Hello most humans and many others,
If any of you are still checking on me, I just wanted to let you know that I'll be back February 1, 2013. I need a little time to recuperate from a long bout of having been left head first in a shopping bag. Talk to you soon.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Sunday, September 9, 2012
An Anniversary
Hello most humans and many others,
Well, I haven't been any where or done anything since I talked to you about it last. I did get moved from the dining table to the side board or whatever that is that's also in the dining room. Not a long trip nor a very different vantage point. Have you all been thinking about what I said?
This month, according to Missy Linda, is the fifteenth anniversary of living in this house. She says that it will be the last because we are going to have to move, as you've heard before. She seems to be unhappy about this. She says there is going to be so much downsizing that we will probably be down to less than half as much stuff as we have now. She says that we'll be very fortunate if we can afford a house that is even half as big as this one. I think that she is trying to tell me that MY stuff is going to go.
I have a vision that wherever we land, I will not only not get any new dresses and things that I need, I will be losing many of my precious belongings. I don't think Missy Linda will get a storage facility for me.
Friends of Juana Tortilla out there, please consider the proposals I have been mentioning lately that pertain to my personal well-being. OK?
Well, I haven't been any where or done anything since I talked to you about it last. I did get moved from the dining table to the side board or whatever that is that's also in the dining room. Not a long trip nor a very different vantage point. Have you all been thinking about what I said?
This month, according to Missy Linda, is the fifteenth anniversary of living in this house. She says that it will be the last because we are going to have to move, as you've heard before. She seems to be unhappy about this. She says there is going to be so much downsizing that we will probably be down to less than half as much stuff as we have now. She says that we'll be very fortunate if we can afford a house that is even half as big as this one. I think that she is trying to tell me that MY stuff is going to go.
I have a vision that wherever we land, I will not only not get any new dresses and things that I need, I will be losing many of my precious belongings. I don't think Missy Linda will get a storage facility for me.
Friends of Juana Tortilla out there, please consider the proposals I have been mentioning lately that pertain to my personal well-being. OK?
Friday, August 24, 2012
Snap Out of It
Hello most humans and many others,
I just want to let all of you out there know that I am officially tired of Missy Linda's whining and moping around, and I am putting her on notice. I will find a better place to live if she doesn't snap out of it and start taking me places and doing entertaining things with me.
Remember back when I had a party for every holiday - - - some of them weren't even important holidays? Remember when I had an outfit for every occasion and every holiday? I want to go back to those days.
If Missy Linda wants to have my brillant personality and lovely countenance around, she had better get on the stick and make my life more pleasant. I think I might be growing roots down into the dining table. Do you suppose that's possible?
If any of you out there would like to take on the responsibilities of making my life great, just let me know. OK? I think I could be rich and/or famous if I just had the right person helping me. Is that you?
I just want to let all of you out there know that I am officially tired of Missy Linda's whining and moping around, and I am putting her on notice. I will find a better place to live if she doesn't snap out of it and start taking me places and doing entertaining things with me.
Remember back when I had a party for every holiday - - - some of them weren't even important holidays? Remember when I had an outfit for every occasion and every holiday? I want to go back to those days.
If Missy Linda wants to have my brillant personality and lovely countenance around, she had better get on the stick and make my life more pleasant. I think I might be growing roots down into the dining table. Do you suppose that's possible?
If any of you out there would like to take on the responsibilities of making my life great, just let me know. OK? I think I could be rich and/or famous if I just had the right person helping me. Is that you?
Sunday, August 19, 2012
To Go or Not To Go
Hello most humans and many others,
Wow! Missy Linda is about to drive us all crazy today! By 6:00 am tomorrow morning, she must be enrolled in school if she is going to go. She doesn't know what to do, she says. She doesn't have a job, and she isn't scheduled for any great interviews or anything. That means that she has no money, and she doesn't have a clue about when she will have some.
She says that it might be a good time to rack up some hours in school, but somehow the tuition must get paid. Or, on the other hand, she posits, she could take a class or two in the evening like she has been doing the last few semesters, in case she should get a day job. (Like that's going to happen.) She keeps hoping, though.
Here's the thing: I don't really care what she does about her little problems - - - as long as she shuts up about that stuff! She drives herself and everyone else bonkers by going back and forth and around and around about what to do. I think it's more than enough that I have to listen to her whine about how she's going to have to move. After all, I have to move, too!
