Welcome, Sam

Hello humans,

Well, your fold has been increased by one. Sam Turner Flaniken was born yesterday morning in Oklahoma City. He is Ryley and Emma's cousin. His mommy is Miss Lesley's sister. It seems like you people make a big production about having a new one of yourselves get here. And, by the way, where do they come to here from? (I don't mean the birds and the bees, people!)

I am so puzzled by so many things that you humans do. I thought I would have it all figured out by now. I never have heard anything about any baby Tortilla Keeper People being born. I have never seen it in the newspaper or heard it on the news. I have never seen anyone else exactly like me! I am beginning to feel like an alien. This is becoming worrisome.

Well, Missy Linda says I have to get off the computer because she needs to do something before she vacuums. Ryley and Emma are coming over to play today, and they play in the floor a lot. I personally don't see what a little dog hair and dirt could do to a kid, but Missy Linda gets her panties all in a bunch about it. Talk to you later, OK?

Never My Turn

Hello humans,

Well, I am a little late in the day today, aren't I? I think that Missy Linda forgot about letting me have my turn at the computer. If you all remember, I cannot turn on the computer and then get up into the chair by myself. It is still my goal to try to find a way to get that done without any person's help. Then I would be able to use the computer any time I wanted to---just like you humans do.

I will get to do some things that I like to do on Friday. I think that Emma and Ryley are going to come over to play with me on Friday. They are going to be having a new little cousin in a day or two, and their mom will be busy with that. That is good with me because they are a lot of fun, and they like to play Barbies and dress up and all the things that I like to do.

Uh-oh. Here comes Missy Linda. She is kicking me off the computer so that she can get her homework done. Big deal! She is always saying she has to do that. I am starting to wonder if that is true all the times she says it. What do you think?

Great Party

Hello humans,

This is me with Amelia and some of her birthday gifts. Aren't we as cute as can be? Amelia has just reached the age where she tries to use a "camera smile" rather than her own beautiful smile. I have noticed that all human kids seem to go through this phase. It's a shame that they get self-conscious. Amelia isn't even showing her dimple! Anyway, we had a fabulous time. Notice the beautiful tiara that she is wearing----hint, hint, Missy Linda. I really like that.

Oh, my! I can hear it raining outside. It's a good thing that it is not as cold as it was on Sunday! Missy Linda saw a little bird who just looked in the bird watering dish and then flew away. She thought that the water was gone so she went out there with a pitcher to refill it. It wasn't gone at all---it was frozen! The whole top layer about three eights of an inch thick was frozen. The weather dude said that it was 33 degrees so that seems weird. Anyway, it's not frozen this morning.

Well, Missy Linda is trying to get me to hurry up and finish this. She says she has home work to do. As you all know by now, she thinks that her needs trump my needs every time. That sucks, doesn't it?

I'm Beat!

Hello humans.

Well, I am kind of groggy this morning. I went to Fayetteville, AR, yesterday to Missy Amelia's 3rd birthday party. I had a fabulous time. There were a lot of people there that I did not know, of course. That's part of the reason that I like to go places---to meet new humans.

Oh, my goodness! I want to have a birthday party! Missy Amelia got some great presents! A little boy named Jack got her some beautiful pink sparkly shoes. Jane brought her a set of fabulous jewelry with huge pink stones that flashed with light. I have never seen jewels like that before. Does anyone know what those are called? There was a tiara, necklace, huge ring, two bracelets, and I don't know what else in the set. She got new clothes. Who wouldn't love that? I can't even remember the rest, except for a tea set. It was glorious!

I think I had better go and try to recover from the splendor of it all, don't you?

Out of Here!

Humans,

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MISSY BARB!

Now, I will talk to the rest of you yahoos tomorrow----maybe. I am out of here! I am on my way with Missy Linda to Fayetteville for Missy Amelia's birthday party. Yea! I love birthday parties! And Missy Amelia loves me.

So long for today. OK?

Now, Back To Me

Greetings humans,

Well, the election is over. Did your guy or gal win? Missy Linda and Tio Kane are glad about who is going to be President, but they are not happy about some of the other races. Anyway, that is in the past, and it is time to talk about me again.

Like I said the other day, tonight is the dinner for Missy Barb's birthday. I am trying to figure out a plan to make sure that I get to go. Missy Linda has been forgetting about me a lot lately, and I need to put a stop to that!

On Friday, Missy Barb and Missy Joanie are going on the trip to San Antonio. Missy Linda and I could not go because we are going to Missy Amelia's birthday party in Fayetteville, AR. Missy Barb and Missy Linda keep saying to me that we will go to San Antonio next spring, but I am not so sure that I will ever get to go, now. I really wanted to see what my culture is like and look for long lost family members. Oh, well, next spring it is!

Go Do It!

Humans,

Just go vote today, if you have not already done it. And remember, Missy Linda and I need health insurance. OK?

What's Next?

Hello humans,

Well, I have celebrated Halloween, and I am attempting to get elected to something. What's next? Tomorrow is election day, and since I did not get on the ballot any where, I really do not expect to win---this time. So, that leaves me pretty free. What do you humans do next?

Missy Linda is sometimes running behind in her planning for things, so I am asking you all. If I need a beautiful outfit or need to get my hair done for something, I like to know ahead of time. Do you know that she did not make my Halloween wig until that day? That really worries me when we are cutting things that close. I like to savor my appearance ahead of time.

Last week Missy Linda, Missy Barb, Missy Carol and Mr. Fred took Pseudo-uncle out to dinner for his birthday, as I mentioned at the time. Remember? I did not get to go! This week, it is Missy Barb's birthday, and they are going out to eat again. I suppose I won't get to go this time, either. Then on Friday, it is Amelia's third birthday party. Missy Linda will be going to Fayetteville for that celebration, but I am figuring that she won't take me even though Missy Amelia particularly loves me. She calls me "Juana Tor-teeeeee-a". I love it!

You can see why I would ask what the next celebration is, in case I don't get to go to any of the family things coming soon. I think that I am being frozen out of my adopted family, don't you?

Almost Time to Vote!

Greetings humans,

I understand that Tuesday is election day. I know that I did not get on the ballot, but I have heard that in some places, a name can be written in. If you live where you can do that, please vote for me. Next time, I will understand the process, and I can get my name on the ballot. Of course, I will have to decide what office I would like to hold. Maybe you all can help me with that.

What do you think that I would be good at doing? I could run for vice president. They don't do much at all. Don't they really mostly just travel and make nice with other countries and stuff? I could do that easily. I heard that there is a big house that comes with the job, too. I think that I am much more strikingly beautiful than that lady who is running now. Also, I don't wear glasses, and I don't have a pile of kids. I would be free to really do some diplomatic work, don't you think?

Anyway, even if you can't write in my name, go out and vote. I will just have to wait until next time to really run. Just go and vote, OK?

Halloween

Greetings ghosties and ghoulies,

How was your Halloween? Mine turned out great! Tio Kane and Missy Linda came through and got me all ready for scaring kids to death. Most of our little Trick or Treaters were too little to understand me, but it was fun anyway. I helped Missy Linda give them candy.



Don't you think that I make an unusually magnificent "Bride of Frankenstein"? I don't know who that is, but I think I make the best one ever! I looked much too stunning to really terrify anyone. I like it that way. Sometimes, it is a slight disadvantage being so captivating, but it is a problem with which I can deal. How do you like my fabulous up-do? I have to admit, Missy Linda is a good hair stylist.

Well, I've got to go and get some rest. Next year, I am going to throw a huge party, and invite all of you guys, OK?