Resolutions, Anyone?

Hello there most humans and many others,

I was just wondering if any of you out there make New Year's Resolutions. I have never done that before, but I was thinking that I might make some for Missy Linda whether or not she wants me to do that. I am doubting that she goes to the trouble of trying to improve herself, aren't you?

I, on the other hand, know many things that she can do, if she will, to improve herself! The first item on the list would be to listen to me and take my advice. I believe that would do her the most good, and it is the best thing for all of us in this household, for sure.

In addition, Missy Linda should find a way to earn much more money. I seldom get to shop on the internet any more. She is really cramping my style!

It is evident that she must spend more time walking and playing with Mr. Nelson. He needs more attention so that he will not attempt to play with me. I like him, but he does try to chew my lovely dress when he plays with me. That must stop!

If you have any ideas for resolutions that Missy Linda should adopt, I am positive that she would love to hear your suggestions. Just send her a message through me, or email her. OK?

Thanks, People!

Greetings most people and many others,

I just want to thank you all for helping me visualize Missy Linda having a bad time at work yesterday. It really worked - - - better than I anticipated.

Not only did Missy Linda have to lift some boxes of merchandise, as well as having a super high number of customers, she slipped in the parking lot on her way in to the store. She wasn't really hurt, but it didn't help her sore back any. She kind of fell on her side. She did have pretty wet clothes for about half the day. At least she wasn't complaining about its being too hot in the store until her clothes dried!

There was a policeman who saw her fall. He did watch from his cruiser as she got up from the icy abyss by using her plastic drink cup to steady herself. When she continued across the parking lot to the store, he pulled up to her, lowered his window, and asked if she was all right. Wasn't that nice of him!

By the time yesterday was over, Missy Linda wishes she had just stayed on the ice and pretended it was worse than it was so she could have gone home for the day.

I do feel a tiny bit of remorse for hoping for Missy Linda to have such a terrible day since it actually happened. She said there was even more to make her day crappy, but she was too wrung out to discuss it with me. Maybe I will see what using my powers for good is like for awhile - - - or not!

Bad Idea Jeans

Hi there most humans and many others,

Well, I can tell you all that Missy Linda was wearing her "Bad Idea Jeans" yesterday when she decided that she needed to finally shovel the sidewalk up to the front door. She had no troubles at all except for a couple of places that were solid ice.

That is, she had no troubles at all until this morning. You should hear her moaning and groaning with a sore back! I am going to sit here in the warm house while she whines and is mad at herself for the day at work. She is going to be so sorry all day long.

Why don't you all join me in envisioning her at work hoisting heavy bolts of fleece up to the highest shelf or climbing the big ladder in the stock room? I figure she has until about 11:00 am until she snaps and bites some nice customer's head off. Isn't this a hoot!?

Here We Go Again

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, right now I was supposed to be getting ready to leave for Fayetteville, AR, with Missy Linda, Tio Kane and Mr. Nelson. As usual, things have changed! We are not going to be able to go because of Missy Linda's work. She was not able to get off for two days in a row because they are short-staffed right now.

Usually there is someone available who can trade days or shifts if needed, but right now there are not enough people. One girl is having surgery tomorrow. One lady left last week. One lady can work only her usual days because she has another job on the other days. I hope Missy Linda doesn't get another job, too!

Anyway, we are supposed to get to go next week. I hope that really happens! I'm sure Christmas two weeks late won't seem odd at all. (It probably won't to Missy Linda). Wish us luck!

Wow! I'm Getting Lazy!

Hello most humans and many others,

Did you think that I had dropped off the face of the earth? Well, I believe that I have been living with Missy Linda so long that I have caught some of her laziness! Maybe if I have some of hers, she can get more done!

How was your Christmas? It was super quiet around here. We were blizzarded in for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Missy Linda went to work yesterday. She didn't have any trouble, she said. She had an extra coat, a snow shove, the car charger for her phone, and her sack lunch that was really for work, just in case she got stranded for a little while. She knew she wouldn't have been there long because Mr. Nick told her to call him, and he would come and get her. She knew that he would be able to do that for sure as he has four wheel drive, and he has always been an excellent bad weather driver.

Well, Missy Linda is telling me to get off the computer. She is so bossy sometimes! I promise I will talk to you tomorrow.

More Fun at Work (?)

