Am I in Hell?

Hello most humans and many others,

I don't understand everything that you humans believe or think or do. I have always admitted to that. I have heard by listening to television and hearing humans talk about this place that is made of fire and brimstone. The thing is- - -I am wondering if that is where I am!

I understand that people who are not nice go to this place, although I am not quite sure what that means. I have heard conversations about global warming and other scary sounding talk. I am privy to a lot of yammering about subjects that I do not comprehend. Sometimes I wish I couldn't hear you humans all the time. It causes me to worry about strange things.

Anyway, I am wondering if I am in this place called hell because of how hot it is here all the time. I overheard on television that it has been over a hundred degrees for something like sixteen or seventeen days, and I heard Missy Linda belly aching about seeing the prediction that it will be that hot for at least the next week- - -even though she says it is too hot to even complain!

I don't actually know for sure how much one hundred degrees is, but I do know that if it gets any hotter, I am liable to melt- - -or at least get squishy!!!