Snap Out of It

Hello most humans and many others,

I just want to let all of you out there know that I am officially tired of Missy Linda's whining and moping around, and I am putting her on notice. I will find a better place to live if she doesn't snap out of it and start taking me places and doing entertaining things with me.

Remember back when I had a party for every holiday - - - some of them weren't even important holidays? Remember when I had an outfit for every occasion and every holiday? I want to go back to those days.

If Missy Linda wants to have my brillant personality and lovely countenance around, she had better get on the stick and make my life more pleasant. I think I might be growing roots down into the dining table. Do you suppose that's possible?

If any of you out there would like to take on the responsibilities of making my life great, just let me know. OK? I think I could be rich and/or famous if I just had the right person helping me. Is that you?