Greetings

Greetings, world!

My name is Juana Tortilla, and I am a beautiful, lonely tortilla keeper. I am retired now due to a serious injury. I do not remember how it occurred, but I was left with a large hole in my Styrofoam base, which, of course, makes it completely impossible to fulfill my tortilla heat-and-freshness keeping duties. Perhaps when we are better acquainted, I will feel more comfortable showing you my wounds, but only my closest friends are allowed such intimacies. We shall see.

I am obviously of Hispanic descent; however, I was evidently made in the USA. I do not speak Spanish fluently. I remember that I previously lived in the Los Angeles area with three or four different families. I was then personally transported by Missy Carol to Edmond, OK, where I now live with Missy Linda. Perhaps I will regale you with tales about that at another time. I don't need to tell you, I'll bet, that I was apprehensive about moving to such a small town in such an "inland" state. I suppose that it doesn't matter as much where I live geographically as whether or not Missy Linda takes me out with her since I don't have any way to get around alone. After all, I don't even have feet! She doesn't seem to have a very exciting life, but, then, what do I know about what's exciting? I've spent most of my life head down in a shopping bag or behind closed cabinet doors! I'll find out soon what an exhilarating life is all about because she has promised to take me with her whenever she can. She does go to college though, and I'm dying to find out what that is all about, but she works at home so that means that she won't be taking me to her office or any place fun like that. Missy Linda says that she likes being able to work at any hour of the day or night, but that seems silly to me. Of course, what would I know about work except being beautiful and keeping tortillas fresh and warm?

At least Missy Linda gets out more than she did previously. She has been a little sad for awhile, but she is feeling better now. The mister who used to live here seems to be gone now. I heard the people saying that the divorce is final now. And things are much quieter around here these days. Missy Linda does complain sometimes that she is more lonely for the things that he took when he left than she is for him. Evidently he made sure that the very day he departed, he took some special gifts she had purchased for him. I believe they were autographed OU footballs signed by some famous people. There was also a bench made of the seats from the football stadium at OU--whatever that is! She says that she went to a great deal of trouble to acquire those footballs--something about meeting someone somewhere in a parking lot with cash. Sometimes I wonder just a little about Missy Linda.

Sometimes I worry a little or a lot about my own well-being, too. After all, I am completely at the mercy of Missy Linda. Why, just last week she left me in the freezing car for three days and nights! As you can see, I am not usually dressed warmly. She seems to think that her life is more important than mine. Someday she will discover the real order of the universe!

Well, I must go for now. I will be back soon to tell you all about my adventurous new life!