Wow! Missy Linda is about to drive us all crazy today! By 6:00 am tomorrow morning, she must be enrolled in school if she is going to go. She doesn't know what to do, she says. She doesn't have a job, and she isn't scheduled for any great interviews or anything. That means that she has no money, and she doesn't have a clue about when she will have some.
She says that it might be a good time to rack up some hours in school, but somehow the tuition must get paid. Or, on the other hand, she posits, she could take a class or two in the evening like she has been doing the last few semesters, in case she should get a day job. (Like that's going to happen.) She keeps hoping, though.
Here's the thing: I don't really care what she does about her little problems - - - as long as she shuts up about that stuff! She drives herself and everyone else bonkers by going back and forth and around and around about what to do. I think it's more than enough that I have to listen to her whine about how she's going to have to move. After all, I have to move, too!
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Not Everyone Loves Olympics
Hello most humans and many others,
From listening to the television and Missy Linda and Tio Kane talking, it seems that all the world is interested in only the Olympics. But I know differently. I happen to know that at least a couple of people are not happy about the Olympics because I've been nosing around in Missy Linda's computer.
I know for sure that her friends, Merja Karhu and Clement Lee, who live in London, are not happy about the Olympics. Clement is a graduate student who is originally from Hong Kong. He is just annoyed that it is harder to get where he needs to go, and the city is just over run with too many people.
Merja's problems are similar to Clement's except hers are closer to her daily life. On one side of her apartment building, there is one of those giant screens where people can watch the athletic events. On the other side of her building is a carnival, which turned out to be a big bust. She has a young son so she thought at least he might have a good time there, but they couldn't even get all the rides up and running. She is not happy with all the noise and the greasy food smells, and her son is disappointed that he has not had any of the fun he had hoped he would.
Merja is awakened some mornings around 6:00 am by the soldiers and security guards patrolling outside her building. They talk loudly on their walkie-talkies. One morning she stepped out onto her balcony, and she heard one say, "Woman on second floor balcony."
I suppose she can at least feel safe, right?
From listening to the television and Missy Linda and Tio Kane talking, it seems that all the world is interested in only the Olympics. But I know differently. I happen to know that at least a couple of people are not happy about the Olympics because I've been nosing around in Missy Linda's computer.
I know for sure that her friends, Merja Karhu and Clement Lee, who live in London, are not happy about the Olympics. Clement is a graduate student who is originally from Hong Kong. He is just annoyed that it is harder to get where he needs to go, and the city is just over run with too many people.
Merja's problems are similar to Clement's except hers are closer to her daily life. On one side of her apartment building, there is one of those giant screens where people can watch the athletic events. On the other side of her building is a carnival, which turned out to be a big bust. She has a young son so she thought at least he might have a good time there, but they couldn't even get all the rides up and running. She is not happy with all the noise and the greasy food smells, and her son is disappointed that he has not had any of the fun he had hoped he would.
Merja is awakened some mornings around 6:00 am by the soldiers and security guards patrolling outside her building. They talk loudly on their walkie-talkies. One morning she stepped out onto her balcony, and she heard one say, "Woman on second floor balcony."
I suppose she can at least feel safe, right?
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Still Bad
Hello most humans and many others,
As I have been sitting here on the dining table, as usual, I have come to the conclusion that change is bad, just like I said before. I don't know what you humans are thinking, but you seem to be causing bad changes that will not be possible to make right - - - ever. Just this week, I saw on the news that there is no ice on Greenland right now. This has never happened before, and it is a really bad thing.
Missy Linda watched a show on TV about some people who live on an island in the Pacific were going to another island to beg the people on the second island to give them some of their land. The first island was fast becoming a death trap for its inhabitants because of the rising water levels. If the people from the first island can't find a place to move, they will starve to death a while before their island is completely under water. It is a really sad story. When this show ended, the people had not been able to find a new home yet. It didn't show if they ever got to move or not - - - maybe because they didn't know what would happen.
It seems that since I have lived here in Oklahoma, it has had terribly hot weather in the summers. It is supposed to be 108 degrees here every day this week! This is dangerous heat for me as well as for you humans and animals. Can you imagine what would happen to me if I got left in a hot car for a while in heat like that? I can't stand to even think about it!
