Forest Fire

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, that big fire in Colorado is near where Missy Elise and her family live. They aren't worried about their house because it is on the other side of town from the foothills so the fire would have to go all the way across there to get to them. Also, if it should go toward town, there is not much fuel for it to advance so rapidly. In the mountains, it is burning dead and dry pine trees, and there isn't as much fuel toward town. Also, it would have to cross highways and lots of other barriers.

Missy Elise says sometimes they can smell it a lot, but not all the time. Missy Linda hopes it is out in the next couple of weeks before she goes up there to visit.

Thunder Up!

Vivid Dreams

Hello most humans and many others,

Missy Linda says she feels a little discombobulated today. She had one of her "vivid dreams" last night. These are those dreams that when you wake up, you have trouble figuring out if the dream was something that really happened. She hates it when these dreams have that Mr. who used to live here in them. Sadly for her, they usually do.

She says that the dream she had last night had lots of her dead relatives in it, along with that Mr. In it, the Mr. was doing many of the things to annoy her that he did when he lived here, but she was glad to see some of the people she can't see in real life any more. She saw her mother and her Aunt Zedna. In the dream, her daddy reads my blog about Missy Linda, and she finds that truly fantastic, in all the ways that word can be construed. She likes to feel that one of her parents would approve of her life, but she is sure that in reality, neither would. She says she grabs onto whatever she can get. I just think she is  at least as crazy as I think she is. She's just not ever going to be normal, so I should just accept that, I suppose.

Can People Get Cat Diseases?

Hello most humans and many others,

I was just wondering if humans can get diseases from their cats. Mr. Mushu started sneezing yesterday. He hasn't really done that before, and he doesn't go anywhere to catch anything. He literally goes no further than the garage since Mr. Nelson came to live here because they HATE each other. One time they ran into each other on the driveway, and Mr. Mushu wants none of that business.

Anyway, Mr. Mushu sneezed all night long, a lot of which was spent on Missy Linda's bed. When Mr. Mushu wants a late night snack, he gets right in Missy Linda's face and meows. If that doesn't work, he starts poking her with his paw. He uses a combination of these until she gets him a snack. (Perhaps that's why he weighs at least 25 pounds.)

So last night, when Mr. Mushu wanted a snack, he would sneeze right in Missy Linda's face. That woke her instantly, but she was not in a very good mood. According to her, even when he wasn't in her face, he was someplace else on the bed, sneezing. She is convinced she is going to catch some horrible cat virus.

If Missy Linda should die of some disease that she caught from a cat, do you know how humiliating that would be for me? It would probably be at least on the local news, depending on the weirdness of the virus or disease. How embarrassing would that be?

Not a Good Start

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, today is not off to a good start at our house. The phone rang before Missy Linda was up this morning. She was awake, but was just lolling in bed. It was the Mr. who used to live here. All he said was, "Sorry, wrong number." That was more than enough for Missy Linda who hadn't seen him in person or heard his voice in a long time, probably five years.

That doesn't really seem like a big deal to me, but Missy Linda and the Mr. who used to live here have been arguing through email about some stuff. I think Missy Linda is about stretched to her breaking point. I have thought that before, though, and she always keeps plodding along. She just says, "What else is there to do?"

Trash Day

Hello most humans and many others,

Monday is trash day at our house. That means that Mr. Nelson is a bundle of energy all day. He loves that he gets to run in and out of the front door to "help" take out all the trash and recycling. Missy Linda makes a lot of trips to the curb with all kinds of things after the trash can and recycling bins are put out because she is very disorganized or something.

Mr. Nelson also barks a lot on trash day. He barks at the various trucks and workers. Today is actually "big trash" day which happens every first Monday of the month. That means that there are all kinds of extra trucks, depending on what people have put out. He loves it.

Mr. Nelson is as pumped all day on trash day as he was that day he ate some coffee grounds that Missy Linda dropped on the floor! 

What is it With Birds?

Hello most humans and many others,

I was just trying to figure out why Missy Linda and so many of you humans are so entertained by birds. This morning, Missy Linda was mesmerized by a downy woodpecker hopping up the metal pole of the bird feeder while he seems to be trying to determine what the hell the pole was made of. Woodpeckers always have trouble trying to eat from her bird feeder because they eat in a different way than other birds. Downy woodpeckers are much smaller than our usual woodpeckers that live here so they can eat the seeds in the feeder more easily than those huge woodpeckers. I think that they don't really like sunflower seeds so much though.

