe she should get a job for a little structure. Actually, I know that she is "trying" to get work. I suppose she feels like enough of a loser without my teasing her. I guess maybe I should stop teasing her about a job. OK, I'll try it for one day and see how it goes.

You will never guess what Missy Linda told me she discovered the other day! She said that our neighbor's mother or mother-in-law has some people like me. In fact, she actually makes people like me. I could not believe my ears! Do you suppose that she could be my mother? Or maybe, at least, I would find some cousins or something! Wow! I can hardly wait to find out more, can you?

That Was Scary!

Greetings humans and others,

Have you wondered what I have been doing the last two days since I did not write either day? Did any of you all check to see if I was all right? Well, I have been forgotten in the car again! In this hot weather! You know I could melt!

That Missy Linda went to her slumber party Friday night, and she did, in fact, take me along. It was fun and all that, but then when she got home, she just left me in the car! You know how hot it is already the last few days! I nearly died!

She finally remembered to get me this morning! I believe that is Tortilla Keeper Person abuse! Since you all don't seem to want to get involved, I am writing my legislator! Maybe by the next incident, I will be the legislator! So there!

It IS Always Something

Hello humans and others,

Well, I think I will have to fall back on my friend Roseanne Roseanna Danna again today. You remember her, don't you? "It's always something. If it's not one thing, it's another."

I"ll swan! I sometimes think Missy Linda is a five year old girl in an old lady's body! Everything can be going perfectly fine here, and she will show up, and POW!---everything is a huge cacophony of yells and screams and just turns into a massive hurtling snowball of confusion! (and that is if nothing is really going on that day). I think that we would do better here if she just got a job and went to school full time so that she would be away from home the better part of the day. I actually think I need the peace and quiet.

I think I am beginning to see why the Mister who used to live here, couldn't live here any more. But, I suppose that is another story for another day, right? Missy Linda would tell you that he just couldn't take the fun!

Normal Day

Hello humans and others,

Well, Missy Linda survived yesterday. She didn't mess up, and she didn't trip or anything. That's good with her. She even got in a little dig about Doug the professor, which got a laugh. That's about as good as she can hope for. Actually, I was hoping that a little something would happen that would provide me with a little entertainment. Maybe next time.

The weather dudes say that today is going to be like summer. I hate that. Even though it has never actually happened, I do have concerns about melting. I suppose that my Styrofoam base would not melt as I understand that stuff is indestructible. However, my body from the waist up is what concerns me. I am sure that part of me could melt. You remember that I cannot trust Missy Linda to always bring me inside from the car if I go out with her, don't you? I have spent at least three days in there before. Alone. Forgotten. Victim of the temperatures. I am not safe around here. Don't forget to check on me, ok?

Big Day for Missy Linda

Hey there humans and others,

Well, it's a big day (kind of) for Missy Linda today. It's not that big of a deal, but she has so little to hold on to that we are going to go along with her, aren't we? She gets to read her article at the launch party for the New Plains Review. Stay with me, folks.

She has had kind of a crummy couple of weeks lately so let's just let her have her tiny little moment. You know it must be bad if I am willing to cheer for her, right?

She made the worst grade she has ever made on a research paper last week. She could not even believe it at first. That's the class she had a test in yesterday. She is just glad that there is only one more test (the final), and the semester is nearly over. She just can't please this prof. She expects a fairly bad grade on this test because she just can't understand what this guy wants. She loves all her other classes, no matter how tough they are. She can hardly wait to say, "Goodby Chaucer, Milton and the Pearl Poet. I hope I don't run into you again."

Maybe she will feel less cranky after her little reading today. She is also planning a little dig at the editor who cut and re-wrote just a little too much of her article, she thinks.

Is it Tuesday yet?

Hello humans and others,

Here I am again in the New Plains Review class. They would never admit to it, but I believe I helped their publication a great deal in just that one day. I still did not get a picture with the editor, Melissa. I will have to get back up there and get that done. She is a very important person who does a lot of unheralded work on the publication. I can tell you for sure, she does more than Missy Linda. The tall guy on the left is Cole, then Michelle (you may remember her from the office shot), then Doug, then Matt (who Missy Linda calls "Smoky Laptop") and lastly the top of Zach's cap.

