She Opens The Package!

Greetings everyone,
As you can see here, I have expertly wielded my giant scissors and have opened the box that was sent to me by my #1 Fans from Nuevo Mexico! They are so cool to send me a gift!

As you can now see, I am able to peek into my wondrous box. What's this? It is a letter from the sender.

As you can read the letter for yourself, there is no need for me to repeat what it says. I can hardly wait to see what they have sent me for La Fiesta Del Cinco De Mayo! I have already been thinking that I should get Missy Linda started on the preparations for "my" holiday. I will see you all tomorrow to find out what I received. Can you stand it until then?

Sorry, Missy Sharon!

Hi all,
Missy Linda just wanted me to let Missy Sharon know how sorry she is that she did not remember her birthday at the right time. Missy Sharon, you know what she is like; she just expects the rest of us to make allowances for her all the time. Since you have known her a long time, I am sure you are aware of how self-involved and selfish she is, right? If I were you, I would figure out some way to make her really sorry. I would be super glad to help you with that, if you would like. Just call on me; I'm sure we can come up with something fabulous to put her in her place!

I'll talk to the rest of you guys a little later today, OK?

Big Surprise!

Hi all,
Can you believe that I got a package in the mail yesterday? It was addressed to ME, ME, ME! See, here I am answering the door. It's a good thing I didn't have to sign for it because I don't know how to write my name. Can you believe that Styrofoam based tortilla keeper people do not just automatically get a free education in the United States of America? What a travesty!
(Note to self----remind Missy Linda to get busy with that painting she is always going to do.)


Here I am on the porch with my package. See how it is as tall as my shoulder! Wow, I cannot even imagine what it could possibly be, can you? If it were a little longer, it might be a car, right?


Here I am in the house, and I am going to open my package. See, it has my name right there on the label! I am still excited that I actually got something in the mail. And, look, it says, "Priority Mail" right there on the front. I must be very important!


Here I am with my scissors as I am starting to open the box. Just a side note-----Don't ever try to mess with me; look how I can handle those giant scissors!

I know that you are expecting to find out what is in my package, aren't you? Well, unfortunately for you, that's a story for another day.

I do want to send out a giant, "Thank You," to my biggest fans in Albuquerque, who sent me the fabulous package. More tomorrow!

Fun with Cat

Hi,
One of my new favorite pastimes is watching Mushu jump over things! If you don't remember who Mushu is, go back to some of the earliest blogs of mine, and take a look at him. He is one of the biggest cats in the world, I'm sure. Of course, I mean house cats, not tigers or bobcats or mountain lions. Also, remember that I told you that Missy Linda and Tio Kane have one of those baby gates at the bottom of the stairs to keep the cats (and little kids, if any are around) from going upstairs? Actually, it isn't on the bottom step; it is about three steps up. That makes it a lot harder for a cat to clear it from below.

Lately, I have been spending a lot of time gracing the dining room with my beauty by sitting on the dining table or the buffet. This gives me a great view of the stairs. Mushu has decided that if no one will open the gate for him, he will just have to fly over it because he loves to sleep up there in the room where Missy works. I cannot tell you how hilarious it is to watch him sit there and whine for awhile (he is pretty pathetic!) before he decides he is going to have to take matters into his own paws. You know how with some people and animals, you can just see the little wheels spinning in their little brains? It is pretty amazing to see when he actually clears the gate with his hanging down belly! He has one of those cat bellies that hangs down and sways back and forth when he walks. When he kind of runs, it looks like it would beat him to death! A lot of the time, he doesn't exactly clear the gate. There is a great crashing noise, and the gate falls down as his belly knocks against it! In this house, no one gets too excited about big ol' crashing noises or things equivalent. I guess it just happens too often to be worrisome. The gate doesn't fall away from the steps, though. It is set-up to fall against the stairs. That way it still works for the old man cat and little kids. He needs to rest most of the day after that! To me, that's a good start to the day.

Can't Stop Me!

Hey Guys and Gals,
Here I am riding Jackson, the donkey. There is a larger donkey, Jack, but he wasn't right there where I was at the time. I think that Missy Barb is very creative with the names for her donkeys, don't you? She used to also have one named Jenny.

