Will I Get To Go?

Hello most humans and many others,

You know what? I am wondering if I might get to go on Missy Linda's trip with her. She got a new huge suitcase with some gift cards she had, and there would definitely be room for me. The suitcase even has hard sides so it would protect me more than her old one. She had me sitting out in plain sight before I started working on this blog. I guess I'll know when I get finished here. If she puts me by her suitcase, I am pretty sure I'll get to go.

I'm not worried about riding in a suitcase. It definitely is not worse than being head down in a shopping bag for months!

Really Annoying

Hello most humans and many others,

Missy Linda is complaining about Facebook this morning. She gets so bent out of shape because almost every time she logs into it, she has to change the setting of the Newsfeed. She wants her feed to be by which ones are the newest, NOT the most popular. Why can't it just stay like she sets it? She's always asking that question.

You and I know this can't be true, but Missy Linda says that when she changes the setting, she hears an annoyed sigh come from the computer. She thinks that she and the computer are having a battle of wills. Please, pray for me while I deal with Missy Linda.

Softball

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, Missy Linda finally got to see Missy Ryley and Missy Emma play softball last night. It was a little hard she said when she had to wear that big ol' boot on her broken foot, but then last night she saw at least two people on crutches with much more elaborate contraptions on their legs. I keep telling you all what a wuss she is!

Anyway, Missy Emma had one grand slam home run, and she would have had another, but Coach Nick held her back on base so more girls would get a chance to bat. That's the real truth. Coach Nick likes to try to let every girl on the team bat twice. At their ages, five and six, they get more good experience that way. That's what they need at that age, right?

Same Song, Second Verse

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, Missy Linda is still mumbling about that job at the dry cleaners. She suddenly remembered that every other week, she would have to work six days rather than five. That might be all right in air-conditioning, she thinks, but, not in the heat. I think she probably won't take the job because she's such a wuss.

I think she's afraid of what others will think of her if she doesn't take the job - - - like she had her chance, but didn't take it. She hasn't had any other offers, though. Oh well, after I listen to her mumble it out, I'll keep you all advised.

Job?

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, Missy Linda was finally offered a job today. It pays a little more than most of the jobs she can get, but it would be a beating, she says. It's front counter at a dry cleaner. However, the work is done on the premises, and there's no air conditioning. They have something called a swamp box, Missy Linda says. She doesn't know if she can stand the heat and humidity. She's definitely a wimp when it comes to heat and humidity. She's says it makes her sick. It's the first job she's actually been offered, though. She doesn't know what to do, she says. I say she just needs to toughen up and get to work.

The owner showed her the sewing room, and he told her she might be able to work up to that. At least that would be sitting down, which she wants to do all the time, I think. I hope she decides soon so I don't have to listen to her very much.

Never Really Hungry

Hello most humans and many others,

Missy Linda is taking some new medicine. It has helped her to feel a lot better, except, she says she is hungry all the time. Tio Kane tells her she has never really been hungry in her whole life. She says she has to agree with that, but the medicine makes her want to eat even when her stomach is full - - - a problem she has always had in some degree. Eating, to her, she says, doesn't necessarily involve hunger.

Tio Kane took some medicine in the same family several years ago, and he gained a lot of weight. So far, Missy Linda says she hasn't actually gained any weight, but she figures she probably will. She feels she can only fight it so long. She also thinks if she has to work at it that hard, she should actually be losing weight! I think she's dreaming. However, you may remember that Blondie has a song about that. It's called, "Dreaming is Free." That is true.

Here I Go Again

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, I don't have a good excuse for missing days this time, except I didn't realize that much time had passed. Oh, my. I have to get myself into gear, don't I?

I did have some entertainment yesterday afternoon and this morning. Missy Linda has been hobbling around like an old grandma. Wait. Oh, I guess she is an old grandma. Yesterday morning, she was helping Tio Kane find some shirts to buy to wear to work. Dark green is not an easy color to acquire this time of year. She says she went to six different stores and didn't find anything. She finally went back to the second store and got plain white shirts and dyed them dark green. They will have to do for now.

If they had been expensive, it would have been scary to try dyeing them. However, Missy Linda said that they turned out to be about $4 each, so that makes it all right to give pretty much anything a try. She said that was as far as she could walk that day anyway.

She looks kind of like those old mean women in fairy tales the way she's been creeping around this morning. She had better get that knee and foot in good working order soon because the yard needs mowing, and Mr. Nelson needs dog food. That takes precedence over any of Missy Linda's problems.

I Can't Believe I Did That

Hello most humans and many others,

I can't believe I totally slept through yesterday and missed talking with you again. I guess I am having trouble keeping my memory working. I don't know what my problem is. I know I'm not getting old. I personally feel that I stay the same age, whatever that is. I used to celebrate my birthday, but I have been thinking, and I have realized that I stay the same. I don't age or get wrinkles or get osteoporosis or any of that stuff. So I have decided that I don't age.

You humans seem to attempt to keep from aging with your products and your botox and your cosmetic surgery. I just stay the same without any trouble at all. Kind of makes you wish you had a plastic face, huh?

Snow?

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, I have to tell you, I've been around long enough to know that it doesn't usually snow in May - - - even in Denver or Fort Collins. It snowed there yesterday, though. I see on the news that it stuck pretty well in Denver, and I think there's probably snow on the ground in Fort Collins today.

