Big Trash Monday

Hi everyone,

I guess I am not going to the cook-out today. It is thirty minutes before it is supposed to start, and I can see that I am not being strapped into my car seat for a safe ride to such an event. Let me just say that I am very annoyed about all this!

I see that on the fridge there is a big note that says, "Big Trash Monday." Give me a break! Missy Linda has that up there like it is a big party or something. It just means that the special trash trucks will be here Monday morning to pick up the stuff that's too big for the regular trash. I will admit that some might have a good day shopping in other people's piles of trash before the trucks get around, but at least Missy Linda doesn't do that. There does seem to be a good variety of stuff put out each month, though. It can be enlightening just to notice some of the things that people throw away. It just shows how prosperous we really are, whether we think so or not sometimes, right?

Perhaps She Slipped Me Her Meds

Hi everyone,

I can't believe that I have just wandered away from the computer for this long and did not even realize it. I must have been so busy shopping on the internet, I didn't realize so much time had passed. Or, maybe, Missy Linda slipped me some of her medication from her surgery. She has been very happy around here since Wednesday, but she has been kind of "floating" looking.

She is feeling better about her classes since Tuesday. She even answered questions about "The Comedy of Errors" in Shakespeare class. But, alas, no one has received any extra credit in Comedy/Satire class for getting a date for her. They all thought that would be easy points, but I think they will be surprised how hard it could be, don't you?

Even though none of her classmates has gotten her a date, she has actually been invited to a bar-b-que on Sunday. I hope that she goes so that she can take me. I heard that there will be a lot of interesting people there. If I get to go, I'll have all the scoop for you, OK?

Babysitting an Adult

Hi everyone,

I am glad that I don't get sick or have to go to the doctor like you humans do. Missy Linda had a tiny outpatient surgery this morning, and she is driving me crazy. She was home by 1:00 pm, and that means I didn't have time to have any fun at all while she was gone. Tio Kane took her to the hospital. Since they had to be there by 6:00am, that is a little early for most of my friends to party. Then, because they got home so early in the afternoon, I hardly got to do anything on my own----you know, phone calls, internet shopping, all those good things.

After they ate lunch and Tio Kane picked up her prescription, he went upstairs to take a nap. That means I can't watch anything on television that I like that she doesn't. I can't shop on the internet using her credit card----or even just shop without using her credit card. I have to be around to make sure that if she falls or something, I can yell for Tio Kane----like I could yell louder than the noise she would make if she fell----ker-thud!

Don't worry about her, any of you. She is going to go to class tomorrow. She needs to go to hand in a paper, and she cannot let herself get behind in Shapespeare class or she will never catch up. Anyway, she hates to miss Comedy/Satire class because it is so darn fun. She did say that she had a bad day in that class yesterday, though. It seems that her professor is going to give extra credit to a student who can fix Missy Linda up with a date. To top off that, she got a "B" on the paper she turned in that day. Poor, Missy Linda. Let's all feel sorry for her for a moment, shall we?

They Really Love Me!

Good morning all,

I just wanted to show you one reason I was so busy last week. Here I am with Amelia , who is three years old. As soon as her hair dries, we are off to shop and have a day on the town. As you can see, I am all ready to go. Isn't Amelia's haircut cute? She cuts it herself (at least some of it)! Here is Elspeth, who is five years old. We are also waiting for her hair to dry so that we can get our fabulous day started. She and her older sister want their hair to get as long as Rapunzel's. I hope that doesn't mean that they have dreams of being locked in a tower some day!
This is my great friend Maitlyn. She is seven. As you can see, she is pretty much ready for the day as she already has on her boa. I think that is one of the most important accessories for a fashionable young lady, don't you? Don't tell her I said this, but, I love her little smattering of freckles! I think they are adorable. Of course, she is not fond of them. Also, she is not fond of the fact that she is missing some front teeth. That's why she doesn't have a huge smile. I think a half-smile is much more sophisticated, don't you?
We all had a great time, and Missy Linda and I are recovering nicely! I hope they can say the same.

