Sunday, Sunday

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, here it is again - - - Sunday. I have seen on the news, more than once, that Sunday has its own kind of depression for many people. I think that might be true for Missy Linda and Tio Kane. Sometimes they are pretty mopey on that day of the week. At times there is a lot of extra sleeping, which seems totally silly to me.

It seems that the gloom comes from the dread of the coming week. For students, of course, it is homework or upcoming tests or projects which haven't been paid their due yet. I don't really know much about that stuff, but I do know that I am happy if Missy Linda takes a shower and puts on her face on Sunday. That's really all I need to be not depressed, but if we should go someplace and do something, then I am ecstatic.

Missy Linda says that today she is almost finished with her reading for class, so she is in good stead. I hope that lady calls who is supposed to have a job for Missy Linda. That would take care of the pall around here for today!

Sugarbaby?

Hello most humans and many others,

It is the week that school starts for Tio Kane and Missy Linda. I will be so relieved for them to be out of the house and my line of sight for awhile. I wish that they could afford to take more classes - - - more credits for them, more sanity for me!

I recently heard about a way that some young women are paying for their educations. I realize that most strippers and exotic dancers are just involved in those industries in order to pay their tuitions, but this idea seems to be slightly different. Evidently, there is a website which may or may not be called, "Sugarbabies." It has attractive young women searching for wealthy men who are willing to pay their educational expenses. Obviously, the men are called Sugardaddies. That's about all I know about it, but I am open to suggestions as to how I might be able to make this work for sad, not young, not svelte, possibly crazy Missy Linda. (I just put the "possibly" with crazy to be nice.)

Not a Good Idea

Hello most humans and many others,

As you know, I sit right where I see and hear everything that goes on in the the public rooms of the house. If the TV is on, I cannot avoid it. If Missy Linda and Tio Kane are talking, I am privy to the conversation, whether or not I want to be - - - usually I DO NOT want to know.

Well, this morning, I saw on the Today Show that older women are getting tattoes these days. I know of one older woman who has tattoes, but she is not someone that I would want Missy Linda to emulate. She is the wife of that Mr. who used to live here. I don't want Missy Linda to be anything like her! I know that Missy Linda has changed a lot in the last few years, but I don't want her to move in that direction! I think if Missy Linda started getting tattoes, especially big ones, it would be an ominous sign. What would be next? A motocycle gang? Another thought I had was; What if she wants to put tattoes on me? I would be helpless to stop her, and I would blow right off a motorcycle!

At least if she put tattoes on me, they would always look the same. Even if a woman is older when she gets them, her skin is still going to change significantly as she gets ancient. I don't even want to picture what that would look like! YUK! Missy Linda says she is going to live to be at least a hundred years old, and that would just be revolting to see a tattoo at that age, if she had gotten it when she was younger. Perhaps you humans should consider some laws about where on the body an older person can put tattoes. Do you want to see an eighty year old with a tramp stamp? (Of course, that brings up other issues as well.) If I don't have to see them, I don't care, but don't make me watch your freak show!

Can You Help Us?

Hello most humans and many others,

Since I cannot remember the last time that I got to go anyplace or do anything fabulous, I have had plenty of time to think. Believe me, there are enough hours to ponder every question that could ever be raised about any subject. Sadly, I have not been able to arrive at any answers to any problems that might make me famous or rich. Possibly the best idea I have come up with is that we, Missy Linda, Tio Kane, and I, should have a reality show of some kind. I truly believe that might be the only chance that Missy Linda has to make enough money to pay her living expenses.

I have not been able to think of a premise that could get them the attention that would be required. Even though she could definitely lose a few pounds, she is not heavy enough for those weight loss type shows. It is like her mother used to tell her, "You are not that ugly fat, you're just regular fat."

I suppose that Missy Linda could show the problems of a woman of a certain age dating. However, she would probably have to eventually find someone who would actually go on a date with her. I think you can see the problems inherent in that concept. I cannot think of anything that Missy Linda and Tio Kane could do that would be interesting to the viewing public, and I am concerned that this may be their only chance to make money to provide for me!

If you have any good ideas, please let me know. I am getting desperate!

A Day of Fun

Hello most humans and many others,

Yesterday, the little girls who live here in Edmond came over for the day. It is always a busy and fun day when they come over. Missy Ryley and Missy Emma will be starting school on Friday. Missy Emma will be in Pre-K, and Missy Ryley is in the first grade. Missy Linda is all sad because "her" little girls are growing up too fast.

It seems that Missy Ryley is one of the most in demand party guests in her circle. Her friend wanted to throw a last big soiree before school starts so she planned it for today so Missy Ryley could attend. (She had originally wanted to have it on Monday, but our girls were busy.) The friend is said to have responded, "It's just not a party unless Ryley Watkins is there." I think I would like to be Missy Ryley.

Anyway, we had a good time at Missy Linda's yesterday. We played with Mr. Nelson, and we all played with the Barbies. Missy Emma enjoys pretending that she is a waitress these days, so we ate at her restaurant. Missy Linda enjoyed showing a video to the girls of a variety show that had their parents as performers. Missy Emma even recognized at least one of her parents' friends who is now the mother of one of her friends. I guess some people don't change much as they get old.

Sorry humans, but I don't ever change at all!