I am just warning any of you who might run into Missy Linda today to LAY LOW! She is on the third day of a headache, and she is starting to get cranky. She has a huge test this afternoon, and she has not studied because she thinks she can't study with a Headache. Right now she thinks she will go ahead and take the test on time rather than having to do a make-up. She is not doing all that well in that class anyway so maybe a horrible grade won't really do any more harm. Poor Baby! She thinks she has terrible problems!

Well, I don't know about you all, but I am out of here to somewhere out of Missy Linda's sight and out of her mind. That seems like the safest thing to do, don't you think?

Rays of Sunshine

Hello,

Well, this morning at the bird feeders there were five goldfinches. We have never had that many all at once. Tio Kane said that they should be called, "hi-lighter finches." He says they are much closer to that fluorescent yellow than they are to gold. Maybe he has a point. They were definitely eye-catching on such a dreary, drizzly morning. We also had a downy woodpecker that has been around some lately, plus some cardinals who are always here. And just to make the point from the other day---we did not buy the expensive food. Well, we buy the sunflower seeds because all the birds seem to like those, but we just get the store brand or whatever is the cheapest kind.

Don't get me wrong---Missy Linda thinks that Sunday is the best day for it to be dreary and drizzly and maybe a little cold. That gives her permission from the powers that be to just laze around in her jammies with no make-up and do her homework or whatever. She feels it gives her special permission to take a nap without guilt. I do not know how her mind works so I cannot explain where she gets her philosophy, but if it works for her, it makes my life easier.

Unfortunately, however, it means that I will be at home doing nothing. While that is a good policy for a day once in a while, I am tired of doing nothing. I guess I will just have to be content today with Missy Linda's being quiet and busy with her studying. I will have to convince myself that even though I don't get to do something I want to do, at least I don't have to do something I hate. Also, I suppose I could say that if I am at home, Missy Linda cannot publicly embarrass me or anything like that, which has happened before. I will learn to make the best of my situation each day. Isn't that mature of me? I'll let you know how that works out, ok?

Yard Work and Cooking

Hi there humans and others,

Do you remember when Saturday was the day that you went shopping or you went to the movies or did something fun because you didn't have to go to work or school? Well, I guess that isn't how it is around here. Today, I have been told, we will be doing yard work and cooking ahead for next week. I am not sure how that "we" got in there because I don't intend to do either of those things. Those are the types of things that I leave to Missy Linda.

I personally am planning a day of beauty rest sitting on the buffet in the dining room, as usual. From there I have a good view of the front door, and if anyone should come over, (not likely) I would be right there for a visit. I refuse to have any part of that cooking that Missy Linda does in a big pot so that she doesn't have to fix any food for a few days. I've seen what that muck looks like, and I have smelled what that stuff smells like! I will never take part in the cooking or eating of that gloppity glop! Would you?

She's All That

Hey there humans and others,


Well, here is the magazine that Missy Linda's class put out this semester. That's all I've heard about lately---except for the class in which she's getting a bad grade! I don't know which is worse---bragging or whining!She thinks that she is a published author now, but everyone in the class got an article in the magazine. She is still kvetching about the fact that Doug cut out about two-thirds of her article. All the students learned what an editor is!

My big concern is: When is she going to start making some money from this so we can get lives around here? It is all well and good to have a passion, but if one cannot earn a living from it, is it really valid? I say that it depends on if you have to earn a living from it, don't you?

Juana Goes to College

Hello humans and others,

I finally got out of the house on Tuesday. Missy Linda took me to class with her. As you can see in the top photo, I am right in the middle of the class. I think that I added some valuable insight for them. This is the class that publishes the literary magazine. The dude in front of the white board is Doug, the professor. The guy sitting is Brandon. He is a staff member just like Missy Linda is. Now, don't get excited. The lady to the right is not Missy Linda. (You thought that you would finally see her, didn't you? Believe me; she does not look like that!) That lovely lady is the professor who will be in charge of the magazine next year. She is just sitting in to see how we did things this year.

