Young or Old?

Hello most humans and many others,

The other day I heard Missy Linda, Tio Kane, and some other people talking about age. Missy Linda said that she feels better now than she did in her thirties. A man just one year older than Missy Linda couldn't believe what she was saying. He thought maybe it is because Missy Linda doesn't have to care for children now. Tio Kane said that it is because that mister who used to live here, doesn't any more. The other man thought that was funny.

Missy Linda thought about the conversation later, and she has decided that what she had said is true. Maybe not for only the reason that Tio Kane suggested, although that is probably a factor - - - like we care one way or the other. She says that even though she still has headaches, she doesn't have nearly as many as she did back then. She is sure that she gets more sleep now and eats more healthfully, which is going to help, for sure.

I think she figures that if she didn't have a bad knee and if she got more exercise, she would be pretty well ready for the next twenty-five years. And to that I would say, "Please, let her give me to someone else before twenty-five years passes! "

What is a Good Day?

Hello most humans and many others,

I was just thinking as I was watching Missy Linda let Mr. Nelson in and out to chase a certain squirrel with a dark oval on his bushy tail. He is easily identifiable as the main nemesis of Mr. Nelson this season. He may have been born just this year because he is not very big, and he is very athletic, brash, and sassy. He seems to delight in teasing Mr. Nelson from the safety of the tree branches. Anyway, I was wondering what it is that makes for a good day for any given individual (humans, animals, and others).

As I have said, Mr. Nelson likes to chase squirrels, check his tree mail as many times as he can, get several treats, play hide and seek or chase, and get some bites of people food. If several of those things happen in a day, he has had a good one.

I am not as sure about what makes a good day for Missy Linda or Tio Kane. I am beginning to think that one day they might say one thing and another day say it's something entirely different. Surely there are those few ordinary things that make a person feel satisfied or content that day. I know that sometimes Missy Linda REALLY enjoys her coffee first thing in the morning, but some days, it doesn't seem to matter. There are times that hearing a certain song can make her start singing along and seem very happy. I have observed that a phone call or something in the mail can make her ecstatic or forlorn. I have learned that these forms of communication can bring great news or bad news, and sometimes can change the tone of a day or a longer time.

I guess I would just say to find a couple of things every day that make you feel good- - -for a minute or for a long time. If you look for such things, surely you can come up with at least two a day, even if you are not in a very good place right then.

Summertime Cabin Fever

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, I think the heat and staying indoors is making Missy Linda and Tio Kane a little sick of each other. The other day, Tio Kane sent Missy Linda a picture of CeeLo Green's belly. If you don't know who that is, find out, and you will know why that is disturbing! Missy Linda loves Ceelo's singing, but she says she could have gone the rest of her life without seeing another man's fat, tattoed belly. I think I will vote for that.

It seems that Missy Linda doesn't go anywhere except the grocery store, and when she gets back from there, I have to listen to her ranting about how everything has gone up in price since the last time she was there. Sometimes, if she is really annoyed, she will name a bunch of the products and tell the old price and the new price. You know what, I don't care! I don't eat, and unless she is bringing something for me, I'm just not going to get involved.

I am just hanging in there until it cools down a little so they will get out of the house- - -or better yet, until they each get a job!

How Long Is It Now?

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, I thought it might be cooler by now, but, obviously, I was wrong. I just heard that it won't be under a hundred degrees for more than another week! I must mention that Missy Linda is beginning (!) to get slightly (!) cranky. If you know her personally, you know what I am talking about.

I don't know what to do with her. I think that maybe I should live with a human who is easier to understand. If any of you have any ideas to help me control her better, please, let me know. I am open to any suggestions.

One of the problems, obviously, is that she could easily grab me up and slam me into a shopping bag or a trash can- - -head first!!! On the other hand, I am not able to intimidate her with threats of the same treatment, so I must use my tiny empty plastic head to outwit her somehow! I actually think I could pull it off with the right plan!

N

Big Trouble in Little Nelsonville

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, I believe that it might be a long day for Mr. Nelson and Missy Linda. Today is trash day, and that gets Mr. Nelson hepped up enough because he gets to go out front to help put out the trash with Tio Kane and then take out the recycling with Missy Linda. Also, he feels he MUST check his "tree mail" at least five times an hour.

For some reason, known only to them, they (Missy Linda and Mr. Nelson) seem to be getting more annoyed with each other than usual. Mr. Nelson has been barking very sharply at Mr. Mushu this morning, and Missy Linda doesn't like that AT ALL. Missy Linda says that sharp, high-pitched yelping cuts through her brain like a machete. (That explains a lot, right?) Also, yesterday morning, Missy Linda let Mr. Nelson out front to chase a squirrel---at least, that's what she thought he wanted to do. Well, he had seen a neighbor's huge puppy (looks like a Husky, but taller) in our front yard, so he immediately took out after the dog in the dog's own front yard. Mr. Nelson would not stop lunging at the puppy or listen or mind Missy Linda. She said that he was so lucky that it was a puppy that Mr. Nelson was after or he would have been beaten to a pulp or eaten alive!

I think that he is still grounded, and that makes it miserable for those of us who have to listen to Mr. Nelson and Missy Linda argue!

How Many Years Has It Been?

Hello most humans and many others,

How long has it been over a hundred degrees now? I'm not good with time, but it seems like it has been at least a couple of years by now!

I usually feel that it is to my advantage that I don't have the sense of time that humans have because I never know for sure how long it has been since I got a new dress. Also, I am not for sure how long it has been since I got to go someplace since I don't keep track like humans do.

I am guessing that it has been a long time since the heat locked down on this place. I don't know if it has been years, but it certainly seems like it. I heard the weather dude say that it would be here at least a couple more weeks. I am not interested in trying to go someplace or do anything special in this heat because we all know that Missy Linda is not very concientious about getting me out of the car. I can take freezing better than melting!

One thing I do wonder is: Can't you humans do something about this?!!!

Am I in Hell?

Hello most humans and many others,

I don't understand everything that you humans believe or think or do. I have always admitted to that. I have heard by listening to television and hearing humans talk about this place that is made of fire and brimstone. The thing is- - -I am wondering if that is where I am!

I understand that people who are not nice go to this place, although I am not quite sure what that means. I have heard conversations about global warming and other scary sounding talk. I am privy to a lot of yammering about subjects that I do not comprehend. Sometimes I wish I couldn't hear you humans all the time. It causes me to worry about strange things.

Anyway, I am wondering if I am in this place called hell because of how hot it is here all the time. I overheard on television that it has been over a hundred degrees for something like sixteen or seventeen days, and I heard Missy Linda belly aching about seeing the prediction that it will be that hot for at least the next week- - -even though she says it is too hot to even complain!

I don't actually know for sure how much one hundred degrees is, but I do know that if it gets any hotter, I am liable to melt- - -or at least get squishy!!!

Cloudy with No Chance of Sunshine

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, I've got to say that Missy Linda's moping around is starting to get to me. If I had legs, I would walk up to her and slap her into next week! Not only is she still whining about not getting to see the girls from Colorado for very long, she is furious with that Mr. who used to live here. It seems that he is supposed to send her a certain amount of money each month, but he isn't doing a very good job of it. You should see Missy Linda after she has received an email from him! I fully expect smoke to shoot out of her ears sometime soon- - -you know, like in cartoons.

In addition to those things, she still hasn't found a new job. I don't know what she expects- - -Remember how long it took her to get that job at the fabric store? I think that she is a little lacking in the marketable skills department. If she doesn't find something soon, though, you guys might want to stay tuned to the local news. I believe that the police would never think of me as a suspect in the murder of Missy Linda!