Oops! It's Been A Long Time!

Hello people,

Oh, my! I did not realize that I had been out of touch for so long! I don't know for sure what has happened to me! I guess I just got busy watching the Olympics and doing other important things that took up several days without my realizing it. I believe that I am getting as daft as Missy Linda. I take that as a bad sign. You know how she is!

I believe that she has recovered from her first day at school and having the girls visit since she went out to an antique show with her friends yesterday. She just finished talking to me about how much reading and writing she has to do for school and how she can't do the things that I need for her to do. She can go out with her friends, though. She can always manage to do that----even though she actually missed the first day of school. Now there's a story for you!

For some reason, known to not even her, she thought that the first day of school at UCO was August 20, which would make her first day the 21st. I don't even try to figure out these things, but she did not even realize that she had missed school until she got there on the 21st, and someone asked her if she had read the assignment. I am not sure she is capable of going to college, are you? I have to admit, though, that is pretty funny. At least she is not upset about it, except that she has a bunch of reading to do. If she is really busy, maybe that will give me more time for my own projects, right?

Fun Can Be Exhausting!

Greetings humans,

Where does the time go? I can see why you all with kids are so exhausted all the time! Missy Linda took the girls home this afternoon, and I just realized how much time has passed since I wrote to you last. The last several days seem to have been a blur of the movies, Mulan and Mulan II, separated by short snatches of sleep, consumption of various shapes of chicken pieces, drinking of great quantities of strawberry flavored water and chocolate milk, vague sounds of CD's of the history of the world late into the night, lots and lots and lots of giggling and countless gazes from and into various shades of blue windows to the souls of wondrous little girls.

I don't know many little girls, except for the five little granddaughters of Missy Linda. But if all children are as dissimilar as these girls, who are actually all related to each other, it must be mystifying indeed to be a human adult. The oldest girl, Maitlyn, goes to sleep at night listening to CD's of the history of the world while reading books like The Chronicles of Narnia. Believe me when I tell you that it is very weird to awaken in the middle of the night to hear a strange, deep, male voice telling about monks who lived in caves!

Elspeth, who is the second oldest, prefers falling asleep to music----that is, if she actually did ever sleep! When a person is able to, like Elspeth can, transport herself to a magical, near-perfect, made-to-order place in her imagination, why would she want to stay around in this hum-drum place? Elspeth has such exciting pursuits upon which to muse that she cannot be bothered with banal routines such as sleep.

Some of the little girls are obsessed with dolls that look similar to me, only with legs, that they call Barbies. A couple of them seem particularly enamored of some beings that they call Dora and Diego. The youngest girl can say only a few words, but the main word she knows is "Diego." I can see that I have more to learn about you humans than I realized. I think I had better get some rest before I try to solve any more of these puzzles, don't you?

Too Much Fun?

Greetings,

Well, I don't know if it is possible with you humans, but sometimes a tortilla keeper person can have too much fun-----without alcohol! I guess I had forgotten how loud four pairs of plastic high heels can be on tile floors. It's not that the girls don't look stunning, but I could do without some of the clacking.

I must say, though, that that's about the loudest things get, except for Emma. Since she is the youngest, she is determined that her opinion gets heard so she has developed a screech that is just inside the range of human hearing. If the pitch goes any higher, only dolphins will respond!

Speaking of things I had forgotten about the little girls, I don't remember that they could eat so much. We brought home Chinese food last night, in honor of the Olympics. Oh, my goodness, they each had three servings of several dishes-----and cleaned their plates! I'm glad I don't have to find a job that pays enough to feed those "little girls"!

We all worked some puzzles, dressed up some more and watched a couple of Madeline videos. Then they were off to bed, which is a whole new story in its self. I was exhausted! I can't imagine what's in store for today, can you?

Happy Birthday, Missy Carol!

Hi,

A big shout out goes to Missy Carol, a day late for her birthday, but still--------HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MISSY CAROL.