In the second photo is Michelle. She is the paid staff for the "New Plains Review" office. She does all the graphics work (She is an art major). Well, really, she does all of the actual work to get the magazine to the publisher, except for the editing and writing the articles.

I'll tell you more about my adventure tomorrow, ok?

Sucks to be a Sparrow

Hello humans and others,

Have you all seen the commercial for that Scott's Premium Bird Seed? It promises that you will have a lot of brightly colored birds at your feeder. You should hear Missy Linda and Tio Kane carrying on about that! "Poor little plain birds," they say. And I say (as usual), "Oh, boo, hoo!"

I don't believe that the expensive bird seed repels the ugly birds, it just attracts the pretty birds. I think that Missy Linda is just all bent out of shape because she feels like a plain brown sparrow when she sees her competition in the world. And again, I say, "Oh, boo, hoo!" Don't you?

On a related note: Still no nest in the nest box.

A Good Day for a Nap

Hello humans and 0thers,

Well, it looks like a good day for a nap here in central Oklahoma. It started raining before Missy Linda went to bed last night, and it looks like it has rained quite a bit through the night. Even though she knows that she will think she is near death because of allergies after this soaking, she says that we need the moisture. Have you all been seeing the huge fires around here on the news? They started last week, and some were not out until last night during the rain, if then.

I heard that someone started one of the fires deliberately---the one that burned about a hundred houses. What is wrong with you humans that one of you would do something like that? I have never, ever heard of a Tortilla Keeper Person who has done a horrible thing like that! Have you?

Well, back to napping. I think I will take some naps today because it is cloudy and cool, and I know that Missy Linda is not going to take me anywhere today. She is already trying to hurry me up on the computer so she can have her turn. Hasta luego!

Nearly Finished

Hello humans and others,

Well, Missy Linda tells me that she has just one more big paper due so I will be able to get to the computer more after that. Yeah, I hear that kind of stuff all the time. I think she is just telling me that to get rid of me for today, don't you? I have learned that it is always going to be something. She will find an excuse if she wants one. It's just like when Missy Elise was little, and she wanted to bake in her Easy Bake Oven. There was always a reason to wait.

Missy Linda told me that I left out something in my story about the cats on people's houses in the Depression. A hobo would draw the cat on the house for other hobos to see. A lot of times the people living there did not see them. The hobos also drew other signs on people's houses that were not as nice, but I don't know what they were specifically.

Well, Missy Linda is giving me the evil eye to get finished here so she can "work" on the computer. I guess I'll talk to you later, OK? Perhaps I should start Tweeting. What do you think?

Hurry, Hurry

Hey there humans and others,

How are you all this fine spring day? When I say, "fine spring day," I am secretly laughing inside my head. From looking at Missy Linda's face, I think it is an allergy day. I guess she has downed enough antihistamines since she got up to stop her eyes from running, but she kind of looks like she has a puffy frog face. She said, "At least when my face is puffed up like this, the bags under my eyes fill in, instead of sinking further like when I don't get any sleep."

I guess I have to give her credit for looking on the bright side, huh? She's such a tool!

Well, I've got to run. It's, "I've got to have the computer today. I have a paper due." And now she won't leave the thing on for me while she's gone since my internet shopping excursions. Imagine!

The Cat Community

Hello humans and others,

I have to hurry. Missy Linda wants the computer in a minute. She has a "paper due today." Like I haven't heard that before!

Anyway, Missy Linda told me this story about cats---sort of about cats. She said that during the depression, which I think was a bad time in the 1930's, there were hobos who traveled around on empty train cars and the like. People who would give them food would put a little plaque or a picture or draw a picture on their house of a cat. This little sign meant, "A kind-hearted woman lives here." That meant that she would give them food if she had any.

Missy Linda would like to think, in her delusional little brain, that the cats have put out a sign that says they are welcome in her yard. I think it's the bird feeders!! Don't you?

As Promised---Cat Connections

Hello humans and others,

A funny thing is happening at our house lately. We seem to be the gathering place for every kitty within a few miles. For awhile we have had a certain fuzzy gray tabby lounging in the back yard. Then a short haired darker gray tabby started visiting. After that was a huge male orange tabby, about the size of a small mountain lion. Well, he seems that big! He marks the stockade fence.