Maybe I should try to think of some ways that change can be good. I'll have to see.
As I have been sitting here on the dining table, as usual, I have come to the conclusion that change is bad, just like I said before. I don't know what you humans are thinking, but you seem to be causing bad changes that will not be possible to make right - - - ever. Just this week, I saw on the news that there is no ice on Greenland right now. This has never happened before, and it is a really bad thing.
Missy Linda watched a show on TV about some people who live on an island in the Pacific were going to another island to beg the people on the second island to give them some of their land. The first island was fast becoming a death trap for its inhabitants because of the rising water levels. If the people from the first island can't find a place to move, they will starve to death a while before their island is completely under water. It is a really sad story. When this show ended, the people had not been able to find a new home yet. It didn't show if they ever got to move or not - - - maybe because they didn't know what would happen.
It seems that since I have lived here in Oklahoma, it has had terribly hot weather in the summers. It is supposed to be 108 degrees here every day this week! This is dangerous heat for me as well as for you humans and animals. Can you imagine what would happen to me if I got left in a hot car for a while in heat like that? I can't stand to even think about it!
Maybe I should try to think of some ways that change can be good. I'll have to see.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Change is Bad
Hello most humans and many others,
Well, things are going downhill fast around here, according to Missy Linda. I don't notice anything different except Missy Linda is complaining about some new things this week. She seems to be distressed because her headache medication is no longer being manufactured. She says it's the only thing that helps her migraines. I can only hope, for my sake, that she finds something that can take its place.
She is driving us all crazy about the fact that she doesn't want to move. We've all been hearing that for awhile so those of us who have to live with her are about ready to pound her. Maybe we should move to a different place than she does. Don't give her my address if I do that!
Missy Linda and Tio Kane are still mad that the grocery stores in this area have stopped carrying MaraNatha Dark Chocolate Almond Spread. It's available on line, but it is $10 a jar. I guess they don't want it that bad. Just for your own safety, do not suggest to either of them that Nutella is a decent substitute.
You should hear Missy Linda's hissy fit about how she can't find any more of those bamboo socks that she got at Target. She always looks for them when she goes there, and she looks other places, too. She was so happy with them because they were so soft, and they kept her feet much cooler than regular socks. She has one of those tirades every once in a while. It is quite the sight when she really goes off the road about it.
Well, I suppose that's enough about how Missy Linda's life has deteriorated because of how things have changed. When Missy Linda's life gets worse, she makes my life worse. I don't like that at all!
Well, things are going downhill fast around here, according to Missy Linda. I don't notice anything different except Missy Linda is complaining about some new things this week. She seems to be distressed because her headache medication is no longer being manufactured. She says it's the only thing that helps her migraines. I can only hope, for my sake, that she finds something that can take its place.
She is driving us all crazy about the fact that she doesn't want to move. We've all been hearing that for awhile so those of us who have to live with her are about ready to pound her. Maybe we should move to a different place than she does. Don't give her my address if I do that!
Missy Linda and Tio Kane are still mad that the grocery stores in this area have stopped carrying MaraNatha Dark Chocolate Almond Spread. It's available on line, but it is $10 a jar. I guess they don't want it that bad. Just for your own safety, do not suggest to either of them that Nutella is a decent substitute.
You should hear Missy Linda's hissy fit about how she can't find any more of those bamboo socks that she got at Target. She always looks for them when she goes there, and she looks other places, too. She was so happy with them because they were so soft, and they kept her feet much cooler than regular socks. She has one of those tirades every once in a while. It is quite the sight when she really goes off the road about it.
Well, I suppose that's enough about how Missy Linda's life has deteriorated because of how things have changed. When Missy Linda's life gets worse, she makes my life worse. I don't like that at all!
Monday, July 16, 2012
Normalcy
Hello most humans and many others,
Well, I have to admit that I will be glad when it gets to be 10:00 pm this evening. The Daily Show, followed by The Colbert Report, will be back on after a two week vacation. I am hoping that Missy Linda will start acting more normal after she gets her fix again.