I have to admit that feeding birds is an inexpensive hobby compared to many of the things that you humans do. Also, I suppose that it helps the birds who are to lazy to find their own food. Every once in a while some bird not usually seen in this area will show up at the cafe, and Missy Linda goes bonkers. She tries to take pictures, and sometimes, she calls people. Sadly, not one of her pictures has ever turned out well. Poor Missy Linda.

No Excitement, No Accidents

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, Missy Linda and Tio Kane got the tree chopped up pretty well with no excitement and no accidents. I don't really want bad things to happen, but since I never get to go anywhere any more, a little break from the boredom would be nice once in a while. What if you had to just sit on the dining room table or a dining chair or the kitchen counter all the time, and what's right there is all you could see? You would know what I mean then.

After they chopped up the tree in the front yard, they started cutting down some dead shrubs in the back yard that were so big Missy Linda couldn't cut them by hand. When they got about one and three-quarters of three chopped away, Missy Linda bent the chain on the chainsaw. They were too hot and tired to go back to Home Depot and get a new chain, so they just quit. I didn't mention that they had already been back once to get a new chain , did I? Missy Linda says she has trouble remembering to keep it straight and to not try to saw at weird angles. She loved the stupid saw though. She wore this stupid helmet with ear protectors and a big face shield of mesh. She thought she looked quite cute in the whole get-up.

It's when she's acting like that when I am kind of glad she doesn't take me places. I try to look on the bright side, see?

Good Day to Chop Firewood

Hello most humans and many others,

I'll swear, I don't think I'll ever figure out you humans. Today, Missy Linda and Tio Kane are sawing up the top of one of the big maple trees in the front yard. Don't worry. They won't be up on ladders or anything so I don't expect any entertainment value from the whole thing at all. That would be way too much fun for me!

The big chunk of the tree is not up high anymore at all. It's lying across the yard since it mysteriously blew down, was struck by lightening, or otherwise became unattached from the rest of its trunk. It didn't hit the roof or break the window so Missy Linda says that's about all she can ask with the kind of luck she has. There's probably not really any danger that there will be any chainsaw injuries because Home Depot rents these electric saws that look like giant electric knives for people like Tio Kane and Missy Linda.

Missy Linda likes to tell this story about how she knows someone who bled to death after accidentally hitting himself in the thigh with a chainsaw. I think she does that to make everyone think she is doing something perilous. Nice try, Missy Linda. Maybe next time we'll be concerned. Now take your antihistamines and get crackin'!

Not the Best of Times

Hello most humans and many others,

I have probably lost a lot of you guys already because I haven't been keeping you up on my life. I know I have dropped the ball for awhile now. Missy Linda doesn't remember to let me have a turn at the computer when she has other things on her mind. Also, I got moved to a chair in the dining room, and then a jacket or something got thrown over me. You know what you humans say, "Out of sight, out of mind."

I've been hearing Missy Linda and Tio Kane talk, and it sounds as if we are going to be moving. I think that they do not want to move at all, but I don't know why. Missy Linda says things about having lived in this house longer than she's lived in any house her whole life. They talk about how they will have to get rid of so many of their things, and they don't know where to start.

I don't really understand their problems. I'm pretty sure that I'll be thrown into a shopping bag and taken to wherever it is we are going. I just hope that someone remembers to take me out when we get there

What's in a Name?

Hello most humans and many others,

Well, school is finally out for Missy Linda and Tio Kane. Missy Linda had told me that she was going
 to take me to her class this semester. She said that she would take my picture with her classmates. After hearing about them for all that time, I wanted to meet them. Actually, some of them had been in other classes with her so I had heard about them for a long time.

Her friend Marnie sounds like she is really cool even though she likes a lot of the same things Missy Linda does. "Hoodie Guy" is a super nice young man with a little daughter. He is the same age as Mr. Nick. Missy Linda thinks he has so much talent for writing that she wants him to get busy and publish some books. She says she will spend her grocery money to buy his work. There are two other young men that Missy Linda really likes who were in the class. She says that at first the guys are always a little shy around her because they probably think of her as a mother-type person. She says she tries to nip that idea in the bud. Before long everyone acts like she's just any other classmate.

"Pirate Woman" is someone whom Missy Linda just never could click with. Missy Linda started calling her that because in another class, all that woman wrote about was pirates. The two of them just like totally different types of stories and totally different types of everything.

Missy Linda would get mad at me if I didn't explain that these nicknames are not derogatory in any way. They are just descriptive terms to identify people when she doesn't know their real names. Then by the time she finds out their names, the nicknames are imbedded into her brain. She is so weird.

For two semesters she had a classmate whom she called "Smoky Laptop." That was his nickname because he always used a huge laptop in class, and he was a heavy smoker. I wonder what other people call her, don't you?