1

Not As I Had Hoped

Hello most humans and many others,

As you may remember, I was looking forward to watching what I had hoped would be some very entertaining shows on television, especially until the weather cools down some. Yesterday, Missy Linda left the TV on while she wandered away to do no telling what, so I was able to see one of the shows I was anticipating. The program I got to watch was "Big Law: Deputy Butterbean." I had thought Bean (as some call him) had been a wrestler, but actually, he's a former boxer- - -evidentally a good one. The show is okay, but I had hoped it would be funnier- - -the kind of hilarious that they don't know they are being, but everyone else is laughing! I suppose that would be, "We are laughing at you, not with you."

I still have some hopes left for enjoying, "Who the Bleep Did I Marry?"

On Thursday, Missy Barb, Missy Carol, and Missy Linda had one of their parties. It is hard for me to remember the last time that I was included in one of their soirees. I guess it was all right this time, though, because Missy Linda's car air conditioner fan still had the dead thing in it on the way down there. This means that she had to drive without the coolness. I want no part of hot air or smell of dead animal blowing onto beautiful me! Pseudo Uncle took care of the problem while Missy Linda was there, though, so now the car is safe for me. Thank you, Pseudo Uncle!

I suppose I had better go and get started with another day that will probably be "Not As I Had Hoped!"

What Did She Do?

Hello most humans and many others,

This past weekend was kind of an eventful time in Edmond- - -for many people- - -not necessarily for Tortilla Keepers. However, some of the things that happened are just as well left to be experienced by others, as far as I'm concerned. One of the biggest things in this area was a huge fire that burned thirteen homes. It started on Thursday and flared up again later. It closed down I35 several times. It is so terrible for those people who lost their homes! I would never had made it through a big fire, so that sounds particularly scary for me.

I heard on the news that we also experienced a 2.0 earthquake in the area, which, of course, is smaller than the 2.7 that we had last week. I know we have them all the time, but still, that could be frightening for those of you who are not made of Styrofoam.

A really strange thing is that on Sunday, only right in Oklahoma City and very close by, it was only 87 degrees for the high! All the other places, even right next to us, were over 100 degrees, as usual. Missy Linda says it is probably because we finally got our air conditioner fixed on Sunday. She didn't care what it was doing outside, though. She was just delirious because it was cool inside! The other weird thing that happened weatherwise, was that we actually got a little rain. It really was a small amount, but it was actually rain.




I can't help but wonder what Missy Linda has done to cause these weird things to happen. I hear people talk about things like Karma, but I don't know much about those subjects. I just think that surely Missy Linda is involved when things get weird, don't you?

Glory! It Will Be Cool Today!

Hello most humans and many others,

Don't get excited! It's not going to be cool outside here in central Oklahoma- - -just inside our house! We have been without the downstairs air conditioner since sometime Tuesday. It's not that Missy Linda hasn't tried to get it fixed, it was just one of those things (says she)! Let me tell you, I have been worried about my personal safety in this horrific heat! High temperatures do not agree with my body elements.

Missy Linda (bless her heart) called our usual air conditioner dude on Wednesday morning. She called him because he usually comes within a couple of hours, and she has had no complaints with his work. She does worry about his working out in the extreme heat because he must weigh at least 350 pounds! Needless to say, he huffs and he puffs, and he sweats about a gallon of water per 5 minutes. One thing she does not like about him, though, is that when he is finished working, he walks straight past her to the kitchen table and collapses into a chair. He proceeds to expound on all sorts of topics, including, but not limited to, politics, what light bulbs to buy, how to kill an invasive tree, and how he never has dry clothes at any time when he is in Florida!

I believe that we have a new favorite air conditioner repair company now because former favorite never came this week even though he assured Missy Linda he would be here. He stopped returning calls, so, finally, Missy Linda decided he must have had a massive heart attack and died. "Not really his fault," she said, but she proceeded to call the new company. They charged the same amount as hefty guy had charged for the same problem, and they came on Sunday morning. There was no advice given except pertaining to the air conditioning system, and we were not concerned that we might have to call an ambulance or administer CPR!

We can return to our "normal" lives now! Oh, great!

Making Plans

Hello most humans and many others,

I am beginning to believe that it is not going to get any cooler- - -ever. I worry much more about the effects of heat on my body than I do cold. Cold is uncomfortable for me, but heat could melt me, I'm pretty sure, and it is supposed to be over a hundred degrees before noon today!

Taking into account these facts and my beliefs, I have begun to plan my life as if I am living on the surface of the sun- - -because that's what it's like these days here. Anyway, I will be staying inside out of the heat, and hope that the air-conditioner holds up. I will just loll around and watch television until the heat subsides, so I have been noting the previews of new show that are coming soon. I have made plans to watch some interesting shows.

One show that I misseed last night was "Heidi Fleiss: Prostitutes to Parrots." I hope they rerun that soon. I would hate to miss it. Some of the new series that I plan to watch are "Hillbilly Hand Fishing," (I assume this is similar to "Okie Noodling.") "Deputy Butterbean," (I think he was a wrestler, but I'm not positive.) "Bizarre ER," and "Sons of Guns." This is a show that portrays guys making all kinds of crazy fire power. That is my list so far, but I am not finished yet. I'll keep you advised when I have made more decisions on how to waste my time.