I know your celebrations will be next week (right?), but I still want to send you my good wishes.

So, here goes again------Happy Birthday, Missy Carol from your party friend, Juana Tortilla!

There's No Pressure

Hello humans,

I must say, while I enjoy your young humans for their entertainment value and because they seem to especially like me, I don't understand why everything has to revolve around them. One of those little girls, Elspeth, told her mother that she could hardly wait to come and visit. She said it would be the most fun ever!

Ok! Now that is all well and good, but now Missy Linda is going to take that seriously. Who in the world knows what a five year old little girl thinks would be the most fun ever? Is it playing with a pile of Barbies and all their friends? Or going to the indoor place that is full of those huge blow-up jump-on and jump-in toys? Or could it be coloring with the new markers that can blend colors? Or is it going to the zoo? Or is it eating lots of extra treats that will ruin her little white teeth? Or is it all the popcorn chicken she can eat for as many days in a row as she wants it? Who knows? I certainly don't!

I wouldn't want to be in Missy Linda's shoes! She has to figure out what makes a five-year-old girl have the most fun ever while also making sure a seven-year-old, a three-year-old, a two-year-old and a one-year-old have the most fun ever. And all at the same time! That seems like too much pressure, don't you think?

Missy Linda says that if, at the end of the day, they are all alive, there have been no trips to the emergency room, no one has cut any one else's hair, no gum has been ground into the carpet or anyone's hair, the walls have no spontaneous art work on their surfaces, no one has a sprained ankle from plastic high heels, and all the pets are uninjured, then it has been a successful day! But I know that secretly she wants them all to have the most fun ever, don't you?

Crazy Days

Hello humans,

I just found out that tomorrow Missy Linda is going to pick up three of those little girls that come here sometimes. These are the three who live in Fayetteville, Arkansas. They are Maitlyn, 7, Elspeth, 5 and Amelia, 2. They haven't been here since May, and that was for only one night. This time they will stay about five days.

When the three girls from Arkansas are here, the two who live here in Edmond spend a lot of time over here playing with them. That's ok with us. It can get pretty exciting with five little girls all dressed up in high heels and sequins. Throw in a couple of boas and purses, and it's an event! Those girls love to dress up just like I do! We get along great. And, don't forget, they do love me.

All of the girls have great imaginations, except maybe Emma, who is only one. She just wants to do what the other girls are doing. That's all right. She and I can learn a lot together. Ryley, 3, Emma's sister, has enough imagination for both of them until Emma gets a little older. I will be glad to see them all because exciting things happen when they are all here!

How Exciting!

Greetings humans,

Here I am imagining myself at the "water cube" and the "bird's nest," which are a couple of the main venues for the Olympics. I think that those are great names for them, don't you? I think they look super cool when they are all lit up. I would love to see them in person.

I think that I may be a little like Missy Linda, though. She has a fear of being someplace where they don't understand her, and she doesn't understand them. That cuts down the list of places to go right at the beginning. With something going on as huge as the Olympics, I suppose there would be much less danger of not being understood.

You should hear Missy Linda whine about having to take two semesters of a language to graduate from college! She is really worried about that. I tell her to get a little closer to graduation before she worries too much. Maybe she won't even get that close to finishing. She has only forty-six hours under her belt so far. One doesn't make very rapid progress going part-time. So far she keeps plugging along, though.

Well, I have got to run and get to watching some more of the games, don't you?

Backtracking

Greetings humans,

Yes, the Olympics are still in full swing. As a matter of fact, they have really just begun. The last I heard from Missy Linda, the United States had won eight medals. That was this morning.

I have been missing Puck, and I just wanted to show you all some pictures since you have not seen any of Puck and Button. Puck had been rather hard of hearing the last year or so. That means that since he is not here any more, it is very quiet because no one has to talk really loud or bang on objects to get his attention. Since Missy Linda's dogs were never allowed to run loose in the neighborhood, there was not any particular danger for Puck because of his hearing loss. As I have mentioned before, Puck was a rather shy and sweet dog. Shelties are usually obedient dogs. Missy Linda said that the only times that Puck did not obey were when he was told to stop barking and when he did not want to hurry when they went for walks. If Missy Linda tried to hurry him too much, and he wanted to sniff and look at things, he would plant himself on the sidewalk or the street and refuse to move a muscle until Missy Linda stopped pulling on the leash and talked with him gently to apologize.


