What's Been Happening?

Hello most humans and many others,

So, what has been going on lately? I don't know where I was being taken, but somehow I ended up head down in a grocery bag in the back of Missy Linda's car for the umpteenth time. I was there so long I don't even remember where I was supposed to be going. If I had blood, it would have been puddling in my brain for all that time. No wonder I am disoriented.

I know that I was there when it was pretty cold, and it never really warmed up, even when the sun was shining. I suppose that I should be satisfied that I was finally rescued and am in the house now- - -right side up. As soon as my brain clears, I am going to demand some answers and then some better treatment from Missy Linda. I believe that it might be time for me to contact my Tortilla Person Representative, don't you?

My Nightmare

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, friends, I thought things were bad enough with not getting to use the computer, but they can always get worse, I have discovered. Internet shopping will finally be my downfall! After Missy Linda finishes her homework and other not so important tasks on the computer, she goes shopping!

Do you know how long it took her to find the doll she wanted to buy Missy Emma for Christmas? More than a day! It seems that not only does she have to find the right doll, she has to find a good bargain and free shipping. Multiply that times gifts for five little girls. Add to that the time she is just browsing---window shopping on the internet. I believe that she hasn't set foot into a mall in years. That's just laziness, if you ask me!

Santa is dead!

Hello most humans and many others,

I know that you humans have this guy called Santa Claus for your Christmas celebrations. I need to give you some terrible news about him. Please try to remain calm. This is going to be sad for you guys.

From where I have been sitting on the dining room table, I can see out the front window. Well, I can see that in the yard across the street is Santa. However, he seems to have been mugged or something because he is hanging upside down by some kind of electrical cord. He can't possibly still be alive. I am so sorry that I am the one who had to bring you this terrible news, but I haven't heard a word about it on the news.

Stay brave, humans.