Hi there most humans and many others,

Missy Linda came home with another story that she thinks is funny. I personally feel that some of these little snippets of a job in retail are grasping at crazy straws.

Anyway, one day Missy Linda asked Mr. Bigboss (the store manager) if he ever found it hard to come to the same job for so long because he has worked in essentially the same job in a couple of different stores since the late 70s. He told her that it was the customers that kept him from being too bored because you never knew what to expect from them.

Missy Linda thinks this is a good example of that premise, and Mr. Bigboss was not even there yesterday to enjoy this.

There was a nice lady who came in to buy supplies to make a wedding dress that her three year old granddaughter requested. In a bag that she brought with her was her granddaughter's favorite toy, which was the "bride" for whom the little girl wanted the dress. It was a large stuffed parrot! It was at least as big as a real parrot, and it looked almost alive.

This poor grammy was intent on doing her best to make a wedding dress for this parrot to make her granddaughter happy. The little darling wanted to make sure that the parrot would carry flowers, too. There was no mention of the groom. One can only wonder!

Just when I think that Missy Linda and many others of you humans are as crazy as you can get, she brings home a story like this! I am truly becoming worried for the future of your human race! And the weird thing is that Missy Linda thinks the grammy was very nice and not a bit crazy!

Fun at Work

Hello there most humans and many others,

Missy Linda was telling me a story about some funny and weird things that happened at her work on Sunday. It was probably much more entertaining to her than it is to us. But, anyway, here is what she said happened:


When she and her boss went in the store to open on Sunday, they were greeted by some signage mistakes that just sent Missy Linda into a giggling mess. There were at least twelve of these signs posted in prominent places throughout a whole area of the store. Now, the boss is notorious for being a bad speller, but someone had to put up the signs and failed to notice the error! There is plenty of blame to spread around.

Missy Linda and her boss spent the day laughing and trying to decide what they could do with the signs as a joke to the big boss that would be funny but allow them to stay employed. There were several ideas tossed about, such as a giant poster hanging in the store when the boss came in the next day with the signs being held by the "Sunday girls" (that's what they call themselves because the same people always work on Sundays). Someone thought getting some potatoes and carving them into people, then taking pictures would be hilarious. They finally decided on something more simple.

Missy Linda's immediate boss took one of the signs and wrote a note which she attached to it, and she left it in the office. It went something like this:

Dear Mr. ____,
An Idaho Russet and a Big Baker came in to buy some of the fabrics advertised, but none of us knew anything about the "Decotator Fabrics." We did not know where or what they are. The Russet and Baker left the store quite upset and mentioned that they might contact the corporate office.

Go figure. Missy Linda thinks that whole thing is hilarious.

Worse Than Ever

Hello there most humans and many others,

Well, as usual, Missy Linda has done it again. The tension between Mr. Nelson and Mr. Mushu is worse than ever, thanks to her meddling.

She again attempted to get them together for a meeting of the minds, which again resulted in an even higher level of contentious feelings and actions on both their parts. I'll tell you, I am just about ready to call it quits on figuring out Missy Linda. I believe there is no rhyme or reason in the working of her brain.

She will plan something for the pets to help them get along better, but when the time comes, she just completely seems to do everything wrong. I don't know what to do with her.

In the meantime, Mr. Nelson is not allowed past the baby gate which now blocks off the hallway to the bedrooms and the utility room. This area is designated for Mr. Mushu. And that's the way it is around here now, thanks to Missy Linda.

Yea! Reliable Car

Greetings most humans and many others,

When Missy Linda interviewed for her job, she assured Mr. Fry, her boss, that her car is reliable in cold weather. Even if it should not start, she told him, Tio Kane could drive her to work. If that was impossible, she assured him, another son, Mr. Nick, lives close to her, and her daughter-in-law, Missy Lesley, is very nice and would surely be able to give her a lift. Unfortunately, since then, Mr. Nick and Missy Lesley have moved across town so that they no longer live close to us.

However, the good news is that, Missy Linda went out already to make sure her car would start, and . . . it did! I guess that really cold weather is a bad deal for some people's cars, and I know it has to be super cold because she wore shoes, gloves and a coat when she went outside! (Her usual thinking is that if it is not cold enough for her feet to stick to the sidewalk when she goes out, it is not very cold, and shoes are not necessary.) Missy Linda is very happy that she will be able to get to work this morning without any problems unless something else should develop.