I'm glad I had such a good time over the weekend because Missy Linda is kind of cranky right now. She has been gathering up all the documents she needs to fill out her tax forms today. She doesn't have to do the work; she just has to provide the stuff. This is the first time that she has been responsible for the taxes herself. Her divorce was final last year, and the Mister had always filled them out before. Missy Linda found almost a whole drawer full of letters from the IRS to the Mister from earlier years while she was looking for her bank statements today. She is glad that she is the one responsible for herself now! She is not worried because she has Missy Lesley to do the actual work of it. Thanks, Missy Lesley, for keeping Missy Linda out of trouble. I'm not implying that Missy Linda would do anything dishonest, but I am afraid she might do something dumb. You know how she is!

Just As Beautiful!

Good morning everyone,

Can you believe that I am driving this ginormous* tractor? And I look just as beautiful on it as I do on Princess! Hard to believe, isn't it? There's actually one of those huge round hay bales on the front of the tractor which I am taking to the pasture. I have pictures that show it, and I will share one soon. It seems impossible that I could drive this tractor since I cannot reach the gear shift or the pedals or anything else for that matter, doesn't it? Well, I'll tell you; it's not easy!

*This is a new word that was officially added to the dictionary on July 11, 2007, the day of the birth of little Emma Grace Watkins.

Look At Me!

Good morning to everyone,

Can you believe what you are seeing? I cannot believe how beautiful I look, can you? I am riding a horse named Princess, and that is Buckshot in the background. As you can see, he is smaller, but he is not broken to ride----only to pull a little cart. That leaves me riding the larger, taller miniature horse. It works out great since I am a miniature being, don't you think? It is not easy riding a horse when one has no legs to grab around the horse's body, so that makes me a thousand times braver than your average horse riding neophyte! It was so thrilling! I can see why so many of you humans enjoy riding horses. I think I know why I am on this earth now! Maybe next time I will ride the regular-sized horses. There are Peanut, Pebbles and Fancy. "Adios, amigos," she shouts as she rides off into the sunset.

What A Weekend!

Hey Cowgirls and Cowboys,
How has your weekend been? Mine has been great! Besides going to the women's slumber party, I rode a horse and a donkey and drove a tractor-------a great big tractor! I will prove it tomorrow with pictures.

Also, I have to say that this was one of the best slumber parties ever! All the gals and I never laughed so hard in our lives! It was good that we went out to eat and to a movie rather than just partying at someone's home because that meant we had to calm down while we were in public places. Those women were really proud of themselves that they were able to behave in the theater.

The only problem that I have with them is riding in the car when one of them is driving! Missy Linda had to stop the car two or three times to settle everyone down. Sometimes they act worse than a bunch of little brats. It is fun, though. Missy Linda said she thought their ribs would be sore the next morning because they had laughed so much. They all felt it would have been worth it! If they had been stopped by the police while driving, they wondered what would happen when they passed the breath test. They sure acted like they were drunk!

Missy Linda and I have mostly been asleep today. She had kept me up late several nights last week because of one thing and another. Then on Thursday night we were awake all night so she could get her work finished. I don't know why Missy Linda keeps me awake when she has to stay up, but I am beginning to get annoyed by that. We did take a nap for a couple of hours on Friday, and then we were raring to go. We all finally went to bed on Friday night about 2:00 or 3:00am. Everyone had worked on Friday, so they were all tired. I was even a little worn out. I am convinced that I do not get my optimum rest since I cannot lie down.

On Saturday, when we got home, Missy Linda finally got her flat tire fixed. Not one thing funny happened this time. I'm glad it's fixed, though. Missy Barb has a big compressor that will fill tanks with air. Missy Linda borrowed one and was able to inflate the tire well enough to get to the tire place, which is less than two miles away. Finally! I would have preferred to have one last laugh about the tire, but I guess I'll just have wait for another opportunity. It probably won't be long until something funny happens to Missy Linda-----or better yet, she does something completely insane!