In this picture of Puck (on your left) you can seen that both he and Button are shy about having photos taken. Missy Linda always called Puck's white chest his white dress shirt. She thought he looked very dashing when he was all clean and brushed. Puck always had gentlemanly manners, too.

You can see that Puck was a very helpful dog in the picture below. He was just trying to help pass out gifts---he would never have bothered them without permission! I think that surely he must hope that one of them is his, don't you?
Here we see Puck (on your right) and Button ready to celebrate their birthdays! Puck is a little apprehensive about the hat. Even though Puck was shy, he was game to do almost anything that Missy Linda wanted him to do.
Even I miss Puck a lot, and I did not know him very long. He was always a gentleman and a good friend. Even when some of those little girls would want to hug him a lot or accidentally step on him, I saw that he never snapped at them or anything. He would just walk away and try to stay out of everyone's way. I can see why everyone loved him and misses him, can't you?

If I Were There

Good morning Olympic fans,
I am not able to actually go to the Olympics, but I am going to be there in spirit, aren't you? In the picture above, I am getting ready for Beijing by breathing smog---or at least, existing in smog. I don't know if I actually breathe!
Oh, my goodness! How would I ever find my way around this huge city! This is just a smoggy intersection that I would need to find if I were going to get around the place. I think that being as short as I am, I might be better off just imagining, don't you? I would probably be very afraid of getting lost. The only Chinese I speak are names of dishes from the Chinese take out menu that Missy Linda uses.
I would definitely make it a point to see this Hall of Prayer for Good Harvests in the Temple of Heaven complex. Is this not beautiful? It was built in 1420 in the Ming Dynasty, and the complex is larger than the Forbidden City. Missy Linda has quite a few Asian decor items in her house, so I have learned to appreciate many of the Asian styles. She likes to shop at the Asian stores in Oklahoma City. In the grocery stores, there are a lot more live creatures than you Americans have in your plain ol' stores. Well, I've got to stop and catch my breath for today! I can hardly wait until the opening ceremonies tonight, can you?

It Is Almost Time!

Dear humans,

I have heard that it is nearly time for something that you people call The Olympics. From what I have heard, it is going to be so exciting that I will nearly pop my roses (You know, the ones glued to my body that are supposed to be my dress top.) I can hardly wait. As you can imagine, whatever is in my head is churning and turning with anticipation and ideas of what I would like to do for the Olympics.

So, do you guys have parties, or what? Do you have wagering? Do you dress in costumes for parades? Do you have special foods like you do for Cinco de Mayo and Thanksgiving? Do you have gifts? If so, may I give you some suggestions for mine? I think that I have a lot of research to get done in a hurry, don't you?

I am fairly certain that I heard that the games are in China. Is that correct? Should I wear my beautiful Chinese ensemble that I wore for Chinese New Year? Oh, my goodness! If I had a heart (and who knows, maybe I do) it would be all a-flutter. Don't you think?

Everything is OK

Greetings,

Well, I did want to let everyone know that Missy Linda has been keeping an eye on
Button since she unceremoniously fell on the poor little dog, and Button has shown no signs of physical injuries. She even ate her breakfast this morning at the site of the unfortunate accident of yesterday.

Button has been sticking like glue to Missy Linda since Puck died----much more than usual. Button has always stayed close by Missy Linda, but she also always liked to be outside surveying her domain and just keeping everything the way it should be. She has not wanted to go out hardly at all since Puck died. She would come right back to the door to be let back inside right after doing her business. Missy Linda thinks that finally she is getting back to normal because this morning before it got too hot, she stayed outside awhile---about an hour. We are all glad that Button is doing better, aren't we?