I just wonder why Missy Linda doesn't stop using her garage for a storage facility and park her car in there like I have heard other humans do. Even though one side of the garage has a door that has to be opened by human strength, that is still not an insurmountable problem. Missy Linda is always saying, "I might be fat, but I am very strong."

Forgot to be Thankful

Greetings most humans and many others,

Thanksgiving is in the past now, but I forgot to stop and realize that I have some things for which to be thankful. Perhaps first on the list is that I no longer live head down in a shopping bag. That is a really big deal for me, and I SUPPOSE that I should remember that more often---especially when I am complaining about not going places and doing exciting things. Or maybe not.

Things for which Missy Linda is thankful (in no particular order):

her minimum wage, part-time job, which she did not have until August. Someday, though, she would like to have a job with a salary rather than wages- - -and insurance.

all her girls are healthy and happy and funny and sassy and curious and fabulous.

Mr. Nelson. He has cheered her up more than hardly anything I can remember. He is the reason she gets up in the morning (so she can let him out to pee)!

being able to go back to college this coming semester.

Sometimes she needs to be reminded how good she really has it, right?

Normalcy

Greeting most humans and many others,

Well, things around here are back to whatever "normal" is for us. No more humming toilets and that sort of thing for a few days now. I suppose "they" are gone.

Missy Linda is happy about one thing, and that is pretty rare. Mr. Nick asked if he could set up Missy Linda's Christmas village at his house. He remembers that he enjoyed doing it with Missy Linda when he was a kid, and he wants to put it up with Missy Ryley. Also, it hasn't been set up around here for at least four years- - -not since I've been here. Missy Linda is very happy that it is going to be enjoyed, and she does not have to do the work!

She did have to stoop over and drag it out of the closet that goes underneath the stairs that is behind another closet. But, hey, maybe Mr. Nick will want to keep it at his house after this!

Evidently, it is quite an undertaking as Missy Linda has collected things for the village for about thirty years. She has a little downtown area with a school, store, fire station, and train station. There is a side of town with smaller houses, and a side of town with big 'ol mansions. There is a farm and a skating rink with skaters, a ski slope with skiiers and a hockey rink with a game in progress. There is even a Santa in his sleigh that flies around over the town. Just the electrical system is an afternoon's job. Merry Christmas, Mr. Nick!

Are THEY Here?

Greetings most people and many others,

Well, strange things are happening around here! I don't know what to think.

This morning when Missy Linda got up, she heard a strange hum coming from the hall bathroom. When she went to investigate, she discovered it was the toilet!

When she walked by the office, the computer was running, and she had trouble getting it to stop. Tio Kane never leaves on the computer as that is one of his big pet peeves with Missy Linda.

Last night, Mr. Nelson carried two of his favorite toys outside into the cold and dark and left them there. One of them was his stuffed dog that he latched onto his first night here. Why would he do that?

Tio Kane studied a long time for his final in Chinese that he will take today. Tio Kane seldom studies. He writes papers and works on projects, but he just doesn't study.

Not earth shattering happenings . . . just a few coincidences?

"I" before "e" except after "c". Weird?

No Computer for Juana

Greetings most people and many others,

Well, I just want you all to know about the situation that I am facing around here. There seems to be no time for me to get a turn on the computer. . .Big Surprise!

It is the end of the semester for Tio Kane so he is writing papers out the wazoo, and he is even editing the papers of other people in his group projects. That, and Missy Linda's looking at cute kitty pictures and crap like that leave little time for me.

Somehow I thought that with her at work and him at school, I would have plenty of time to shop and browse and write. WRONG! I am getting pretty tired of the way that I am treated around here!

And if I say anything about it to Missy Linda, she says some horrible thing like, "Do you want to live head down in a shopping bag again?" She is vicious, isn't she?

"Best Dog I Ever Had"

Greetings most people and many others,

Well, I can tell you what I have been doing the last week! That is, if you are interested. It seems to me that no one cares about anything around this house except for Mr. Nelson! Now don't go getting me all wrong. . .I like Mr. Nelson, but I am sick of hearing how great he is.

That seems to be all anyone was interested in during Thanksgiving.

Oh, he's so sweet. He's so smart. He's so soft. He's so bouncy. He's so obedient. . .and on and on and on! Missy Amelia, who is only four says, "He's the best dog I ever had."

I think I need to go take a chill pill, if you will excuse me.