Just Get Up, Already

Hello there most humans and many others,

I happen to know that Missy Linda wakes up every day at 5:55 am. I don't know why she doesn't get up and get busy at that time, but she just clinches her eyes shut and tries to go back to sleep. Pure laziness!

She never gets back to sleep, so she is wasting so much time. In one week, she wastes a whole work day (like she would know what a work day is!) She just lies there, usually listening to the news. If she wouldn't put the TV on the news, she might be able to sleep. She says she can't help but try to hear if the news is on. She acts as if she could do something about what's on the news. Wait one second, I have to laugh myself senseless thinking about her doing something important.

Okay, I'm back. All I know is, if someone awakens naturally at the same time every day, she must be meant to actually get up at that time. I mean, we're not talking about 3:00 am here. Most people with jobs probably get up around six, don't they? Maybe I will work on a way to make it more peasant for her to get up than to lie around in bed. That should be fun!

The Bowels of the Earth

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, I was totally shocked this morning when I heard on the national news that central Oklahoma is going to have a big earthquake. They don't know when or exactly how big it will be, but it is coming.

I have considered this situation, and I think I would be one of the last things that Missy Linda and Tio Kane grab to save. I picture that I will be left sitting on the table or worse, under the table. Then the house will start cracking, and it will split right down the middle because the fault, they will discover, is right here. I will start drifting down into the giant crack in the earth because I am not heavy enough to just fall quickly and get it over with. Then, because I am mostly Styrofoam with some polyester and some plastic, I will melt into a blob because I will have fallen so close to the center of the earth that it will be hot.

I hope I can float gracefully down to my eternal blobness and not scream and carry on like Missy Linda would. Maybe I will sing, like in the Sound of Music. If it happens before tomorrow, "Adieu, adieu, adieu, adieu, adieu."

It's Been Awhile, Huh?

Well, Missy Linda finally let me have the computer again. It's been so long, I thought you might think I had blown away or been thrown out during the long move. Missy Linda has relented and is letting me commence where I left off last - - - which you may remember is usually head down in a shopping bag!

Tio Kane gave Missy Linda a writing assignment the other day. I don't know if she has finished it or not. She was yelling from the kitchen, and she said the cabinet under the ovens was a "handy nightmare." Her meaning was that it was very easy to put things away down there with it's weird shelf construction. However, it's a big job to get them back out when needed. Tio Kane thought that was a peculiar way to say something, so he told her to write something with that phrase in it. He's usually just trying to keep her busy with something so that she won't talk him senseless. She's pretty good at that, if you remember.

I Think It's Going to Happen

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, Missy Linda and Tio Kane have been driving me crazy with this talk about moving for I don't know how long. Finally, it's sounding like it might actually happen soon, like in a few days.

I heard Tio Kane tell Missy Linda that his air-conditioner quit working. Missy Linda said that they were expecting that to happen because last summer the repair man said it couldn't be fixed any more after that. That air-conditioner is the original one from when the house was built, so Missy Linda said it probably should be worn out. The air-conditioner for the downstairs broke at the end of summer last year so it doesn't work either.

Tio Kane's school with be out after tomorrow, so that means he can get busy on moving. I don't really know what to expect, but I'm tired of hearing about it and ready to get busy.

Out to get Us

Hello most humans and many others,

Missy Linda has decided that this house wants to kill us, or wants us to hurry up and move out, or maybe just wants to scare the bejeebers out of us. As you all are aware, I wonder sometimes if Missy Linda is all right in her head. However, this one time, she could be right.

Last evening, Missy Linda was just sitting in the family room, watching TV or whatever she does when she's sitting there with that blank look on her face. I never know if she's actually watching it because the TV is on all the time at our house. She got animated pretty fast, though, when fire started shooting out of aan outlet across the room!

There were a few seconds of actual flames along with some sparks that look like those sparkler things that kids run around with on the 4th of July. I didn't know she could move that fast! She jumped up and yanked out the plug of the extension cord that was plugged in there. One prong was missing and the plug and the outlet cover were somewhat melted. It's probably good that nothing was actually turned on that was plugged into the extension cord, although a little electric current flows if something is just plugged into the socket. There are black burn marks that go up about eight inches on the wall now. Missy Linda is going to leave them so whoever needs to know after we move can tell that there's a problem.

Fortunately, things cooled down, and there haven't been any more incidents. Missy Linda watched it last night because sometimes when there's been an electrical short, it flares up later. So far, so good. I feel that I'm going to die in some horrible way living with Missy Linda.
 

No One but a Mom

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, now for the rest of the story of yesterday's exciting day. If you personally know Missy Linda, you will appreciate this story even more than if you don't. We all know how Missy Linda refuses to hardly even answer the door without make-up, and she definitely doesn't leave the house without foundation and some eye make-up. She says (and it's true) that she has such blotchy skin color, and such purplish circles under her eyes, and somewhat colorless eyelashes along with light eye color, that she doesn't even look like the same person with make-up as she does without make-up. All this explanation to set the stage for how unusual what she did yesterday was.

When Tio Kane took his tumble down the stairs, he was very sleepy from working on his school project most of the night. However, he had planned to run to the store quickly to grab some milk and Diet Caffeine-free Dr. Pepper because he was out of both, and they are his life sustaining liquids.(!) So when he hurtled to the tile floor, he was somewhat discombooberated as well as injured. He asked Missy Linda if she would go to the store for his supplies since he would die without these magical liquids.