Not Funny Enough

Juana Tortilla here,
How are you guys out there today? I am doing well except for the problem I have needing Missy Linda to turn on the computer for me. She just goes off in her brain somewhere to some place no one else understands, and she just totally ignores my needs. She hasn't even got that tire fixed yet! I am waiting and waiting and waiting. She is just not funny enough unless she is doing something like that. She did go out and get the car all jacked up the next day, and she tried some of the suggestions she got from learned tire changing people. She still hasn't gotten it done, though. It was mildly amusing that she was lying on the driveway in a cold rain for awhile, but that just is not enough. I'm hoping that tomorrow we get some things done around here.

But first comes tonight! Tonight is party night! Some of us girls are going out to eat and to a movie and then who knows after that! I'll let you in on the dish when I return home------they had better come up with something good! Later!

April Fool

Hello,
Ha, Ha. Got ya------it's not April Fool's today. I'm only one day behind, but if Missy Linda is always in charge, it will probably get worse. She didn't even turn on the computer for me yesterday! April Fool on me! There she goes again, just thinking of herself all the time. You should have heard her whining yesterday. I might have been just as well off being head first down in a shopping bag again rather than having to listen to her. Here's how it went:

The first thing when she got up, she was hollering about The Old Man having thrown up on her bed. (That was hilarious!) What I can't figure out is, how did the cat know that it was April Fool's day? There's so much I still don't understand about humans and pets. Of course, she was already cranky because it was really early when she got up. She had a bunch of work to get done and a looming deadline. Evidently, things in the work department were going along all right for a few hours, but then things started going downhill again.

As Tio Kane was leaving for an appointment, he called Missy Linda to tell her that she had a flat tire. Missy Linda said that she knew that it was not a joke because Tio Kane doesn't play jokes like that. She was correct; it was not a joke. By then, it was getting close to time for Missy Linda to get to class. It became apparent that she would not be able to get there, so she went back to trying to finish her work on time. She was annoyed with missing class because there were some papers due that day, and she had worked hard to get all the work finished. She had the required number of copies of everything all ready to go. She was glad that she would not be penalized for handing them in the next class time, though, or she would have walked to class. (Yeah, right.)

She called Mr. Nick to make arrangements for him to drop by after work to help her with putting on the spare tire. (He is her other son.) She just needed some instruction to get this job done-----or so they thought. A few minutes putting on the spare tire, and then Missy Linda could just run to the tire place and get the bad tire fixed-----right? Wrong.

In the meantime, Missy Linda borrowed Tio Kane's car when he got home. She had to run out to her boss's house to pick up something that she had forgotten the day before. She was glad that the low fuel light was blinking only a few miles before she made it to the gas station. Running out of gas would have ruined her day!

Missy Linda was all pooped out by then since she had missed a lot of sleep the last couple of days------you know, the tornado and then work. She did take a nap for about an hour. Mr. Nick did come over when he got off work, and they started to take care of the flat tire. You should have been there------it was so funny! I am definitely not laughing at Mr. Nick, he was just a victim of circumstance. I am laughing at Missy Linda because that's what I do for entertainment, and she gives me so many opportunities for enjoyment.

So they were out on the driveway, and they got the spare out from under the car just fine. The place that the jack had to be placed under Missy Linda's Rodeo is way underneath the car in a hard to reach spot. Mr. Nick crawled under there, and got the jack set. After getting the car jacked up, Mr. Nick was jumping on the tire tool handle to get the nuts loosened. It had been awhile since Missy Linda had bought new tires, so things were really set. He jumped hard enough to knock the Rodeo off the jack, but fortunately the car did not roll or anything. However, the jack was wedged at an angle between the driveway and the frame of the car. It took a while to get a jack big enough to raise the car high enough to get the first jack loose since Missy Linda's car is an SUV and the other cars were regular cars. (The jacks for the smaller cars don't have to lift as high.) After all that, they could not get the wheel off the car! All the lug nuts were off, the tire was off the ground, and they could not budge that wheel one iota! They even used a small sledge hammer. By then, Mr. Nick was taking it personally, so he tried a while longer. Finally, they put the nuts back on, took out the jack, put the spare in the back of the car, and decided to form a plan for today. They made a few phone calls last evening, so I think they have some things to try today. This could be fabulously funny! Mind you, I don't want them to get hurt, but Missy Linda can come up with the weirdest ideas----you cannot even imagine! I can hardly wait!