This weekend Missy Linda heard a lot of meowing in the garage. That's not too unusual because a couple of neighborhood cats sometimes hang out in there. This meowing was loud though, and the familiar cats are usually quiet and run away when someone opens the door from the house. It turns out it was a huge, almost white cat. It had just some very light beige markings. Missy Linda put some dry food out on the driveway because she didn't want to feed strangers in the garage. The cat came out and ate. Then he went back into the garage and went to sleep. He was gone today.

We were just wondering what kind of a network they have to get their news around.

The Surge is Not Working

Greetings humans and others,

Well, the critter wars are in full force. One bird feeder is down by the escape route under the fence this morning. The good news is that it is the broken one that was glued and duct taped back together anyway. Plus, it was nearly empty! Ha, ha.

Missy Linda, who will use any distraction to get away from what she is supposed to be doing, put a surge in force yesterday to get rid of Mr. Old Man Squirrel. She is getting her pitching arm in shape very well. The only thing is- - -girls are not allowed to play baseball. (Don't get her started on that!) Anyway, he did not move a muscle when she hit the feeder on which he was perched. He did ramble away after she actually hit him, but he wasn't very scared. Of course, he knows that is going to put her in a tizzy! Mr. Squirrel, please do not make life hard for the rest of us by thumbing your nose at Missy Linda! Just go along with her, please. You can eat all you want when she is at school, ok?

Tomorrow: The cat connection.

Sweeping Me Down the Plain!

Hello humans and others,

Well, I have to say that I will give Missy Linda credit for not letting me out in the winds we have had lately---and are still having. I am sure that if I got loose somehow, I would be taking a trip to no telling where---whether I wanted to go or not! I suppose I cannot complain about staying home when it is like this outside.

It would not take a genius driving through our neighborhood today to know that tomorrow is Big Trash Pick-up Day---if you could, in fact, drive through our neighborhood. It seems that many people have misjudged how heavy their trash is, and a great deal of it is in the middle of the streets---things like pieces of old swing sets, slabs of stockade fencing, various pieces of broken furniture. There's something to be said, on occasion, for doing things at the last minute, I suppose. If you value your life, it would probably be wise to stay away from here today---for reasons other than usual, like Missy Linda is cranky or Missy Linda is headachy or Missy Linda is not wearing make-up. (Those are just things that I have heard.) I think it's a good day to put something heavy in your pockets, don't you?

Missed Again

Hello humans and others,

Well, I just want to mention that we all had to lay low around here yesterday so I did not want to risk asking Missy Linda to turn on the computer for me. She had a bad day evidently, so I decided it would be in my best interest to leave her alone. I think I made a wise choice.

It seems that she got a bad grade on a test that she took a month ago. They were just handed back yesterday though so it came as a little shock to her since she could hardly even remember what they test was about. Now she remembers that she thought she was doing great when she was writing as fast as she could on test day. A little while after she finished the test though she got a feeling about what she had done wrong. But, guess what---it was too late then.

You should hear her carrying on to no one in particular. Button was the one that usually had to endure those long talks. She has decided that she has philosophical dyslexia. I ask you all, does that sound like a sane person?

Be Careful Today!

Greetings humans and others,

I am not even going to try to trick you people for your weird holiday today. You humans are targets that are just too easy. You are so gullible that it takes the fun out of it.

If you happen to run into Missy Linda, though, you would be well-advised to lay low. She drank too much caffeine last night, so she tossed and turned. Then she had to get up early to finish a paper that is due today. She looks and acts a little haggard, to say the least.

To top it off, it seems every other house in the neighborhood is having its roof replaced. That is not usually annoying, but it might be today. Missy Linda was blocked in yesterday morning by trucks of the roofers, and she was running late to class. I wouldn't want to be there if that happens today. There are two of four houses next to this house getting roofs right now. There are about fifty people working on each roof. That makes for a lot of trucks and junk. Maybe I should run out and warn the workers about Missy Linda, do you suppose?