Even if it had snowed here in Oklahoma City yesterday, Missy Linda said she's still more shocked that the Thunder lost their game yesterday. The Clippers didn't even come close to the Thunder score until the end of the game. Missy Linda is a little down today. She says the Thunder will win the next two games, though.

Thunder Up! (I don't know what that means.)

Happy Mother's Day

Hello most humans and many others,

I understand that today is Mother's Day. I don't have any children. Missy Linda has some. She got a fancy shovel and a something to put important papers into. I don't know what it's called. She also got a chocolate cake. I guess that's a good Mother's Day. I'm not a Mother, and, as far as I know, I don't have a mother, so I can't judge.

Now she's watching some ball game, and she isn't even dressed in real clothes. She's just running around today in something called a caftan. I suppose comfort is the word for the day around here.

It's just a quiet day all around today. Mr. Nelson is sleeping on the front porch, as usual, keeping the neighborhood honest. Actually, I think he's just a nosy little dog. The other day when the cable dude came, he commented on how well-behaved Mr. Nelson was.

Well, whether you're having a rowdy, fun Mother's Day, or a quiet one, I hope it's happy.

Oops!

Hello most humans and many others,

Oops! Did you miss me yesterday? By the time I was allowed to use the computer, I completely and totally forgot what I was supposed to do. I must be catching forgetfulness from Missy Linda. She could forget something she has written on the inside of her eyelid!

First, Tio Kane had the computer for writing his final paper of the school year. Then the internet went out for a little while. By the time it was my turn, I just checked my email and facebook and did some shopping. (Don't tattle to Missy Linda about the shopping!)

I will get back in the swing of things, I promise. I was probably thinking about how I wish I could go to a Thunder game. Boy! That game last night was too tight for my taste! If I had a stomach, I'll bet it would have been tied in a knot, don't you?

Beautiful Rain

Hi most humans and many others,

Oh, boy! It's so nice and cool this morning, and the rain is just right - - - no storming or lightning. I wish I could sit on the front porch with Mr. Nelson while he keeps the yard safe. I can't get too close to him, though, because he eats the flowers off my dress. They're not even real flowers.

Missy Linda says the only problem with the rain is that it leads to lots of lawn mowing and work. She doesn't really mind, I think, except for her allergies. I'm not so sure about those, but she and Tio Kane complain about them a lot. She doesn't seem to mind mowing, but she can't use the weed eater. I think she just doesn't want to use it. The yard must be in dire need of some elbow grease because Missy Ryley said on Sunday that it looks like there's a lot of yard work to do. I have to believe if an eight year old knows that, it's pretty obvious.

Just Get Up, Already

Hello there most humans and many others,

I happen to know that Missy Linda wakes up every day at 5:55 am. I don't know why she doesn't get up and get busy at that time, but she just clinches her eyes shut and tries to go back to sleep. Pure laziness!

She never gets back to sleep, so she is wasting so much time. In one week, she wastes a whole work day (like she would know what a work day is!) She just lies there, usually listening to the news. If she wouldn't put the TV on the news, she might be able to sleep. She says she can't help but try to hear if the news is on. She acts as if she could do something about what's on the news. Wait one second, I have to laugh myself senseless thinking about her doing something important.

Okay, I'm back. All I know is, if someone awakens naturally at the same time every day, she must be meant to actually get up at that time. I mean, we're not talking about 3:00 am here. Most people with jobs probably get up around six, don't they? Maybe I will work on a way to make it more peasant for her to get up than to lie around in bed. That should be fun!

The Bowels of the Earth

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, I was totally shocked this morning when I heard on the national news that central Oklahoma is going to have a big earthquake. They don't know when or exactly how big it will be, but it is coming.

I have considered this situation, and I think I would be one of the last things that Missy Linda and Tio Kane grab to save. I picture that I will be left sitting on the table or worse, under the table. Then the house will start cracking, and it will split right down the middle because the fault, they will discover, is right here. I will start drifting down into the giant crack in the earth because I am not heavy enough to just fall quickly and get it over with. Then, because I am mostly Styrofoam with some polyester and some plastic, I will melt into a blob because I will have fallen so close to the center of the earth that it will be hot.

I hope I can float gracefully down to my eternal blobness and not scream and carry on like Missy Linda would. Maybe I will sing, like in the Sound of Music. If it happens before tomorrow, "Adieu, adieu, adieu, adieu, adieu."

It's Been Awhile, Huh?

Well, Missy Linda finally let me have the computer again. It's been so long, I thought you might think I had blown away or been thrown out during the long move. Missy Linda has relented and is letting me commence where I left off last - - - which you may remember is usually head down in a shopping bag!

Tio Kane gave Missy Linda a writing assignment the other day. I don't know if she has finished it or not. She was yelling from the kitchen, and she said the cabinet under the ovens was a "handy nightmare." Her meaning was that it was very easy to put things away down there with it's weird shelf construction. However, it's a big job to get them back out when needed. Tio Kane thought that was a peculiar way to say something, so he told her to write something with that phrase in it. He's usually just trying to keep her busy with something so that she won't talk him senseless. She's pretty good at that, if you remember.