Poor Little Button!

Hello humans,

I know it's later in the day than I usually write, but, hey, it is Sunday. A beautiful Styrofoam based tortilla keeper person is entitled to sleep late and have some fun, isn't she?

I'll tell you, it is just one thing after another around here. I did not know that getting involved with a bunch of humans would be so sad or funny or crazy or loud or weird or tiring as it is! If I had known, well, maybe I would have tried to get involved earlier.

Poor little Button is Missy Linda's remaining Sheltie, as you know. This morning there was a near-tragic, hilarious, sad accident involving Button and Missy Linda. After it was apparent that everyone was all right, I nearly laughed off my roses. Missy Linda overslept a little bit so Button was pretty hungry and a little annoyed with her. Missy Linda was trying to get Button's breakfast as fast as she could, but she had to prepare and give Button her morning medicines first.

Finally, the medicine was downed and the breakfast plate was ready. Missy Linda set it down on the rug in the kitchen. Button walked right between Missy Linda's legs just as Missy Linda was attempting to take a step---or something like that. There was a tangle of six legs going everywhere, and Missy Linda and Button each took a tumble---Button on the bottom!

Missy Linda was horrified as she was going through the air toward the floor because she couldn't figure out a way to get Button out from under her before she landed. (You know how long it takes to fall down. Sometimes it seems that one could read War and Peace before hitting the hard surface.)
At least Missy Linda didn't land square on Button, but she did kind of land on the side of Button's chest. Oddly, Missy Linda thinks she felt Button's ribs boinging down and back up.
Button yelped one yelp and got away.

If you know any Shelties personally, then you are aware that they are very sensitive and do not like to be displeasing to their owners. Button must have felt that she was being punished because she would not go near her plate of food after that. She just wanted to go outside.

Missy Linda petted her and apologized over and over, but Button was not buying into that. Finally Missy Linda sat out on the edge of the patio with Button and talked with her and petted her for maybe twenty minutes. Button finally forgave Missy Linda and came back into the house. She still wouldn't eat her breakfast until Missy Linda moved it to an entirely different place. Button is very smart.

Missy Linda told Tio Kane that Button was very angry with her and that Button's feelings were hurt. Tio Kane really zapped Missy Linda with, "Are you sure it's her feelings that you hurt?"
Good one, Tio Kane! I couldn't help but enjoy that little zinger, could you?

Keep Out of Her Way!

Good morning readers,

Don't make any sudden moves or get too loud if you happen to run into Missy Linda today. We here at the house are just trying to stay invisible and quiet. She is in a rather cranky state right now. It seems that she discovered that the Mr. who used to live here has been gone on a ten day European honeymoon before he even gets married.

Now Missy Linda does not care about the fact that the Mr. is with someone else on this "honeymoon". She is not in a snit because the Mr. and his fiance were cruising down (or up---who knows?) the Danube---partly because they were both sick a lot of the trip!

Anyway, what her concern is has to do with the fact that the Mr. has so much money to spend lately while she is desperately trying to come up with the money for some new medical and life insurance for herself. She also needs two new tires. Oh, my! She really hates it when her life is just another example of a statistical norm. (You know, the man gets richer, the woman gets poorer from a divorce.) If there is anything she hates, it is to be statistically normal!

Next weekend, the Mr. and his long lost love will be getting married in Las Vegas. He is paying to fly his children and their spouses out there and is paying for their rooms. Missy Linda says that she does not begrudge him this. She doesn't mind if he gets married.

All Missy Linda keeps harping about is that she wishes that she didn't have to sell her plasma to help pay her tuition. It sounds as if she is saying something about driving her car through the Mr.'s living room when she walks around mumbling.

If you guys are the kind of people who rubber neck at accident scenes along the highway, then keep your eyes on the news these days. If Missy Linda cracks, it is going to be something! And I am sure that she would do something noteworthy to get across her point if she slips over that precipice. If any of you guys know the Mr., you might want to warn him to lay low, ok?