You should have seen her! Since Missy Linda had just been up a short time, she had not had a shower, and definitely was not wearing her "face." Since her hair is short and she has unusually oily hair and skin for someone her age, she looked a little psychotic when pieces of her hair couldn't be convinced to lie flat after a night of fitful tossing and turning.

She slipped into the clothes she had worn the day before. Her reasoning for that was that she wasn't clean, so why dirty up another set of clothing. She chose her crimson OU baseball style cap, pulled low down to her ears and eyes. Since it was a little cool, she wore her OU windbreaker in an attempt to keep contained any body odors she might have pre-shower. She looked somewhat like a bank robber.

First Missy Linda decided to try the closest 7-11 to buy just the minimum amount to get by until later in the day after her shower and making up her face. Unfortunately for Missy Linda, Diet Caffeine-free Dr. Pepper is not that easy to find, and 7-11 didn't have any. They didn't have hardly anything without caffeine. On to plan B.

That meant she was going to have to go to Hood Mart where she frequently shops. All she could do was to hope there was no one there who knew her. Missy Linda gathered herself together and went in where she had to go in order to get what she had to have for Tio Kane. She was a little distressed that the store was so busy early on a Saturday. On a weekday at that time, it would be nearly empty.

As far as I know, Missy Linda got the milk and pop without incident in the store. Of course, she thought she was traumatized by having to do that, but she had no proof that anyone was unduly offended or terrorized by her appearance or uncleanliness except her!

See what kind of craziness I have to live with every day?

Better than no Excitement

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, at least things around here have been more exciting than usual this morning. By saying, "more exciting," I don't necessarily mean good exciting, but it wasn't exactly catastrophic, either. I was lucky that I had a good view of the main event for a change.

Tio Kane had been up working on his project for school, and he was really sleepy. He was coming down the stairs when he stepped on the leg of his pajama pants with his other foot and hurtled down the stairs onto the tile floor. He used a lot of words that I hadn't heard before, even though I've heard a lot of interesting words from Tio Kane. I'm pretty sure I know what the meaning was.

I could also see that Missy Linda's brain was jumping around in her skull because I know she was trying to keep from saying something about how Tio Kane had insisted his pants be made that long when Missy Linda was sewing them for him. She did restrain herself from saying, "See, it was only a matter of time before something like that happened with your pants that long."  I think she's going to have a headache because it is so hard for her to keep her mouth shut!

Missy Linda and Tio Kane decided that his knee may be hurt some, in addition to bruises and a skinned place, but they'll wait a while to see if anything goes wonky. Tio Kane was so sleepy from being up most of the night that he went upstairs to sleep. Missy Linda doesn't think that's necessarily the best thing to do, but it's not the worst thing either. At least he didn't hit his head. Missy Linda always says, "We don't need any more brain damage in this family." I concur.

I'll tell you the rest of the story tomorrow.

What Happened to my Job?

Hello most humans and many others,

Poor Mr. Nelson is wondering what happened to all the squirrels that he routinely chases away from the bird feeders. That has always been his primary daytime job. Some days it was more than enough to wear him out. Actually, he knows the squirrels are still in the trees behind the fence because he can hear them jumping and running back there. Sometimes, when he is peeking through the fence, he sees them.

The trouble is that the utility company trimmed the trees to keep them away from the lines. They do this every few years. This time, though, they actually cut down whole trees! Five whole trees! Plus most of the branches on the trees they so kindly left. They have never cut away that much of the squirrels' playground before. It's kind of scary to Mr. Nelson that his frenemies' territory could be so plundered in less than one day.

Mr. Nelson tried to warn Missy Linda and Tio Kane about the men who walked through his own yard with all kinds of saws and tools. They just told him that the men were allowed to do that, but Mr. Nelson is still upset about the whole debacle.

No Internet

Hello most humans and many others,

I apologize for not writing for awhile because I know you count on my keeping you up to date on my exciting life. The truth is that we have not had internet at this house for awhile. It was transferred to the new house, but we aren't there yet. Since it was a new and updated modem that was installed there, Tio Kane had to wait until he had time to see if he could hook it up here in the meantime. He was able to do that last night so I can talk with you all again.

The Hero

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, the good news is that we haven't heard any scary wild animals since that terrifying night I told you about. However, Missy Linda, got a little anxious yesterday when Mr. Nelson decided he should defend his cul-de-sac from the friendly, larger, possibly lab mix, who lives in the neighborhood and comes by here sometimes. Missy Linda inadvertly let Mr. Nelson out into the front yard when the interloper was coming down the street toward our yard.

The loose neighborhood dog is very friendly, but Mr. Nelson doesn't want to hear it when he's in his own yard. He feels he must keep away any danger or threat, and he takes all his responsibilities seriously. The realization that the other dog is quite a bit larger than Mr. Nelson doesn't deter our protector.

Mr. Nelson's tail went up, which looked strange for a Sheltie, and he seemed to fluff out his fur to look bigger, like a cat would. He barked and circled and lunged at the tresspasser. Thank goodness, Mr. Nelson felt he got his point across before the larger dog attacked back very much. He finally obeyed Missy Linda and walked away from the fray and into the house with Missy Linda. 

I'm glad Missy Linda didn't have to jump into a dog fight, which it appeared she was about to do. She doesn't need any more bites and scratches other than the ones that Mr. Mushu gives her. That doesn't help her look attactive at all.