It seems that she hadn't realized the shows were going to be on a two-week vacation. When she got back from visiting in Colorado, she was ready for some Jon and Stephen because the Harkeys, whom she was visiting, watch hardly any TV. Also, they don't have Comedy Central. She was kind of in comedy withdrawal in addition to being forced back into her crappy life after a nice trip. She almost freaked, but she kind of held it together when she realized it would be another week without seeing her shows.
I think that today, I see a tiny glimmer of hope in those dead eyes of hers. I can only hope that Jon and Stephen come through for me with some great shows tonight so my life will get better for a short time by making Missy Linda a little bit happy. If Missy Linda is less miserable, she makes me less miserable.
Well, I have to admit that I will be glad when it gets to be 10:00 pm this evening. The Daily Show, followed by The Colbert Report, will be back on after a two week vacation. I am hoping that Missy Linda will start acting more normal after she gets her fix again.
It seems that she hadn't realized the shows were going to be on a two-week vacation. When she got back from visiting in Colorado, she was ready for some Jon and Stephen because the Harkeys, whom she was visiting, watch hardly any TV. Also, they don't have Comedy Central. She was kind of in comedy withdrawal in addition to being forced back into her crappy life after a nice trip. She almost freaked, but she kind of held it together when she realized it would be another week without seeing her shows.
I think that today, I see a tiny glimmer of hope in those dead eyes of hers. I can only hope that Jon and Stephen come through for me with some great shows tonight so my life will get better for a short time by making Missy Linda a little bit happy. If Missy Linda is less miserable, she makes me less miserable.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Real World
Hello most humans and many others,
Well, Missy Linda has been back from vacation for over a week now, and she doesn't seem refreshed or energized or whatever you humans are supposed to feel after a vacation. She seems kind of down to me. Of course, there's nothing new about that for her, but why do you humans go on trips if you feel worse when you get back? That's probably one of those human things that I will never understand.
Missy Linda has always said (since I've known her) that she wants a little house by some kind of water. She would really love a clear stream like the one that flows through Turner Falls Park to go by her home. Evidently, where she visited up by Rocky Mountain National Park, there are lots of little houses right by clear mountain rivers. It made her all mopey to come back to reality, I suppose. Or maybe she just realized again that she will never have that little house. I say to her, "Snap out of it!"
Well, Missy Linda has been back from vacation for over a week now, and she doesn't seem refreshed or energized or whatever you humans are supposed to feel after a vacation. She seems kind of down to me. Of course, there's nothing new about that for her, but why do you humans go on trips if you feel worse when you get back? That's probably one of those human things that I will never understand.
Missy Linda has always said (since I've known her) that she wants a little house by some kind of water. She would really love a clear stream like the one that flows through Turner Falls Park to go by her home. Evidently, where she visited up by Rocky Mountain National Park, there are lots of little houses right by clear mountain rivers. It made her all mopey to come back to reality, I suppose. Or maybe she just realized again that she will never have that little house. I say to her, "Snap out of it!"
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Home From Her Trip
Hello most humans and many others,
Well, Missy Linda got home from her trip to Fort Collins, Co, on Friday evening. She must have had a good time. I wouldn't know for sure because I wasn't allowed to go. She said that there wasn't room in her suitcase for me, and she said I wouldn't fit under the seat in the airplane. That meant that I would not be allowed to go with her. I wouldn't really have expected to be allowed to go anyway since I never get to do anything any more.
I heard her say that she went to a lot of good restaurants. She went up into the mountains without being scared like she says she used to be. She says her knees are sore, but, other than that, she's all right. She used to be scared to death of heights, but she's a lot more mellow now, she says. She wonders if it is because she has bigger problems now so heights aren't so daunting. I say, "Who cares?"
Well, Missy Linda got home from her trip to Fort Collins, Co, on Friday evening. She must have had a good time. I wouldn't know for sure because I wasn't allowed to go. She said that there wasn't room in her suitcase for me, and she said I wouldn't fit under the seat in the airplane. That meant that I would not be allowed to go with her. I wouldn't really have expected to be allowed to go anyway since I never get to do anything any more.
I heard her say that she went to a lot of good restaurants. She went up into the mountains without being scared like she says she used to be. She says her knees are sore, but, other than that, she's all right. She used to be scared to death of heights, but she's a lot more mellow now, she says. She wonders if it is because she has bigger problems now so heights aren't so daunting. I say, "Who cares?"
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